Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri

I am not a fan of the saying “let’s agree to disagree”, it can be so passive aggressive. But it’s the title of Gabrielle Rifkind’s new book and maybe this pass-agg comment deserves an upgrade.

Regular listeners may remember Gabrielle from a podcast we did four years ago called The Delicate Art of Managing Differences. The world has - sadly - become ever more fractured, which trickles down to our every day relationships so who better to get to help us navigate these schisms than Gabrielle who, as well as being a psychotherapist is the founder and director of The Oxford Process, which is a conflict resolution organisation. She’s also an expert in human conflict, and, as a mediator, often goes into war torn areas to reduce tension between warring parties. She’s worked in the Middle East, Asia and Europe. But as we’ll hear she’s not always great at managing conflict in every day life - as she is human!
In this episode we talk about why you can’t agree with everyone, or - annoyingly - get everyone to agree with you. How to manage tricky family or social situations where you’re with someone with really opposing views.

Why that’s not necessary to be friends with someone, or even particularly like them. I know that sometimes I find myself feeling contaminated even just talking to someone with really opposing views, almost as if I’m complicit simply by listening.

We also discuss how to stop a disagreement turning into an argument. And we look at what’s at the heart of most people’s disagreements and need for harmony.
This episode gave me a lot of food for thought and I hope it provides that for you, too.

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.

You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.

Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode was not easy to name. The subject is highly topical, but the take on it is original and thought-provoking.

Alessandra has written her 25th book: ‘Psychotechnical Becomings: Psychoanalysis, Identity, Desire and Mourning in Times of AI and Digital Mediation’. It looks at how technology shapes us, and has changed the way we interact with each other; from being able to tolerate differences and disagreements, to sex and mourning. We look for a frictionless life but is that possible, or even desirable (spoiler alert: no and no)?

This the most ground-breaking podcast I’ve done. And Alessandra’s book will really make you look again at what technology gives but what it also takes away. It’s not a ‘tech is bad’ approach but it will make you really think about who we are and who we’re all becoming.

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.

You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.

Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode I’m in conversation with David Robson. David is an award winning science writer and author of three books, one of which The Laws of Connection, we really delve into here. David graduated from Cambridge university with a maths degree, has worked as features editor at the New Scientist, was a senior journalist at BBC Future and his work has appeared in various newspapers and journals such as The Guardian and The Atlantic.

Loneliness isn’t just a psychological or mental state, it can and does affect our physical state: it’s as bad for our health as smoking. Loneliness can increase the risk of early mortality by a whopping 26%, in part because of the stress associated with feeling lonely. Of course, being alone doesn’t have to equate with feeling lonely and that’s an important distinction to make but studies show that at some point or other, pretty much half of us will report feeling lonely at some time or other with 7% *of the population feeling loneliness pretty much all the time.

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.

You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.

Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr Sophie Behrman is a is a general adult psychiatrist and works in a community mental health team in Oxford. She’s set up an NHS menopause and menstrual disorders clinic, open to women who fit a certain criteria. She’s also edited a book called “Menopause, Menstrual Cycles and Mental Health” which is published by Cambridge University Press in June 2026. In the last series Sophie and I talked about the menopause and its impact on a woman’s brain and in this one we are talking about how the menstrual cycle, and the fluctuation of hormones can affect us physiologically.

We also discuss PMS (premenstrual syndome); PMOS (polyendocrine metabolic ovarian syndrome, what was known as PCOS, polycystic ovary syndrome); PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder), and endometriosis.

Some useful links:

Sophie’s book.

The International Association of Premenstrual Disorders.

The PMDD Project.

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.

You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.

Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I first came across the concept of dissociation when I saw a film called Sybil starring Sally Field and Joanne Woodward. It was about a young woman with multiple personalities. Sybil would dissociate and her various personalities would take over.

I’ve since come to realise dissociation can take place as part of the trauma response.

Here I'm in conversation with Dr Joanne Stubley who is a consultant psychiatrist in psychotherapy with years of experience in the mental health field. She leads the adult section of the trauma service at the NHS Tavistock Centre and is a member of the British Psychoanalytic Society. Jo and I have spoken over quite a few podcasts and a really good companion episode to this one would be the one we did on Trauma.

In this episode Jo and I talk about what dissociation is and how it’s very different to dissassociation. We discuss why it happens - how it’s the brain trying to protect us from highly traumatic events. Dissociation, like many things, is on a spectrum from the every day when we can all zone out, to the very much more serious and complex resulting from severe trauma: dissociative identity disorder or DID which is what the film Sybil was about - and what used to be known as multiple personality disorder.

We also talk about what to do if you suffer from this, with some good grounding techniques.

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.

You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.

Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.