Complicated Kids

Autism content is not the same thing as autism science. In this episode, Dr. Theresa Lyons joins me to talk about what it really means to follow the science of autism, and why parents cannot rely on headlines, algorithms, or outdated assumptions when the stakes are this high. Theresa is a Yale trained scientist and autism parent, and she breaks down how peer reviewed research actually moves, how easily it gets distorted, and why it can take 20 to 30 years for scientific conclusions to become common medical practice. We talk about how misinformation spreads online, including research showing that 70% of the most viewed autism videos on TikTok were classified as wrong or over generalized. Theresa explains why credibility does not come from views, and why parents need to get closer to the source, or choose trusted interpreters who do. We also dig into the bigger picture that often gets missed when families are only offered behavioral therapies. Theresa shares how she thinks about risk, genetics, environment, and total load on the body, and why broad buckets like sleep, diet, hydration, and gut health matter when you are trying to support a child. This is a powerful reminder to trust your intuition, be willing to do the work, and stay curious. The goal is not to chase every rabbit hole. The goal is to build clarity, prioritize what matters, and change the trajectory one step at a time. Key Takeaways "Follow the science" should mean peer reviewed publications, not headlines. Theresa explains why going to sources like PubMed, or using trusted interpreters of that research, matters when mainstream summaries can be rushed, incomplete, or wrong. It can take 20 to 30 years for research to reach common practice. That lag matters when your child is five now, not thirty five later, and it is why parents often need to be proactive rather than waiting for systems to catch up. Mainstream media can sound credible while still being misinformation. Theresa shares how even well meaning articles can be based on shallow research done under deadline pressure, which can derail a family's decisions if they are not careful. Online engagement is not the same thing as accuracy. Research discussed in this episode found that 70% of top autism videos on TikTok were classified as wrong or over generalized, which is a wake up call about where many families are getting "education." Parents have to balance curiosity with discernment. The goal is not to chase everything. The goal is to build enough scientific literacy to ask better questions, recognize weak claims, and avoid fruitless rabbit holes. Autism is diagnosed through observation, which can hide the "why" underneath. Theresa explains how biology, chemistry, and health factors can be missed until developmental delays become obvious, and then families are left sorting out root contributors after the fact. Broad health buckets deserve attention alongside therapies. Sleep, hydration, digestion, and diet can meaningfully affect regulation and behavior, and Theresa points out that these basics are often dismissed as "just autism" when they deserve real investigation. Diet interventions require clarity about goals and consistency. Theresa discusses why families need to identify symptoms first, understand mechanisms like gut permeability and immune load, and avoid comparing "partial" changes to results from structured clinical trials. Risk is complex because genetics and environment interact. Theresa describes why research often speaks in terms of increased risk rather than simple causation, and why what is relevant depends on the individual child's context. Trust your intuition and commit to the long game. Theresa's closing message is that change is like turning a boat. It takes effort and time, but a parent's willingness to learn and keep going can meaningfully change a child's trajectory. .About Theresa Lyons Dr. Theresa Lyons is an international autism educator, Ivy League scientist, and autism parent. She holds a PhD in computational chemistry from Yale University and previously worked in the pharmaceutical industry in research and development and as a medical strategist. After her daughter was diagnosed with autism, she applied her scientific training to understanding autism research and now teaches parents how to navigate the science with clarity and confidence. She is the founder of Navigating AWEtism, a platform designed to turn autism complexity into clarity by organizing scientific information and making it accessible and actionable for families. Through her work, she has supported parents in 21 plus countries and reaches a growing global audience through years of science backed education on YouTube and social media. About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet I'm Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home. Complicated Kids Resources and Links: 🌎 www.gabrielenicolet.com 📅 Schedule a free intro call: https://calendly.com/gabrielenicolet/free-15-minute-1-1-session 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@complicatedkids/featured 👾 Grab Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids): https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/tell-the-story ➡️ Instagram: http://instagram.com/gabriele_nicolet ➡️ Facebook: http://facebook.com/gabriele.nicolet ➡️ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gabrielenicolet/ 🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist: https://www.raisingorchidkids.com/orchid-kid-check-list-sign-up/ Enjoying the show? If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show—and it means a lot. If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, you can always reach out at [email protected]. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family. Thank you for being here. 💛

Play is where development lives, even when it looks simple, repetitive, or messy. In this conversation, Annamarie von Firley joins me to unpack why play is essential to early brain development and why children need hands-on experiences far more than screens, flashcards, or noisy battery powered toys. We talk about how babies learn to operate their bodies, how repetition builds neural connections, and why dumping, filling, banging, sorting, and mouthing objects are critical stages of growth. Annamarie explains how the brain develops most rapidly from birth to age three, why fine motor and sensory experiences support later skills like writing and speech, and how intrinsic motivation is built when children are allowed to explore without constant adult direction. We also discuss toy safety, developmental appropriateness, and how parents can use everyday items at home to support learning without spending more money. This episode is a grounding reminder that play is not indulgent, chaotic, or optional. It is the work of childhood. Key Takeaways Play is how children build their brains, not something they do after learning is finished. Movement, repetition, and exploration are the engines of development. Most brain development happens before age three, making early play experiences critical for later learning, regulation, and coordination. Children learn by using their bodies, not by watching others perform tasks for them. Passive screen time does not build the same neural connections. Fine motor play supports later skills like writing, feeding, and speech. Touching, grasping, pinching, and manipulating objects matters. Repetition is not boredom. It is mastery. Children repeat actions because their brains are wiring new connections. Intrinsic motivation grows when children are allowed to explore freely without constant instruction, correction, or performance pressure. Everyday household items can be powerful developmental tools. Pots, lids, spoons, containers, and boxes often support richer learning than complex toys. Noisy, battery operated toys are often overstimulating and unnecessary, especially for children under three. Play engages multiple senses at once, which strengthens memory, learning, and emotional regulation. When play is treated as essential rather than optional, children gain confidence, curiosity, and a stronger foundation for lifelong learning.   About Annamarie von Firley (LIBSYN) Annamarie von Firley is the founder of Adventure Town Toy Emporium and Fledglings Flight, both rooted in the belief that play is essential to healthy child development. With a BA in Wooden Toy Design and Construction and a BFA in Furniture Design, she brings a unique combination of design expertise and deep knowledge of how children learn through movement, repetition, and sensory exploration. After more than 20 years owning and operating her fashion house, reVamp, Annamarie returned to her roots in toy design and child development. In 2016, she founded Adventure Town Toy Emporium to curate and create toys that support curiosity, creativity, and developmental growth. During the pandemic, recognizing the developmental risks facing babies and toddlers born during lockdowns, she launched Fledglings Flight. The platform combines a play based app, customized subscription boxes, and expert informed guidance developed alongside pediatric occupational therapists, speech therapists, and child neurologists to help parents support early development through simple, hands on play. About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet I'm Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home. Complicated Kids Resources and Links: 🌎 www.gabrielenicolet.com 📅 Schedule a free intro call: https://calendly.com/gabrielenicolet/free-15-minute-1-1-session 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@complicatedkids/featured 👾 Grab Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids): https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/tell-the-story ➡️ Instagram: http://instagram.com/gabriele_nicolet ➡️ Facebook: http://facebook.com/gabriele.nicolet ➡️ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gabrielenicolet/ 🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist: https://www.raisingorchidkids.com/orchid-kid-check-list-sign-up/ Enjoying the show? If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show—and it means a lot. If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, you can always reach out at [email protected]. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family. Thank you for being here. 💛

Trouble ensues when we avoid saying what we actually need and expect the people we love to just know. In this episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with Kati Morton—licensed marriage and family therapist and longtime mental health educator—to talk about why clear, direct communication isn't just a "nice-to-have," but a skill that can change relationships and, in some cases, save them. We dig into why so many of us avoid saying what we actually need, how resentment builds when we expect others to read our minds, and why discomfort isn't something to run from—but something to move through. Kati breaks down what clear communication really looks like in adult relationships, including when not to communicate (no trauma dumping), how to ask for help without blame, and what to do when you've spoken up and nothing changes. We also explore the DEAR MAN framework, how people-pleasing and control sneak into everyday interactions, and why letting someone help "the wrong way" is often better than doing everything alone. This conversation is especially relevant for parents—particularly those raising complicated kids—because when our adult relationships are strained, unsupported, or full of unspoken expectations, that stress shows up everywhere. Clear communication doesn't make relationships perfect, but it does make them more honest, more resilient, and more human. If you've ever thought, "Why do I keep doing this?" or felt stuck between staying silent and saying too much, this episode will feel grounding, validating, and surprisingly practical. Key Takeaways Clear, direct communication reduces resentment and helps relationships function with more trust and stability over time. Unspoken expectations often lead to burnout because others cannot meet needs they don't know exist. Asking for support works best when it's specific, timely, and framed around your own experience rather than blame. Children should never be responsible for regulating or carrying adult emotional needs, even when transparency is important. Choosing the right moment to communicate matters just as much as the words being used. The DEAR MAN framework offers a practical structure for asking for change without escalating conflict or defensiveness. A single attempt at communication doesn't always change patterns; consistency and clarity are often required. Accepting help means allowing others to do things differently—and tolerating imperfection in the process. Discomfort is a necessary part of growth and often signals an opportunity to strengthen connection rather than avoid it. Difficult conversations, when handled with care, frequently deepen relationships instead of damaging them. About Kati Morton Kati Morton is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in eating disorders and self-injury. She has been creating mental health education content since 2011 and is widely known for translating complex psychological concepts into practical, real-world tools. About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet I'm Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home. Complicated Kids Resources and Links: 🌎 www.gabrielenicolet.com 📅 Schedule a free intro call: https://calendly.com/gabrielenicolet/free-15-minute-1-1-session 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@complicatedkids/featured 👾 Grab Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids): https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/tell-the-story ➡️ Instagram: http://instagram.com/gabriele_nicolet ➡️ Facebook: http://facebook.com/gabriele.nicolet ➡️ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gabrielenicolet/ 🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist: https://www.raisingorchidkids.com/orchid-kid-check-list-sign-up/ Enjoying the show? If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show—and it means a lot. If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, you can always reach out at [email protected]. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family. Thank you for being here. 💛

"Listening is fixing: what anxious teens wish their parents knew." In this episode of Complicated Kids, I talk with therapist and author Sophia Galano about what teenage anxiety actually looks like—and why it's so easy for even the most caring parents to miss. Sophia explains that teens are not expert communicators; their distress often shows up as irritability, withdrawal, "attitude," or "teen angst," and can be brushed off as a phase when it's really a cry for help. We dig into the difference between everyday worry and clinically significant anxiety, and how to look at both how often anxiety shows up and how much it impacts daily life: school, sleep, friendships, appetite, and basic functioning. From there, we explore one of the core traps for parents—rushing in with solutions ("Have you tried meditating?" "Just go for a walk.") instead of sitting with their teen's feelings. Sophia offers a gentle but powerful reframe: active listening is not doing nothing. It's an intervention that helps teens feel seen instead of "fixed." We also talk about parents' distress tolerance—how hard it is to watch your child suffer, and how quickly that can push you into fix-it mode for your relief, not theirs. Sophia shares why parents need (and deserve) their own support, how to model boundaries ("I want to hear this, but I'm too fried right now—can we talk at X time?"), and why that kind of honesty teaches teens to care for their own capacity too. Finally, Sophia walks through holistic supports—from sleep, movement, and time outside to different therapy modalities beyond traditional talk therapy—so families can build a web of support around their anxious teen. Key Takeaways: Anxiety is a natural human emotion—it becomes a problem when it shows up frequently and starts to interfere with daily life (school, friendships, sleep, basic functioning). Teens are not expert communicators. Their anxiety often looks like irritability, withdrawal, "attitude," or "teen angst," and can easily be misunderstood or dismissed. When you're trying to figure out "Is this anxiety a problem?", look at both how often it happens and how much it affects their quality of life. Parents are often right that strategies like sleep, exercise, or meditation would help—but leading with solutions can make teens feel dismissed or unseen. "Listening is fixing." Validating and staying with your teen's feelings is not passive; it's an active intervention that reduces shame and builds trust. A lot of "I need to fix this now" energy comes from the parent's own distress. Your anxiety about their anxiety is real—and deserves its own care and support. It's okay to set boundaries around capacity: "I really want to hear this, and I also need 30 minutes so I can be fully present with you." That models healthy self-respect for your teen. Not all therapy has to look like sitting in a room talking. Teens may connect more with art therapy, drama therapy, movement-based work, coaching, or body-based modalities. Beyond therapy, it's important to consider sleep, nutrition, movement, time outside, and screen habits as part of an anxious teen's support plan. Parents don't need to be perfect. Self-compassion, repair after hard moments, and willingness to keep showing up are more important than getting it "right" every time. About Sophia Galano Sophia Galano, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and author who has spent over a decade working with teens and adults across residential, inpatient, outpatient, medical, and educational settings. Now in private practice, she specializes in anxiety and supports both adolescents and the caregivers who love them. In addition to her clinical work and supervision of associate therapists, Sophia is a certified yoga instructor and Master Reiki Practitioner, bringing a holistic, mind-body perspective to healing. Her first book, Calming Teenage Anxiety: A Parent's Guide to Helping Your Teen Cope With Worry, published October 7, 2025. About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet I'm Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home. Complicated Kids Resources and Links 🌎 www.gabrielenicolet.com 📅 Schedule a free intro call: https://calendly.com/gabrielenicolet/free-15-minute-1-1-session 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@complicatedkids/featured 👾 Grab Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids): https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/tell-the-story ➡️ Instagram: https://instagram.com/gabriele_nicolet ➡️ Facebook: https://facebook.com/gabriele.nicolet ➡️ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gabrielenicolet/ 🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist: https://www.raisingorchidkids.com/orchid-kid-check-list-sign-up/ Enjoying the show? If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show—and it means a lot. If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, you can always reach out at [email protected]. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family. Thank you for being here. 💛

Could a common gene variant be quietly clogging the system for you or your child? In this episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with holistic academic coach Elyse Dworin to talk about the MTHFR gene—what it is, what it does, and why it matters for neurodivergent kids and their parents. Elyse explains, in plain language, how this gene helps the body process folate, manage toxins, and regulate inflammation—and what can happen when a mutation plus a modern "enriched" diet start to overload the system. We get into her personal story of brain fog, gut issues, anxiety, and years of "IBS" labels before testing finally revealed toxic levels of heavy metals, sky-high folic acid, and an MTHFR mutation. From there, we talk about what families can actually do: shifting away from processed and fortified foods, choosing methylated vitamins, supporting detox with a knowledgeable provider, and paying attention to how our bodies respond. We also zoom out to the bigger picture—how food, sleep, movement, medications, environment, and nervous system sensitivity all weave together. And because this is Complicated Kids, we talk about what this looks like in real life with real kids: the Halloween candy, the Goldfish, the push-pull of autonomy, and how to work toward balance without turning food into a power struggle. Key Takeaways: The MTHFR gene is involved in repairing DNA, managing homocysteine, recycling antioxidants, and helping the body process toxins and allergens. There are common MTHFR variants; when present, especially alongside high folic acid intake, they can contribute to issues like brain fog, anxiety, ADHD-like symptoms, and mood challenges. Folic acid (synthetic) is not the same as folate (naturally found in leafy greens), and people with MTHFR mutations may not process folic acid well. "Enriched" or "fortified" on ingredient labels usually means folic acid has been added—common in many flours, cereals, and boxed foods. Over time, unprocessed folic acid and toxins can "clog the drain," leading to overload in the system rather than smooth detox and regulation. Testing with a holistic or functional provider can help identify MTHFR mutations, heavy metal loads, and vitamin/mineral imbalances. Detox protocols should always be done under medical supervision, because releasing too many stored toxins at once can overwhelm the body. Practical support often includes shifting toward whole foods, adding leafy greens, and using methylated B vitamins instead of standard multivitamins. Behavior is communication—sometimes emotional, sometimes physical—and can be a clue that something in the body isn't working well. With kids, especially tweens and teens, education, moderation, and collaboration usually work better than restriction and force when it comes to food. Learning to tune into your own body (and helping kids tune into theirs) is a powerful lifelong skill that supports focus, mood, and resilience. About Elyse Dworin Elyse Dworin is the founder of Elevated Learning Solutions, a holistic academic support practice that helps students thrive by understanding not only how they learn best, but also what supports their bodies and brains to function at their best. Drawing on her strong background in math and dual degrees in Special Education and Exceptional Learners, she blends academic instruction with metacognition, executive functioning support, study skills, and social-emotional strategies. Elyse also coaches parents to better understand their child's learning profile and build realistic, compassionate supports at home. She lives in Germantown with her husband and two young children. About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet I'm Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home. Complicated Kids Resources and Links 🌎 www.gabrielenicolet.com 📅 Schedule a free intro call: https://calendly.com/gabrielenicolet/free-15-minute-1-1-session 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@complicatedkids/featured 👾 Grab Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids): https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/tell-the-story ➡️ Instagram: https://instagram.com/gabriele_nicolet ➡️ Facebook: https://facebook.com/gabriele.nicolet ➡️ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gabrielenicolet/ 🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist: https://www.raisingorchidkids.com/orchid-kid-check-list-sign-up/ Enjoying the show? If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show—and it means a lot. If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, you can always reach out at [email protected]. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family. Thank you for being here. 💛