Breaking Free from OCD, Anxiety & Stress with Matt Codde

If you can't stop thinking about your partner's past — obsessing over their ex, replaying old memories, or demanding reassurance — this episode is for you. Retroactive jealousy OCD isn't really about the past. It's a present-moment insecurity that gets projected backward, creating an exhausting loop of doubt, questioning, and compulsive reassurance-seeking.
In this episode, Matt Codde, LCSW explains exactly what retroactive jealousy OCD is, how it operates as part of the broader OCD cycle, and why treating it as a relationship problem actually makes things worse. Most importantly, he walks you through what you actually need to do to break the loop — not by resolving the past, but by addressing what's happening inside you right now.
Whether you're the one struggling or a partner trying to understand what's happening, this episode will give you the clarity and direction you need.
🧭 What You’ll Learn in This Episode
✅ Understand what retroactive jealousy OCD actually is — and why it's not about the relationship
✅ Learn the two most common RJ OCD patterns and how to recognize them
✅ See why reassurance-seeking and questioning your partner makes the loop worse
✅ Understand the real cause of RJ OCD: present-moment insecurity projected onto the past
✅ Learn why the past and the theme are never the true source of the disturbance
✅ Discover what non-resistance means and why it's the foundation of recovery
✅ See how RJ OCD connects to relationship OCD and why addressing it early matters
🚀 Resources to Help You Heal:
📥 FREE Recovery Guide
Start your journey to freedom from OCD and anxiety with expert tools and step-by-step guidance.
👉 Download now: https://www.restoredminds.com/start
📖 Get a Copy of Our Book: From Stuck to Unstuck
Learn practical strategies to overcome fear and reclaim your life.👉 Buy now: https://a.co/d/1WEvonT
📘 Taking Back Control (TBC) Program
Learn how to apply these principles daily and dissolve anxiety at the root.
👉 Apply Now: https://www.restoredminds.com/tbc
🎧 Subscribe & Connect for More Support:
✅ Subscribe to our YouTube channel for weekly episodes, tools, and coaching content.
👉 https://www.youtube.com/restoredminds
✅ Leave a Review on your favorite platform to help others discover this life-changing content:
👉 Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3NJI2zD
👉 Spotify: https://spoti.fi/46AiT30
✅ Ask a Question for a future episode:👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/assessments/2147654461✅ Download the Book – From Stuck to Unstuck
👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/book
Follow Matt Codde, LCSW on Social Media:
🔹 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mattcodde.restoredminds/
🔹 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mattcodde.restoredminds
/🔹 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/restoredminds/
📸 If this episode helped you, share it on Instagram Stories and tag us!
⏱️ Timestamps•
00:00 — What This Episode Is About: Retroactive Jealousy OCD•
01:22 — What Is Retroactive Jealousy OCD?
04:52 — Present-Moment Insecurity Projected onto the Past
07:54 — OCD as Chronic Escapism of Unwanted Emotion
08:39 — How to Break the Loop: Non-Resistance and Safety Behaviors
10:04 — How RJ OCD Connects to Relationship OCD
⚠️ Disclaimer
This content is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. Consult a licensed professional for personalized support.

If you or someone you love is caught in relentless doubt about a relationship — questioning feelings, hyperfixating on a partner's flaws, or seeking constant reassurance — this episode is for you. Matt Codde, LCSW breaks down what relationship OCD really is, why it has almost nothing to do with your partner, and what real recovery actually looks like.
Relationship OCD is one of the most misunderstood forms of OCD because it feels so real and relationship-specific. But underneath the doubt, the analysis, and the fear is a fear loop driven by internal emotion — not by your partner. Learning to see this distinction is the first and most important step toward breaking free.
Whether you're the one experiencing it or a partner trying to understand what's happening, this episode offers a clear, compassionate framework for navigating relationship OCD and beginning to heal from the inside out.
🧭 What You’ll Learn in This Episode
✅ Understand what separates relationship OCD from normal relationship doubts
✅ Learn the most common obsessions and compulsions in relationship OCD
✅ See why the fear loop has nothing to do with your partner — and everything to do with internal emotion
✅ Understand how 'fear goggles' distort your perception of your partner
✅ Learn why seeking reassurance and analyzing feelings makes relationship OCD worse
✅ Discover what real recovery looks like — and why it starts with the OCD loop, not the relationship
✅ See how the AAA Response can help you break the loop and restore nervous system stability

🚀 Resources to Help You Heal:
📥 FREE Recovery Guide
Start your journey to freedom from OCD and anxiety with expert tools and step-by-step guidance.
👉 Download now: https://www.restoredminds.com/start
📖 Get a Copy of Our Book: From Stuck to Unstuck
Learn practical strategies to overcome fear and reclaim your life.
👉 Buy now: https://a.co/d/1WEvonT
📘 Taking Back Control (TBC) Program
Learn how to apply these principles daily and dissolve anxiety at the root.
👉 Apply Now: https://www.restoredminds.com/tbc
🎧 Subscribe & Connect for More Support:
✅ Subscribe to our YouTube channel for weekly episodes, tools, and coaching content.👉 https://www.youtube.com/restoredminds
✅ Leave a Review on your favorite platform to help others discover this life-changing content:
👉 Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3NJI2zD
👉 Spotify: https://spoti.fi/46AiT30
✅ Ask a Question for a future episode:
👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/assessments/2147654461
✅ Download the Book – From Stuck to Unstuck
👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/book
Follow Matt Codde, LCSW on Social Media:
🔹 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mattcodde.restoredminds/
🔹 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mattcodde.restoredminds/
🔹 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/restoredminds/
📸 If this episode helped you, share it on Instagram Stories and tag us!
⏱️ Timestamps
00:00 What This Episode Is About: Relationship OCD Overview
01:00 A Theme Is Just a Projection of Fear
03:15 Relationship OCD vs. Normal Relationship Doubt
05:00 Common Obsessions & Compulsions
11:50 The Real Driving Force: Internal Pain & the Certainty Trap
14:10 What Real Recovery Looks Like
19:00 Shifting States: How Perception Changes Everything
⚠️ Disclaimer
This content is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. Consult a licensed professional for personalized support.

How to Build an ERP Hierarchy for OCD — And Why Most People Do It Wrong
If you've been trying ERP for OCD and feel like you're spinning your wheels, there's a good chance your exposure hierarchy is missing something critical. In this episode, Matt Codde, LCSW walks you through how a traditional ERP hierarchy works — and, more importantly, the key shifts that actually create lasting recovery.
Whether you're dealing with contamination OCD, relationship OCD (ROCD), harm OCD, or any other theme, this framework applies. If you've felt frustrated with traditional ERP, this episode will give you a new way of understanding and applying it.

What You'll Learn:
✅Understand what an ERP hierarchy is and how it's traditionally structured
✅Learn why response prevention is more important than the exposure itself
✅ See why doing exposures while ruminating is not real ERP
✅ Understand the two critical steps Matt recommends before adding intentional exposures
✅Learn how to reframe fear as something within you — not outside you — for deeper healing
✅ See why over-tracking and extreme exposures are often counterproductive
✅ Understand why working with a guide helps you spot compulsions you can't see yourself
🚀 Resources to Help You Heal:
📥 FREE Recovery Guide
Start your journey to freedom from OCD and anxiety with expert tools and step-by-step guidance.
👉 Download now: https://www.restoredminds.com/start
📖 Get a Copy of Our Book: From Stuck to Unstuck
Learn practical strategies to overcome fear and reclaim your life.
👉 Buy now: https://a.co/d/1WEvonT
📘 Taking Back Control (TBC) ProgramLearn how to apply these principles daily and dissolve anxiety at the root.
👉 Apply Now: https://www.restoredminds.com/tbc
🎧 Subscribe & Connect for More Support:
✅ Subscribe to our YouTube channel for weekly episodes, tools, and coaching content.
👉 https://www.youtube.com/restoredminds
✅ Leave a Review on your favorite platform to help others discover this life-changing content:
👉 Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3NJI2zD
👉 Spotify: https://spoti.fi/46AiT30
✅ Ask a Question for a future episode:
👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/assessments/2147654461✅ Download the Book – From Stuck to Unstuck
👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/book
Follow Matt Codde, LCSW on Social Media:
🔹 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mattcodde.restoredminds/
🔹 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mattcodde.restoredminds/
🔹 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/restoredminds/
🔹 Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/matthew.codde
📸 If this episode helped you, share it on Instagram Stories and tag us!
⏱️ Timestamps
00:00 — What This Episode Is About: Building an ERP Hierarchy
00:20 — What a Traditional ERP Hierarchy Looks Like
01:15 — Understanding the SUDS Scale
02:50 — Why Consistency Matters More Than One Big Exposure
03:20 — The Real Problem: Doing Exposures Without Removing Compulsions
05:30 — Step 2: Reframing Fear as Something Within You
08:00 — How Pride Keeps People Stuck

ERP for OCD & Anxiety | Why Hierarchies Alone Don’t Break the Loop
ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) is often called the “gold standard” for OCD and anxiety treatment. But if you’ve tried ERP and felt like it didn’t quite work—or you got partial results and then new fears popped up—you’re not alone.
In this episode of The Restored Minds Show, licensed therapist Matt Codde, LCSW breaks down what ERP really is, how it targets the OCD and anxiety loop, and why so many people struggle to make lasting progress with it. He explains the difference between focusing only on external triggers (like doorknobs, elevators, or driving) versus working directly with the internal fear that keeps projecting onto new themes.
If you’ve been doing exposures, building hierarchies, and “white-knuckling” your way through extreme ERP exercises, but still feel stuck in anxiety, rumination, and compulsions, this episode will help you reframe ERP as an ongoing integration process—not just a worksheet or a one-time challenge.
🧭 What You’ll Learn in This Episode
✅ What ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) actually is and how it targets the OCD/anxiety loop
✅ Why fear itself is not a “disorder” — and how getting stuck in lower emotional states creates suffering
✅ The difference between desensitizing to triggers vs. releasing fear from within
✅ Why ERP hierarchies and “doing more exposures” alone don’t create recovery
✅ How mental compulsions (like rumination, checking how you feel, and overanalyzing) secretly block real ERP
✅ Why consistency beats intensity in ERP — and how to integrate ERP as a lifestyle, not a one-off event
✅ How to understand ERP from a consciousness/emotional-release perspective so you can transcend fear instead of just chasing new themes

🚀 Resources to Help You Heal:
📥 FREE Recovery GuideStart your journey to freedom from OCD and anxiety with expert tools and step-by-step guidance.
👉 Download now: https://www.restoredminds.com/start
📖 Get a Copy of Our Book: From Stuck to UnstuckLearn practical strategies to overcome fear and reclaim your life.
👉 Buy now: https://a.co/d/1WEvonT
📘 Taking Back Control (TBC) Program
Learn how to apply these principles daily and dissolve anxiety at the root.
👉 Apply Now: https://www.restoredminds.com/tbc
🎧 Subscribe & Connect for More Support:
✅ Subscribe to our YouTube channel for weekly episodes, tools, and coaching content.
👉 https://www.youtube.com/restoredminds
✅ Leave a Review on your favorite platform to help others discover this life-changing content:
👉 Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3NJI2zD
👉 Spotify: https://spoti.fi/46AiT30
✅ Ask a Question for a future episode:
👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/assessments/2147654461
✅ Download the Book – From Stuck to Unstuck
👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/book
Follow Matt Codde, LCSW on Social Media:
🔹 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mattcodde.restoredminds/
🔹 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mattcodde.restoredminds/
🔹 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/restoredminds/
📸 If this episode helped you, share it on Instagram Stories and tag us!
⏱️ Timestamps00:00 – What Is ERP & How It Targets the OCD/Anxiety Loop
04:15 – The Contamination Example: Exposure + Response Prevention in Real Life
06:10 – Two Ways of Seeing ERP: Nervous System vs. Consciousness & Projection
12:05 – The Hierarchy Myth: Why Exposures Without Response Prevention Don’t Work
16:00 – ERP as a Lifestyle: Rumination, Daily Choices, and Ongoing Practice
21:20 – Transcending Fear: Proper ERP, Higher States, and Getting the Right Guidance

If you’re stuck in your head, constantly overthinking, replaying thoughts, or trying to “figure it out”… this episode will show you how to stop rumination the right way.

Rumination isn’t just thinking—it’s a compulsion that keeps you trapped in the OCD and anxiety loop. And the more you try to solve it mentally, the worse it gets.

🧠 What You’ll Learn in This Episode
✅ Why trying to “stop rumination” actually keeps you stuck
✅ The real reason you overthink (it’s not what you think)
✅ How rumination acts as a hidden compulsion in OCD & anxiety
✅ The emotional trigger behind your thinking loop
✅ Why solving thoughts will never bring relief
✅ The 3-step process to break free from rumination
✅ How to shift from fighting the problem → building a solution
✅ What to focus on instead to truly regain control of your life

🚀 Resources to Help You Heal:📥 FREE Recovery GuideStart your journey to freedom from OCD and anxiety with expert tools and step-by-step guidance.👉 Download now: https://www.restoredminds.com/start

📖 Get a Copy of Our Book: From Stuck to UnstuckLearn practical strategies to overcome fear and reclaim your life.👉 Buy now: https://a.co/d/1WEvonT

📘 Taking Back Control (TBC) ProgramLearn how to apply these principles daily and dissolve anxiety at the root.👉 Apply Now: https://www.restoredminds.com/tbc

🎧 Subscribe & Connect for More Support:✅ Subscribe to our YouTube channel for weekly episodes, tools, and coaching content.👉 https://www.youtube.com/restoredminds

✅ Leave a Review on your favorite platform to help others discover this life-changing content:👉 Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3NJI2zD👉 Spotify: https://spoti.fi/46AiT30

✅ Ask a Question for a future episode:👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/assessments/2147654461

✅ Download the Book – From Stuck to Unstuck👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/book

Follow Matt Codde, LCSW on Social Media:
🔹 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mattcodde.restoredminds/
🔹 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mattcodde.restoredminds/
🔹 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/restoredminds/
📸 If this episode helped you, share it on Instagram Stories and tag us!

⏱️ Timestamps
00:00 – Introduction: How to Stop Rumination
00:36 – Why “Stopping” Isn’t the Real Goal
01:19 – Step 1: Define What You Actually Want
02:14 – Identifying the Gap in Your Life
03:58 – Why Knowing Isn’t Enough
04:47 – Step 2: Awareness of Rumination
05:52 – The Real Cost of Overthinking
06:24 – Why You’re Actually Ruminating
07:47 – The Emotional Root of Rumination
08:13 – Step 3: Implement the Right Solution
09:02 – Why Most Approaches Fail
10:24 – The Correct Way to Break the Loop
10:33 – Final Framework Recap
11:05 – Closing Thoughts

⚠️ Disclaimer
This content is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. Consult a licensed professional for personalized support.