The Lonely Chapter

Most of us are taught how to lead others. Very few of us are taught how to lead ourselves.
In this episode, I sit down with Mary Howe - former US Air Force AC-130 crew member and nurse - to explore the idea of self-leadership and why it might be the skill that changes everything.
Mary shares how growing up in a military family shaped her understanding of strength, service, and responsibility. We talk about her decision to join the Air Force at 18, the structure and purpose she found there, and what it taught her about leading herself - not just performing for others.
We also unpack the military concept of the debrief, and how stepping back from your experiences, extracting lessons, and re-entering with clarity can transform the way you navigate setbacks, burnout, and identity shifts.
Towards the end, we explore self-talk, societal expectations, and the subtle ways many of us are harsher on ourselves than we would ever be on someone we love.
This is a conversation about resilience, identity, and the quieter forms of strength that help you move forward with intention.
Key Themes
→ Why self-leadership is often the missing skill in personal growth
→ The military debrief and how to apply it in everyday life
→ Identity after high-performance environments
→ Resilience vs avoidance
→ Reframing harsh self-talk
→ “Did you give more than you took?” as a guiding question
Connect with Mary:
Substack - https://marykatherinehowe.substack.com
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/_mary.katherinehowe/

Loneliness is becoming one of the defining challenges of modern life. Even in crowded cities and hyper-connected digital spaces, many people quietly feel isolated and unseen.
In this episode, I’m joined by Nini Fritz, a connection and wellbeing facilitator, to explore why loneliness can feel so acute in big cities - and why online connection often fails to meet our deeper human needs.
We talk about the dopamine-driven pull of social media, the illusion of connection it creates, and how easily visibility gets mistaken for belonging. Nini shares why intention matters so much in our relationships, and how small, deliberate choices can help us rebuild real community and connection in everyday life.
This is a thoughtful conversation about modern loneliness, attention, friendship, and what it actually takes to feel connected again - especially in a busy, distracted world.
Takeaways
→ Why hyper-connectivity can increase loneliness rather than reduce it
→ How social media creates the illusion of meaningful connection
→ The difference between being visible and being truly known
→ Why intention matters more than proximity in relationships
→ Practical ways to build genuine connection and community
→ How shared interests can become the foundation for real belonging

Connect with Nini
→ Website: https://www.the-work-happiness-project.com
→ EyeConnect Game: https://www.eyeconnectgame.com
→ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nini-fritz-24404bm23/

After sitting down with nearly 90 people over the last two years, certain patterns keep repeating.
In this solo episode of The Lonely Chapter, I reflect on four observations that sit beneath many of the stories shared on the podcast - not as advice, but as orientation.
We explore:
→ Why insight alone rarely leads to change
→ Why confidence usually follows responsibility, not the other way around
→ Why people regret staying too long more than trying
→ Why struggle is relative, and comparison often keeps us stuck
This podcast is for anyone who feels like they’re doing okay on the surface, but quietly unsure how to live well.
📷 Follow the podcast on Instagram
→ https://www.instagram.com/lonelychapterpodcast/

In this episode of The Lonely Chapter, I’m joined by Chris Barton to explore what happens when societies lose meaningful rites of passage - and why growing up without initiation leaves so many people feeling unprepared for adulthood.
Chris is part of a movement working to restore structured rites of passage for young people, rooted in nature, responsibility, and challenge. He explains how the disappearance of these initiatory experiences in modern Western culture has contributed to confusion around identity, responsibility, and belonging.
We talk about what rites of passage actually are, why they once mattered, and what fills the gap when they disappear. Chris also shares how carefully designed experiences in nature can help young people develop resilience, reflection, and self-trust through responsibility rather than motivation.
This is a thoughtful conversation about growing up, identity, and the quiet cost of removing initiation from modern life.
Expect to learn:
→ What rites of passage are - and what they are not
→ Why the absence of initiation often leads to risky substitutes
→ How nature and challenge build resilience and self-trust
→ The role of mentors and responsibility in development
To learn more about Chris’s work:
→ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildnaturerop
→ Email: [email protected]

In this grounded and challenging conversation, I’m joined by Dakota Meyer, U.S. Marine veteran and Medal of Honor recipient, to explore a simple but confronting truth: nobody is coming to save you.
Dakota explains why personal responsibility sits at the centre of a meaningful life, and how leadership, identity, and fulfilment are built through action rather than intention. We unpack his core principle – risk plus responsibility equals reward – and what it reveals about why so many people feel stuck, lost, or quietly dissatisfied despite doing “all the right things”.
This conversation moves through identity, mental health, resilience, and the role of community, while continually returning to one essential question: are you living in alignment with who you say you are? Dakota speaks candidly about truth, accountability, and the danger of outsourcing responsibility for your life – whether to institutions, labels, or other people.
At its heart, this episode is an invitation to look honestly in the mirror, examine the evidence of your actions, and decide what kind of person you are becoming.
In this episode, we discuss:
→ Why “nobody’s coming to save you” is not cynical, but empowering
→ Dakota’s equation for life: risk + responsibility = reward
→ How identity is shaped by behaviour, not labels or intentions
→ The difference between resilience and avoidance
→ Mental health, accountability, and telling the truth without cruelty
→ What it means to be a “peopleist” – valuing people over titles
→ Why real change always begins with internal decisions and action
Links mentioned in the episode:
Dakota Meyer on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dakotameyer0317/
Dakota’s Substack: https://dakotameyerthebluf.substack.com/