Resilient Kid: Therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens

With Ruby O’Brien
In this episode of The Resilient Kid Podcast, Ashley speaks with an inspiring young leader, Ruby O'Brien and winner of the Womanifest Future Voice Award.
Ruby perfectly represents the heart of this podcast series, Only Takes One Person — because behind her journey is a youth worker who asked two powerful words that changed everything:
“Why not?”
As a young carer growing up in Knowsley, Ruby carried significant responsibility at home and struggled to trust people after a difficult experience in her family. But when a youth worker named Jack encouraged her to step into a youth group and later apply for Youth Parliament, Ruby began to realise something powerful:
Her voice mattered.
Today, Ruby has spent two years representing young people in her role as Youth MP, including speaking in the House of Commons and championing issues that matter to young people, including mental health, education, and community empowerment.
In this conversation, Ruby shares how one person believing in her helped her find the confidence to step forward — and how she now hopes to be that person for other young people.
She also talks about her latest campaign to raise £20,000 for an accessible lift at the Epstein Theatre in Liverpool, after witnessing wheelchair users unable to access the stage at a youth event.
For Ruby, the message is simple:
Accessibility is a right, not an option.
This episode is a powerful reminder that when young people feel heard, supported, and believed in, incredible things can happen.
And sometimes… it only takes one person.
In this episode
Ruby’s journey to becoming Knowsley’s Youth MP

How a youth worker helped her believe in herself

The experience of growing up as a young carer

Finding confidence and using your voice

Ruby’s campaign for accessibility at the Epstein Theatre

Why young people must be heard in decision-making

Ruby’s message to young people
“If you’ve got a dream, go for it. If you fail, that’s not failure — it means you tried.”
A reflection for listeners
Who was the person who believed in you?
The teacher, youth worker, coach, parent, or mentor who saw something in you before you saw it yourself.
Because resilience isn’t built alone.
And sometimes… it only takes one person.
Time Stamps:
00:00 One Person Matters
01:03 Meet Ruby OBrien
02:30 Youth Parliament Mission
04:38 Finding Her Voice
05:38 Jack The Turning Point
08:16 From Fear To Leadership
13:09 Confidence And Purpose
15:37 Accessibility Lift Campaign
20:10 How Adults Can Help
23:50 Whats Next For Ruby
28:31 Gratitude And Closing
Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge:
https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge
Youtube Link: https://youtu.be/Mfoof6Spxck
Spotify Link:
Ruby's Links
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ruby_knowsleymyp
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ruby-o-brien-22a157335
Campaign Link- https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/ruby-obrien-1
Useful Links
Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share
Get “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid
Pinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957
Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello
Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

We often hear the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child.” And while community matters, research consistently shows something powerful: the single greatest protective factor in a child’s life is one stable, supportive adult.
One person who believes in them.
One person who advocates for them.
One person who stays steady when life feels uncertain.
This episode launches a brand-new series on The Resilient Kid Podcast called Only Takes One Person.
Fresh off the stage after winning the Heart of the Community Award, Ashley reflects on the power of advocacy, connection, and the ripple effect one person can have on a life.
In this opening episode, Ashley shares a deeply personal story about her Auntie Vera (Vee) — the woman who stepped in and advocated for her when she was just 21 years old.
After finishing her psychology degree, Ashley had applied for a counselling course, only to be told she was too young to be accepted. While Ashley was travelling in South America, her Auntie Vee received the call from the course professor.
Rather than accepting the decision quietly, Vee stood up for her niece.
She explained the experiences Ashley had already navigated in life — growing up in a multi-generational family, supporting grandparents, and witnessing her father’s mental health struggles — and why those experiences had shaped her desire to help others.
That moment of advocacy changed everything.
Ashley became the youngest person ever accepted onto the course, beginning a journey that has now spanned 30 years of supporting children, families and schools.
But this episode isn’t just about one phone call.
It’s about the profound impact one person can have on a young life.
Whether that person is a parent, teacher, mentor, coach or relative — a single relationship can change a child’s sense of safety, belief, and possibility.
Through The Resilient Kid programme, Ashley and her team hope to be that person for many of the children and families they support.
Because sometimes, the biggest changes begin with the smallest moments of belief.
In this episode, we explore:
Why one supportive adult is the strongest protective factor for children
A personal story about advocacy and opportunity
How belief from others shapes confidence and resilience
Why the work of supporting children is often about showing up consistently
The ripple effect one person can create across a lifetime
A reflection for listeners
Who was the person who believed in you?
A parent, teacher, coach, mentor, grandparent or friend who saw something in you before you fully saw it yourself?
We would love to hear your story.
Because resilience isn’t built in isolation.
It’s built in connection.
And sometimes… it only takes one person.
Coming up next
In the next episode of the series, Ashley will be joined by a special guest who will share the story of their one person and the impact that relationship had on their life.
Time Stamps:
00:00 One Person Matters
01:00 Series Kickoff
01:13 Heart of Community Night
02:34 Why This Series Exists
03:29 Auntie V Advocates
06:22 Bread as Currency
08:28 Coaches and Teachers
10:16 Advocacy in Schools
12:36 Parents Need Allies
14:17 Your Person Reflection
15:44 Closing and Call In
Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge:
https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge
Useful Links
Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share
Get “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid
Pinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957
Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello
Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

The Power of Dads, Community & Connection
With Rob from Davenham & Macclesfield Dads Club
What does it really mean to be a dad in 2026?
In this powerful and heartfelt episode, I’m joined by Rob, founder of Davenham Dads Club and Macclesfield Dads Club, to talk about modern fatherhood, male mental health, and why community matters more than ever.
This isn’t about criticising schools, families, or men.
It’s about recognising the quiet pressure many fathers carry — and why safe spaces to talk are no longer optional. They’re essential.
Drawing from lived experience, community work, and honest conversation, we explore what resilience really looks like for dads — and why confident, regulated adults raise confident, regulated children.
In this episode, we explore:
The quiet loneliness many dads carry
The stigma around men talking about emotions
Miscarriage and dads being “left behind” in grief
Why boys need love, time, and strong role models
The power of roughhousing, play, and presence
How dads build confidence differently
Why regulated adults raise regulated children
How a simple “safe space to talk” is quietly changing lives
Key Takeaway:
Resilience isn’t built in isolation.
It’s built in community.
And sometimes it starts with two hours, once a month.
Who This Episode Is For:
Dads feeling isolated or overwhelmed
Partners who want fathers to feel supported
Parents raising boys who need emotionally healthy male role models
School leaders thinking about community wellbeing
Anyone who believes children deserve emotionally regulated adults around them
If This Episode Resonated
Please consider sharing this episode.
Your shares help these conversations reach the dads who may never ask for help — but deeply need it.
🎧 Share this episode with someone who quietly carries more than they show.
Spotify – Listen here
YouTube – Watch here
Time Stamps:
00:00 What does it mean to be a dad in 2026?
00:58 Meet Rob & The Dads Club Story
02:35 The Soup Pitch & Why Humility Matters
04:12 How Dads Club Started
06:20 The Safe Space in the Pub
08:45 Building a Support Network
11:30 Why Dads Stay Silent
14:02 Miscarriage, Grief & Men Being Left Behind
17:10 Rebuilding Community for Men
19:42 WhatsApp Community Wins
22:05 What Dads Bring to Confidence Building
25:30 Roughhousing, Feral Play & Boundaries
28:40 What Boys Need Most From Dads
32:55 What Rob Hopes His Sons Will Say One Day
35:10 Where to Find Dads Club
37:00 Final Reflections
Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge:
https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge
Rob’s Links
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61586925473953

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/davenham_dads_club/

Email: [email protected]
Useful Links
Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share

Get “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid

Pinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957

Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello

Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

As my youngest turns 16 and prepares for his final year of school, I found myself reflecting on a bigger question:
Are we building systems that nurture who young people are becoming — or are we asking them to constantly adapt to pressure?
In this episode, I explore the growing gap between academic performance structures and emotional wellbeing support in education. This isn’t about criticising schools — far from it. Schools are not failing. They are stretched.
Drawing from our CPD work, Resilient Schools training, and research into teen brain development, I unpack:
Why burnout is showing up younger than ever
Why behaviour often reflects nervous system overload
How performance pressure can narrow creativity
Why belonging is a protective factor for mental health
And what preventative resilience work really looks like
In this episode, we cover:
Why February fatigue is real for children and staff
The neuroscience of teen risk-taking and impulse control
Emotional containment in classrooms
The difference between reactive and preventative support
Why disengagement from education is often a signal, not defiance
The importance of strengthening emotional scaffolding around academic systems
Practical takeaways:
We don’t need to dismantle the education system.
We need to strengthen the emotional scaffolding around it.
Resilience isn’t a “nice to have.”
It’s foundational.
Key reminder:
You are not burning out because you are weak.
You are burning out because you care deeply inside a system that rarely slows down.
The goal is not to care less.
The goal is to protect yourself while you care.
Who This Episode Is For:
Parents navigating anxiety or school-related stress
Teachers carrying emotional load in the classroom
School leaders thinking about whole-school wellbeing
Therapists, coaches, and professionals who feel the gap in support
Anyone who believes young people deserve both achievement and emotional safety
Resources & Support
If this episode resonated with you:
Share it with a school leader or colleague
Start a conversation in your setting about preventative resilience
Or reach out to explore how The Resilient Kid framework could support your community
Because young people don’t just need standards.
They need scaffolding.
Time Stamps:
00:00 Education vs Emotional Wellbeing: The Growing Gap
00:14 A Personal Reflection: Watching My Son Grow Up
01:13 Schools Aren’t Failing—They’re Overstretched
02:14 What Teachers Are Really Doing Now (Beyond Teaching)
04:12 Where’s the Emotional Scaffolding? From Rote Learning to Regulation
05:20 Psychological Safety & the Shock of High School Transition
06:48 Lunch on the Run: The Hidden Stressors Kids ‘Put Up With’
08:05 Reactive vs Preventative: What Teen Brain Science Tells Us
10:38 Creativity, Identity & Why Performance Culture Breaks Kids
12:29 Disengagement & ‘School Refusal’: A Belonging and Safety Issue
14:11 What Needs to Change: Shared Language, Staff Training, Prevention
15:04 A Model That Worked: Preventative Wellbeing in an Abu Dhabi School
16:31 The Resilient Kid Framework: Partnering With Schools to Fill the Gap
17:59 Call to Educators & Helpers: The Gap Is Real—and It’s an Opportunity
19:04 Closing Message: Support Builds Resilience (Not Pressure)
20:07 Thanks for Listening + Get In Touch / Join the Podcast
Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge
https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge
Useful Links
Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share
Get “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid
Pinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957
Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello
Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

The Hidden Emotional Labour of School Staff (And Why It’s Breaking You)🎙️ The Hidden Emotional Labour of School Staff (And Why It’s Breaking You)
Teachers and school staff are walking out of buildings every day completely exhausted — not because the day was dramatic, but because it was relentless.
In this episode, Ashley explores the hidden emotional labour inside schools — the constant co-regulation, emotional containment, and nervous system management that rarely gets acknowledged but leaves staff mentally and physically depleted.
If you’re a teacher, TA, SENCO, pastoral lead, or school-based professional who goes home emotionally drained and unable to switch off, this episode explains why — and what you can do about it.
In this episode, we cover:
What emotional labour in schools really means
Why supporting dysregulated children drains your nervous system
The difference between busy-tired and emotionally exhausted
Why compassionate staff are most at risk of burnout
The difference between empathy and absorbing
Why burnout isn’t weakness — it’s sustained emotional output
Why school staff feel so drained
Supporting children with behaviour, trauma, and regulation needs requires calm tone, steady presence, and emotional containment. Staff regulate multiple nervous systems before reaching their own.
Without space to reset, this creates nervous system overload.
This isn’t about resilience. It’s sustained emotional output without protection.
Practical takeaways:
Separate empathy from absorbing — ask “Is this mine or theirs?”
Close emotional loops after difficult moments
Use short nervous system resets between interactions
Build one low-demand moment into your day
Name the emotional load instead of suppressing it
Create a transition ritual before going home
Key reminder:
You are not burning out because you are weak.
You are burning out because you care deeply in a system that rarely slows down.
The goal isn’t to care less — it’s to protect yourself while you care.
Who This Episode Is For:
Teachers and teaching assistants
SENCOs and pastoral leads
School leaders
School-based professionals working with children
Resources & Support
If you’d like support with emotional regulation, nervous system tools, or CPD for your school, explore Ashley’s work at The Resilient Kid, including workshops, training, and the Resilient Kid Programme.
Visit: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk
If This Episode Helped
Please consider sharing it with a teacher, TA, or school professional who may need to hear they’re not failing — they’re carrying a lot.
🎧 Share this episode with someone who walks out of school exhausted but still deeply cares.
Spotify –
YouTube –
Time Stamps:
00:00 Introduction and Apologies
00:16 Understanding Emotional Labour in Schools
02:29 The Impact on School Staff
03:49 Recognising Burnout
08:26 Managing Emotional Labour
13:24 Transition Rituals
17:57 Final Thoughts
Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge
https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge
Useful Links
Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share
Get “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid
Pinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957
Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello
Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk