Equal-ish

We often talk about the mental load, emotional labour, and the systems that keep families stuck in unequal patterns. But what happens after awareness?
In this Equal-ish Edit, Kate and Rachel reflect on their recent conversations with Laura Danger (Ep 41), Steve Cardwell (Ep 42) and Natalie Costa (Ep 43), exploring the gap between knowing and doing. Why do couples who value equality still end up in unequal dynamics? Why is awareness only the starting point? And what skills are we missing at home that organisations spend millions teaching at work?
The conversation dives into the role of trust, communication, emotional intelligence, leadership skills and habit formation in creating stronger partnerships. They also explore why letting go feels so risky, why vulnerability is essential for growth, and whether we need to rethink how we prepare people for relationships, parenting and family life.
Plus, they share their thoughts on the new film Breadwinner and ask whether popular culture is still stuck telling outdated stories about fathers, mothers and family life.
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

What if the most important parenting skill isn't discipline, communication, or even patience, but emotional fitness?
In this episode, Kate and Rachel sit down with parenting coach and emotional fitness expert Natalie Costa to explore how our relationship with emotions shapes everything from our parenting to our partnerships.
Natalie explains why so many adults struggle to navigate difficult emotions, how emotional patterns are passed down through generations, and why resilience isn't about avoiding feelings, it's about learning to move forward with them.
We dive into the invisible emotional labour that often falls to mothers, why many fathers have never been taught the emotional skills modern parenting requires, and practical ways couples can create a more emotionally connected family culture together.
You'll also hear why repair matters more than perfection, how to help children develop emotional security, and the powerful reminder that every child needs to hear:
"You are easy to love."
Whether you're raising toddlers, teens, or simply trying to break old patterns in your own family, this conversation offers practical tools and reassuring wisdom for becoming the steady parent your children need.
What emotional fitness actually means

Why happiness shouldn't be the ultimate parenting goal

The connection between emotional awareness and resilience

How emotional patterns are inherited across generations

The invisible emotional labour carried by many mothers

Helping fathers build emotional confidence and connection

Why repair is more important than getting it right

How to raise emotionally secure children without striving for perfection

Meet Natalie Costa:https://nataliecosta.co.uk 
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

For today's fathers, the expectations have changed.
Men are no longer expected to simply provide financially. They are expected to be present, emotionally engaged, active parents while still succeeding at work and somehow finding time for themselves too.
But what happens when all of those demands collide?
In this thought-provoking conversation, Rachel and Kate sit down with Deliberate Dad founder Steve Cardwell to explore what it means to be an ambitious father in a world where the rules of parenting are changing faster than the systems around us.
Steve shares his philosophy of being a "deliberate dad"—someone who consciously chooses how to spend their time, energy and attention rather than living on autopilot. Together they unpack guilt, mental load, workplace expectations, partnership dynamics, self-care, and the pressure to excel in every area of life.
The conversation explores why so many fathers feel pulled between work and home, why agency matters more than perfection, and how couples can define their own version of equality rather than chasing impossible standards.
Along the way, Rachel, Kate and Steve wrestle with some of the biggest questions facing modern parents:
Can you really have it all?
What sacrifices are unavoidable?
How do we model healthy fatherhood for the next generation?
And what happens when being a "good parent" looks very different from the image social media keeps selling us?
A nuanced conversation about ambition, agency, equality, and the realities of parenting in today's world.
Meet Steve Cardwell: https://deliberate.dad/ 
https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevedeliberatedad/
https://www.instagram.com/deliberatedad_ 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

We are all familiar with the jokes.
The exhausted mum carrying everything.The lovable but clueless dad.The wife who nags.The husband who "helps."
But what if the jokes aren't harmless?
This week Rachel and Kate are joined by Laura Danger, author of No More Mediocre, to explore the hidden relationship dynamics that have been normalised for generations.
Laura shares how a flood of "couples comedy" videos during the pandemic sparked her now-famous work on the mental load, weaponized incompetence, and what she calls the "nag paradox", the exhausting cycle where one partner carries the responsibility, then gets blamed for managing it.
Together we unpack:
Why so many unequal relationships feel "normal"

The hidden emotional cost of being indispensable

Why progressive couples often struggle behind closed doors

How social media is changing the conversation around the mental load

The fear that comes with demanding more from your relationship

Why changing your relationship means accepting that things will be different

This isn't a conversation about blaming men or women.
It's a conversation about questioning the stories we've inherited, challenging what we've accepted as inevitable, and asking whether "good enough" is really good enough.
Because maybe the goal isn't perfection. Maybe it's refusing to settle for mediocre.
Find out more about Laura at www.lauradanger.com, and on Instagram @thatdarnchat
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this Equal-ish Edit, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino reflect on the last three powerful conversations with: Professor Leah Ruppanner (ep 36 & 37) on redefining the mental load, Dr. Taveeshi Gupta (ep 38) on the global state of fatherhood, and Danny Mercer (ep 39) on life as an at-home dad.
Together, they unpack one huge question: if men increasingly say they want to care more, why are so many families still stuck in unequal systems?
This episode explores:
Why caregiving is still culturally coded as “women’s work”
How workplaces continue to shape parenting roles
The mental load beyond motherhood and domestic labour
The invisible pressure many fathers carry as providers
Why modern parenting feels so isolating and overwhelming
The role community, vulnerability and systems change play in creating more equal families
It’s an honest, emotional and deeply nuanced conversation about the tension many families live inside every day: wanting equality, while operating inside systems that make it incredibly hard to achieve.
And in one particularly moving moment, Kate reflects on the simple but powerful truth many parents need most: not solutions, just someone willing to listen.
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.