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The Problem With...

James Smith
The Problem With...
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151 episodes

  • The Problem With...

    The Problem With Comfort: Anthony (Staz) Stazicker CGC

    17/04/2026 | 1h 52 mins.
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    Anthony "Staz" Stasziker, a former special forces officer, shares essential life advice on the importance of hard work, discipline, and the problem with living a comfortable life. Staz highlights that true success, much like military training in special ops, is not easily achieved but requires dedication. It's about putting in the effort, not just romanticizing the idea.

    Chapters

    00:00 - Why Comfort Is Making Us Weak

    01:33 - The Friction We Desperately Need

    06:34 - How Jiu-Jitsu Changed Everything

    08:12 - Leaving Special Forces With Nothing

    12:14 - The Hidden Force Controlling Your Life

    19:28 - Are We Raising a Generation of Losers?

    25:02 - From Failed Footballer to Elite Sniper

    31:34 - What They Don't Tell You About Special Forces

    41:53 - The Future of War Is Terrifying

    51:59 - The Real Reason Men Are Falling Apart

    56:04 - The Trauma Nobody Talks About

    01:00:57 - The Drug Curing PTSD Overnight

    01:06:34 - Why He Climbed Everest in 7 Days

    01:22:19 - Buried Alive on the World's Highest Mountain

    01:43:38 - What He Learned at 29,000 Feet
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  • The Problem With...

    The Problem With Being Honest: Ian Leslie

    14/04/2026 | 1h 12 mins.
    Ian Leslie joins James Smith to unpack the uncomfortable truth about honesty: we can't actually handle it. A bestselling author and host of the Where Shall We Meet podcast, Ian argues that lying isn't a bug in human nature but an evolutionary feature — the very thing responsible for our big brains, our creativity, and our capacity for art.

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    Ian Leslie On Substack – https://ianleslie.substack.com/

    The Ruffian Podcast by Ian Leslie - https://open.spotify.com/show/4Qm30smGRQjhEPUMq49uU8

    James opens up about being honest with his employees, hiring a brutally candid editor for his next book, and how a rugby coach telling him he "played like shit" taught him more than any polite feedback ever could.

    He explains:

    ◼️ Why lying is a sign of intelligence, creativity and empathy in children

    ◼️ How the online world breeds dishonesty

    ◼️ Why office politics is passive aggression at scale

    ◼️ How trust is the prerequisite for any productive disagreement

    ◼️ Why sport is civilisation's greatest cage for our warrior instincts

    Chapters:

    00:00 Why Lying Is Hardwired Into Our Intelligence

    01:22 The Problem With Honesty Is We Can't Handle It

    03:14 The Invention of Lying and Useful Deception

    06:12 Why Lying Sits in Our Moral Grey Zone

    08:37 When Your Child Should Start Lying to You

    10:48 Autism, Theory of Mind and Honesty

    12:01 Conformity as a Form of Social Lying

    14:30 Self-Deception and the Lizard Brain

    15:59 Cults, Ideologies and Online Group Lies

    19:37 Interrogation Tricks and Cognitive Load

    22:05 Telling Stories Backwards to Catch Liars

    22:46 The Jiu-Jitsu Ringworm Test

    25:18 Artists as Legitimised Liars

    26:24 Bob Dylan's Reinvention and the Line Between Lying and Art

    27:18 Embellishment, Storytelling and Social Incentives

    28:50 Advertising as a Lie We Collude In

    30:08 Dating Dynamics and Honesty With Women

    32:29 Why Honesty Is Your Best Bet in the Long Run

    34:09 The Woman Who Lied About Her Age

    36:04 Botox, Makeup and Physical Deception

    38:13 Height, Ethnicity and the Online Dating Filter

    41:13 How Digital Breaks Humans Into Packets

    41:56 Why Workplaces Are Full of Bullshit

    44:14 Office Politics as Passive Aggression at Scale

    45:06 James Getting Dropped From His Rugby Team

    47:22 Hiring a Brutally Honest Editor

    48:40 Trust as the Prerequisite for Honesty

    50:00 The Two Channels of Every Difficult Conversation

    52:19 Jiu-Jitsu, Conflict Resolution and Primal Urges

    55:06 Sport as Civilisation's Substitute for War

    57:37 Michael Jordan as a Roman Warrior

    57:58 John Jones and the Beautiful Cage of MMA

    58:24 The Ashes, the Barmy Army and Sportsmanship

    01:00:24 The Gilded Cage of Rules and Norms

    01:01:13 Zero-Sum Games and Honest Feedback

    01:03:09 Why Participation Medals Miss the Point

    01:05:16 Giving Brutal Feedback on Content

    01:07:16 Have You Earned the Right to Be Honest?

    01:08:26 Ian's Book: John and Paul — A Love Story in Songs

    01:11:22 The Creative Power of Love

    This conversation takes a candid look at why deception is woven into the fabric of human intelligence, the corrosive cost of workplaces where nobody says what they think, and the trust that has to exist before honesty can actually land. Ian's perspective on disagreement, creativity and the relationship channel beneath every argument offers a sharp counterpoint to James's trademark bluntness — and the result is a conversation that will change how you think about every hard conversation you've ever avoided.
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  • The Problem With...

    The Problem With Being Your Business: James Haskell

    07/04/2026 | 1h 39 mins.
    James Haskell joins James Smith for a brutally honest conversation about life after professional sport, the chaos of building multiple businesses, and what it actually takes to stay relevant when the game is over. A former England rugby star, Sunday Times bestselling author, and DJ, Haskell pulls no punches on the mental cost of reinvention — and why his obsession with performing has never really left him.

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    James Haskell on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jameshaskell

    James Haskell's music – https://open.spotify.com/artist/5ry5gHsT7l1X84yGPZeVIj

    The Good, The Bad & The Rugby – https://open.spotify.com/show/1LJJ9KUF4aAjcSPimyKfp3

    James opens up about the fear of failure that drove him through rugby, the strange emptiness that follows success, and why 40 felt like the moment everything had to change. From DJing in a music industry that doesn't return emails, to launching Black Eye Gin with a £1.50-per-bottle charity model, to finally getting his testosterone tested — this one covers ground most people won't.

    He covers:

    ◼️ Why being your own business is feast or famine — and how to future-proof it

    ◼️ The DJ career no one takes seriously (yet)

    ◼️ Building undeniable proof against self-doubt

    ◼️ Why catastrophising your future can be a legitimate motivational tool

    ◼️ What testosterone at level 3 actually feels like — and what TRT changed

    ◼️ The email list gap that's costing him (and you) real money

    Chapters:

    00:00 There Are a Lot of Lost Men Out There

    01:23 The Problem With Being Your Own Business

    03:22 Life After Rugby — Planning vs Panic

    05:05 Finding What You Actually Want to Do

    05:30 The DJ Career: 12 Years, 31 Records

    07:22 MMA, Surgeries and the Body Paying the Price

    09:24 Going Back to Basics in 2026

    10:18 Why Haskell Got Into DJing

    12:01 Building Undeniable Proof Against Self-Doubt

    13:31 Imposter Syndrome, Evidence Bases and Therapy at 17

    15:35 Creating Common Enemies as Motivation

    18:06 Catastrophising as a Motivational Mechanism

    18:44 Defining What Success Actually Looks Like

    19:21 Why Very Wealthy Men Lose Their Money

    20:01 The Rocky Montage Years: Fear of Failure as Fuel

    20:52 Learning to Sit In the Moment

    22:00 The Music Industry Is a Wild West Shambles

    24:50 The 50 Cent Tour Story — Music vs Every Other Business

    27:03 Drug Culture, Harm Reduction and the Honest Conversation

    30:49 What He'd Tell His Daughter About Drugs

    32:02 Social Media, Innocence and Raising Kids Today

    33:39 Does Civilisation Correct Itself?

    35:40 On Politics, Reform and Weak Leaders

    37:13 Hair Transplants, Prince William and Shaving Your Head

    39:14 The James Haskell Effect on Rugby Back Rows

    41:47 Henry Pollock, Pranks and the England Camp

    44:03 The Witch Teeth Prank at the Dentist

    45:24 The 2007 World Cup — and Ronny Ring's Band of Brothers Moment

    49:01 Maidenhead RFC, Getting Dropped and a Mate's Game of His Life

    53:41 Black Eye Gin — The Charity, the Recipe and the Origin

    57:06 Rugby, UFC and Sports That Don't Apologise for Themselves

    59:55 Trying Neutonic for the First Time

    01:01:05 Building an Event That Combines Sport, Music and Fitness

    01:07:19 Peptides, BPC-157 and Healing a Torn Bicep

    01:09:05 Testosterone at Level 3 — Getting on TRT

    01:20:32 The Relevancy Trap and Running Active Businesses

    01:22:38 The Infinity Pool Story — Getting the Balance Right

    01:26:36 Why Haskell Doesn't Have an Email List (Yet)

    01:27:46 The Email Marketing Masterclass He Didn't Ask For

    01:37:57 What's Coming Next: Music, DJ Gigs and the Tequila Launch

    This is one of those conversations that goes everywhere — rugby war stories, music industry chaos, drug policy, fatherhood, hormones, hair transplants, and the uncomfortable truth that being very good at performing doesn't automatically make you good at business. Haskell is funnier, more self-aware, and more switched-on than most people give him credit for — and this is the version of him you don't usually get to see.
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  • The Problem With...

    The Problem With Trying to Feel Better: Dr Julie Smith

    31/03/2026 | 1h 18 mins.
    Dr Julie Smith joins James Smith for a wide-ranging conversation on the psychology of emotion, mental health, and what it really means to feel better. A clinical psychologist and international bestselling author, Dr Smith dismantles the idea that difficult emotions are problems to be solved and challenges James on everything from catastrophising and shame-based motivation to the surprising emotional cost of success.

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    Dr Julie Smith's YouTube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/@DrJulie

    Dr Julie Smith On Instagram –https://www.instagram.com/drjulie/

    James opens up about his experience of lockdown, being cut off from Australia, the relief (not happiness) of hitting major milestones, and why he uses financial goals as a psychological permission slip to keep overworking.

    She explains:

    ◼️ Why wanting to feel better is sometimes part of the problem

    ◼️ How to recognise when distress is situational vs something deeper

    ◼️ The double standard we apply to ourselves vs others

    ◼️ Why self-compassion isn't weakness (it's the harder skill)

    ◼️ What status loss does to mental health and identity

    Chapters:

    00:00 The Problem With Trying to Feel Better

    04:20 When Anxiety Means You're a Good Parent

    07:23 Is Low Mood Situational or Something Deeper?

    12:10 When Should You Actually Get Therapy?

    13:52 James Being Locked Out of Australia

    15:36 Not Feeling Like You Qualify for Help

    17:34 The Workaholics Trap and Honest Feedback

    18:45 Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy — Where Does Dr Smith Stand?

    20:23 James's LSD Day in the Park

    21:49 The Periodic Table of Emotions

    27:12 Vulnerability, Fatherhood and Opening Up

    29:08 Redefining Success Beyond the Metrics

    32:26 Giving Good Advice You Don't Take Yourself

    34:49 Severance and the Work-Life Split

    38:07 The Hidden Cost of Living a Very Public Life

    41:24 When Followers Tell You You've Saved Their Life

    44:28 How a Relationship Changed James's Relationship With Work

    45:13 Status, Mental Health and the Fear of Losing It

    53:01 The Double Standard We Have for Ourselves

    55:42 Using Financial Goals as a Coping Mechanism

    57:28 Catastrophising as Motivation

    01:00:04 Why Every Goal Feels Empty After You Hit It

    01:02:51 Fear of Success vs Fear of Failure

    01:08:30 The Journey Is the Point — Not Just the Outcome

    01:09:18 Sneak Peek: Dr Smith's New Book

    01:10:21 Generational Amnesia and the Young People of Today

    01:15:08 Closing Takeaways: What Actually Helps

    This conversation takes a candid look at the psychology behind overwork, the emotional emptiness that can follow achievement, and the courage required to actually let people in. Dr Smith's clinical perspective on self-compassion, attachment, and the standards we hold ourselves to offers a grounding counterweight to James's trademark candour — and the result is one of the most honest conversations on mental health the podcast has produced.
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  • The Problem With...

    The Problem With Self Sabotage: Connor Beaton (ManTalks)

    24/03/2026 | 1h 29 mins.
    Connor Beaton joins James Smith to reveal the uncomfortable truth about self-sabotage. Far from being a simple lack of discipline, self-sabotage is a sophisticated survival strategy your brain uses to maintain control. Beaton explains why your psyche would rather choose a familiar disaster over an unfamiliar victory, keeping you locked in a cycle of destructive behavior to protect a fragile sense of identity.

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    They dismantle the myth that dark motivation is a sustainable fuel for success and expose the biological cost of running on shame. From adoption trauma and attachment theory to the high-stakes world of elite performance, this conversation uncovers the invisible weights that stop men from being present in their own lives.

    He explains:

    ◼️ Why your brain actively avoids healthy new habits

    ◼️ How shame-based fuel creates a performance ceiling

    ◼️ What happens when achievement replaces human connection

    ◼️ Why mastery and addiction share the same neurology

    ◼️ How radical transparency prevents relationship resentment

    Chapters:

    00:00 The Psychology of Working With Men

    03:37 The Real Problem With Self-Sabotage

    04:11 Sabotage as a Protective Strategy

    05:37 James’ Experience With Wild Weekends

    07:15 Reinforcing Your Negative Identity

    08:06 Carl Jung and The Shadow

    09:11 Why Your Brain Prefers Familiarity

    11:16 The John Jones Sabotage Pattern

    12:46 Relational Trauma and Attachment Issues

    13:45 Breaking Your Nervous System Set Point

    16:02 George St-Pierre on Real Courage

    17:51 James' Battle With Cognitive Dissonance

    19:52 The Truth About Cocaine Habits

    23:00 High Performers and The Control Trap

    24:18 Dark Motivation: Using Shame as Fuel

    26:42 Why Success Often Feels Empty

    27:23 James’ Story of Adoption and Spite

    30:35 Shifting From Spite to Family

    32:48 Dating Volume and Almond Croissants

    35:43 Healing Trauma Through Your Children

    43:43 Rebuilding Trust and True Intimacy

    47:14 Addiction as an Attachment Issue

    49:33 Mastery vs The Addictive Tendency

    53:07 Learning to Let Go of Control

    57:17 The Dangers of Mental Masturbation

    59:12 Diminished Versions of Yourself

    01:02:14 Learning to Choose Your Regrets

    01:04:02 The Psychological Fear of Retirement

    01:08:40 The Cost of Professional Relevancy

    01:12:19 Communicating Trade-offs in Relationships

    01:15:51 Modern Dating’s Silent Plague

    01:17:46 Re-infusing Choice into Relationships

    01:21:53 Navigating the Psychological Map

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About The Problem With...

The Problem With… isn’t here to give easy answers - it’s here to ask the uncomfortable questions behind today’s biggest trends and taboos. Each week, host James Smith digs into what’s really going on - from AI to wellness culture - through unfiltered chats with experts and insiders to uncover the truth behind the noise.
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