S1 E5 When We Lose It
We all have those moments we wish we could take back — the words said too sharply, the door closed a little too hard, the sigh that carried more weight than we meant.In this episode of Nurture, we explore what happens when things between us and our children break down — and why that breakdown, or rupture, isn’t the end of the story. In fact, it’s a vital part of the work of relationship.I share a personal story from one of those “not my best self” days — a moment that spiralled from stress, exhaustion, and a nap time gone wrong — and the shame that followed. Together, we look at what the research tells us about rupture, why it feels so big in our nervous systems, and how we can find our way back to connection through repair.We’ll talk about why conflict is unavoidable in close relationships, why “just stay calm” isn’t realistic (or fair), and how to begin normalising these imperfect moments — without excusing hurt or skipping over repair. This isn’t about avoiding conflict, but about making repair one of the most sacred parts of parenting.And because real life is rarely tidy, we also explore:* Why perfect attunement is impossible (and unnecessary)* How our own attachment histories shape our reactions to conflict* What repair actually looks like — and why it matters more than getting it right in the first place* Why rupture and repair can look different in neurodivergent families* How to hold both your child’s needs and your own without falling into self-sacrificeIf you’ve ever worried you’ve “damaged” your relationship with your child because of a hard moment — I hope this episode gives you the science, the stories, and the compassion to see it differently.💛 You are not failing. You are human. And you can always repair.Resources mentioned:* 📝 Episode Summary + Reflection Prompts* 📲 Lockscreen Reminders for Middle-of-the-Night MomentsConnect with Emma:For more gentle reminders, real-life reflections, and honest conversations about parenting, sleep, and everything in between — come say hi over on Instagram: @themotheringpsychologistTo receive nurturing letters straight to your inbox, join Emma’s mailing list here — including updates on future episodes, community offerings, and ways to work together.🌊 Curious about what’s unfolding behind the scenes of Emma’s reimagined online community, NurturePod?Be the first to hear what’s coming — follow on Instagram @nurturepod and join the waitlist here and we’ll keep you gently in the loop. Get full access to Nurture by Dr Emma Bagnall at themotheringpsychologist.substack.com/subscribe
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