Konnected Minds Podcast

From the dangerous mindset that women initiate divorces because they get in there and discover comfort is not just about money to the revolutionary truth that they want time, attention, affection, and a number of things beyond financial provision, and why the brutal truth about why divorces skyrocket is that men don't understand that male and female are wired differently so even when the provision is needed and appreciated, if you do not want to become a victim you've got to come up with a shared vision of what kind of family do we want to be, what kind of legacy do we want to create, what kind of inheritance do we want to give our children, are we going to raise survivors or dynasties, the deep conversations around these areas that make a woman know she's not coming into a situation of unilateral decision making when it comes to finances but based on these parameters and a common shared vision, the realization that divorce will really try to be a thing of the past when communication is prioritized but most times divorce comes as a result of the fact that not much is communicated and you just take what you see without engaging on the modalities that make the person feel a part of it, the brilliant question that takes us back to shared vision: should the woman support the business to allow the family to build a legacy or should she do her own thing, the reality that not many women will come into the life of a man who has clarity with regards to where they are headed as a business wanting to expand and build a dynasty unless you've communicated with your wife, the lunch of information that stops women from joining forces because she stumbled on stories that some woman supported a husband and at the end she was thrown out or the mother was thrown out, the effect of upbringing and what she saw that creates premonitions making her unwilling to support based on antecedents, the slice on the husband to bring her to a place where she understands that whatever produced her good or bad is not what is going to be the outcome of who we are, the balance where the man asks about her dreams and aspirations no matter how small because God never created any junk so he believes she has dreams and can encourage her to do something on the side that will bring the best of her out, the peace that reigns when it's not just the woman coming to support the agenda of the man which is 100% good but seeing a man who is also interested in digging deep into who she is and trying to bring her out so that in supporting him her dreams are not dead, the women who completely ignore the fact that they were supposed to come and support and encourage because they feel left out when limited information comes and they feel a sense of threat that oh my god I don't think I'm a part of what is going on, the wisdom that nobody is really wired a certain way, it's the effect of upbringing, effect of environment, and significant emotional experiences that contribute to who you ultimately have as a support base or as a counterproductive human, the football analogy where there's nothing like competition when we have the winning team but how do you have a winning team when everyone has got their dreams and aspirations, the quality of players where competition is knocked out when two partners come to a place of knowing the quality of their lives, and if they cannot fish it out themselves they pay professional help to bring them to the place where they know, the potential wife that will support you so much but if you do not dig you may not know whether she was raised in a home that was dysfunctional and even though she tries to put up a front there will be triggers that will make her go back to her upbringing and the things she saw which you may not even know,

Guest: Mama Cathy

Host: Derrick Abaitey

From the dangerous mindset of sizing people based on physique and six packs to the revolutionary truth that nobody will remember you for your work achievements more than family and the children that carry the legacy, and why the brutal truth about marriage longevity is that the older generation had a level of tolerance the younger generation doesn't have because younger people are not ready to put in so much and leave when they're not happy when happiness is not a gift that comes in a breath of gold but something you work out with a threshold of patience, the powerful manifesto every couple needs before engaging: a blueprint, a working document that maps out where you want to see your marriage on your 10th anniversary covering finances, children's upbringing, career, spirituality, sex, everything so you don't marry blindly and walk into it without direction, the woman's perspective that values transparency, honesty, truthfulness, faithfulness as four words describing one thing because faithfulness means you are faithful to me and not cheating unless the woman didn't love you and you have somebody outside and it's only psychoning from you to fix the one she's interested in, the 33 years plus of marriage proving that date night and spending quality time means so much to a woman who wants a man whose presence they can feel, the revolutionary advice that most women choose men they can allow themselves to respect because a man is wired for respect as their greatest desire and love language, the capital letters warning to never marry a man you cannot respect because no man wants to marry another man and your intuitiveness as a woman should be mixed with humility because men are logical and don't want to be challenged even if you have a point to make, the realization that you can say good morning and it means good morning or you can say good morning and it means disrespect so if a woman wants their marriage to work and have the man feel like the man in the home give that man respect, the marriages that are not really getting better because the younger generation doesn't have the tolerance older generations had and are not ready to put in work, the happiness trap where everybody thinks if there's no happiness we work out when if everybody is working out what will be left of this institution, the early years of marriage being the most challenging season filled with expectations that get smashed coupled with raising children when you have a husband that is extremely intelligent, hardworking, and out there achieving so much but wasn't really available and you hadn't planned for the lack of availability, the seven years with four children that was big challenging but they set out, understood themselves, and gave him the space to become the best thing he was, the endurance through eight years that was a bit unstable and then started settling in bringing them to a season where father is seven on earth, the other couples whose early years are thrilling and then suddenly something strikes and the storm comes in and you compare the past and the present discovering the early years were extremely smooth but now you're in this challenging and testing season, the sitting back now to say I bless God for everything that happened because it brought the best out of us, the secret to surviving your early years of marriage, and why the ultimate truth is this: stop sizing people based on physique and six packs because that six packs man can put you in grief tomorrow and that lady that is like an angel that got missing from heaven can send you to an early grave, beauty is good and six packs is good but you should slow it down and promise yourself that you receive family that in the midst of the confusion and chaos in the world you will stand out.

Guest: Mama Cathy

Host: Derrick Abaitey

From the husband who wants to check out because his wife nags and doesn't reason with him to the revolutionary truth that every person has a melting point that determines who they ultimately become, and why the brutal truth about why marriages collapse is that we spend years learning careers like medicine and law but expect to master marriage in six months when the microwave mindset of competing with AI and technology will never work in relationship, the wisdom that nothing good comes easy and if we want to fix society we must be willing to pay the price to reorder and rewrite the storylines, the realization that most families have broken people terribly and immensely but it's only the clothes that cover their idiosyncrasies, the challenge to the younger generation that you may have been broken in the family you come from but you mustn't repeat the cycle, the warning that if you haven't looked critically at how to affect the things in your childhood you wish had not happened you're going to give a double dose of that to your children, the dangerous reality that some ladies picture an image of a husband as just an ATM machine which is a very faulty and erroneous mindset to have, the call to raise daughters who would not think like that by looking frantically for whoever can take you through psychometric analysis that can tell you about you beyond you to clean the contents of water that had been infiltrated and corrupted, the powerful statement that women don't just blame the ladies, blame fatherhood because the woman is created by God to draw inspiration from the father, the message to present fathers to bless your daughters and look for a woman you can trust to help the process of healing and restoration, the quantum reality check that helps discover the reason why a person is the way the person is because nobody is created to be a nag or irresponsible, something was broken somewhere, the woman who nags because her husband never listens to her and really hears her out, never pays attention when she's talking so she forces him to hear what she's saying without knowing that men are not wired to handle nagging attitudes, the man who goes or complains that she doesn't reason with him and even when he wants to have a conversation it doesn't really happen so he's lost the desire to even sleep with her and is checking out, the question that determines the next line of action: what effort have you made to seek help for both of you, the wisdom that nobody has monopoly of knowledge and you may be excellent at your work and business but you may not know everything when it comes to relationship, the realization that there is no situation that cannot be handled and made better when it comes to these dysfunctionalities if you're willing to pay the price and say I want to marry right, I want to have my marriage work, I want to be a blessing to my partner, the revolutionary belief that we are not also willing to pay the price to fix the family institution and the responsibility raised on the head of the male because they are the heads but the neck turns the head, the neck that you allow to be dysfunctional will tell you the wrong direction so why don't you fix the neck, the critical truth that the content must be sorted out before marriage not six months after you thought you knew them because will you practice medicine or law just by being exposed to tutelage in two months or six months when careers require years of exposure, the challenge that this generation wants to bring microwave mindsets into relationship.

Guest: Mama Cathy

Host: Derrick Abaitey

From coming into marriage as a fresh graduate with zero income to 33 years of partnership built on redefining contribution beyond money, and why the brutal truth about why 40% of marriages fail because of finances is that couples limit provision to just the person bringing in monetary means when domestic needs, spiritual assignments, and taking care of children are resources that cannot be quantified but amount to so much, the young bride who wasn't working so her husband was really the one in charge of providing finances but there was no control or superiority because in those times there were no televisions giving so much information about relationship struggles, no telephones, no influence, so information was limited making it easier to respect what each partner brought to the table, the realization that if you don't redefine contribution you destabilize the equation of marriage because the person not bringing in money may feel dehumanized and brought to a level where they feel inferior and not needed, the candid admission that no matter how the other partner tries to make you happy you still feel you could have been better off if you had your own money because of the value society places on money, the wisdom that money is not the only parameter that makes marriage work because there's somebody taking care of domestic needs which might not be quantified monetarily but it's something, somebody taking care of spiritual assignments praying for the family to thrive and succeed, somebody taking care of children which you don't quantify in monetary terms but somebody does that, the husband who recognized that even though she wasn't gainfully employed she was taking care of the home front so there was equal balancing out of what each brought to the table, the respect and management that meant she wasn't scrambling for leftover bread crumbs which happens when people in control of money in a particular season do not value what the other partner brings in, the generational difference where married couples in the past didn't have much marriage counseling and you married based on connection socially or spiritually, where in the context of Christianity once you were Christian you were open to marrying another person who said they were Christian, the modern reality where younger generations must know it's not only money but other things that matter, the ladies who picture an image of a husband as just an ATM machine when marriage requires seeing the full picture of contribution, the statistic that women initiate divorces the most because they get in there and discover the reality doesn't match the picture, the question of whether marriages get better or worse after 33 years, the debate about whether if you contribute 50% of your salary to the family and I do 50% should I also help you in bathing the children and cooking, the principle that men should also support their women not just in the home but in business, the wisdom that in your view if a man starts a business the woman should support it not just do her own thing because the quality of the players in marriage determines whether you seek competition or collaboration.

Guest: Mama Cathy

Host: Derrick Abaitey

From the dangerous mindset that no one is coming to save you to the revolutionary truth that when you realize at age 12 or 13 that your entire family is waiting for someone else to rescue them you get an awakening that changes everything, and why the brutal truth about becoming a millionaire at 25 and losing it all by 27 is that the first thing that comes to an average Ghanaian person's mind when given an opportunity in business is steal. A deep conversation about the mindset of success with Christian Amoh

Guest: Christian Zen Amoh

Company - Ohemaa Rice

Host: Derrick Abaitey

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YT: https://www.youtube.com/@DerrickAbaitey

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