Live Well Be Well with Sarah Ann Macklin | Health, Lifestyle, Nutrition

The manosphere is back in the headlines, and every parent of a boy should be asking: if our sons have no strong male role models, who is teaching them how to be a man?

Clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author Dr Shefali Tsabary says whatever our boys need, technology is sweeping in with a substitute. She joins me to talk about how technology is abducting childhood, and how parents can take their power back.

Dr Shefali holds a doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University, founded the Conscious Parenting movement and has been featured on Oprah's SuperSoul Sunday. After watching the TV drama Adolescence, she wrote Raising Conscious Sons and Raising Conscious Daughters, and released both on the same day. She also opens up about leaving her own 25-year marriage, and why she believes marriage as an institution is failing women.

What we explore together:

•How the algorithm reads the different neurochemistry of boys and girls, and why parents are the ones who don't understand it

•Why social media bans alone won't fix it, and the essential ingredients every childhood needs: parental presence, connection and safety

•Why so many boys have no elder male mentors, how the manosphere filled that gap, and what they need instead: movement, purpose and brotherhood

•The best thing a father can do for his son, and why it starts with how he treats his mother

•The new sex talk, and why she says these conversations should start indirectly from age four and directly by age eight

•Her biggest regret as a parent, giving her daughter a phone at 13, and why she advises waiting until 15 or 16

•The "perception prison" girls grow up in, and why mothers modelling being ordinary takes the pressure off

•Her views on marriage, monogamy and community, and how to know when you're ready to leave a relationship

Love, Sarah Ann 💛

My book 'Healthy Shouldn't Be This Hard': https://www.amazon.co.uk/Healthy-Shouldnt-Be-This-Hard-ebook/dp/B0G1DHNRV5

Let's be friends!

📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahannmacklin/

📹 Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/@livewellbewellsarah

🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/SarahAnnMacklin

📱 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@livewellbewellpodcast

Dr Shefali Tsabary:

📖 Raising Conscious Sons: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1529994829

📖 Raising Conscious Daughters: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1529994810

🌐 Website: https://www.drshefali.com

📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doctorshefali/

📹 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@doctorshefali

Chapters

00:00 Trailer
01:14 Two books released on the same day
03:28 How the algorithm hooks boys and girls differently
04:35 Adolescence: the boy abducted by the manosphere
05:51 Social media bans aren't enough on their own
07:12 The essential ingredients of childhood
09:36 Why our boys are in trouble
11:13 The lost brotherhood and the early years
12:43 What boys need: movement, purpose and belonging
15:36 Porn, the manosphere and the algorithm
17:59 The new sex talk: nudes and deepfakes
22:05 The age of artificial parenting
26:37 "My child is adamant at getting a phone"
28:41 Give in and you'll have ten more problems
30:20 Her biggest regret as a parent
33:19 The father wound
36:26 The best thing a father can do
39:44 The gender war and the algorithm
43:33 The perception prison: raising girls today
48:14 Marriage and monogamy: "a failed experiment"
50:48 Choosing your own relationship design
52:30 Why she will never marry again
54:06 "It protects me if I have a child"
56:23 Divorce and the pressure to stay
1:01:59 Scared to leave? How to know you're ready
1:05:32 Perfection on social media is a cry for help
1:10:01 Teaching boys to channel anger
1:13:40 The Urban Explorers
1:15:24 Loneliness: the central wound of modern boyhood
1:21:29 What does Live Well Be Well mean to you?

This week’s Live Well Be Well Moment is with Arthur Brooks, Harvard professor and #1 New York Times bestselling author.

Keeping a journal of your failures and disappointments, not just the things you’re grateful for, could do more for your happiness than you think. Arthur explains exactly how to do it, why it can be so powerful, and what the practice taught him after losing his parents.

My book ‘Healthy Shouldn’t Be This Hard’: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Healthy-Shouldnt-Be-This-Hard-ebook/dp/B0G1DHNRV5

📖 If this resonates, you can join the thousands who read The Compassionate Cure each week.https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/

Let’s be friends!
📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahannmacklin/
📹 Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/@livewellbewellsarah
🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/SarahAnnMacklin
📱 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@livewellbewellpodcast
💌 Newsletter: https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/

This week’s Live Well Be Well Moment is with Dr David Rock, neuroscience researcher, author and founder of the NeuroLeadership Institute.

He explains why stress and a busy mind can block the insights we’re looking for, how stepping away gives your brain space to make new connections, and what you can do to make those lightbulb moments more likely.

My book ‘Healthy Shouldn’t Be This Hard’: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Healthy-Shouldnt-Be-This-Hard-ebook/dp/B0G1DHNRV5

📖 If this resonates, you can join the thousands who read The Compassionate Cure each week.
https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/

Let’s be friends!
📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahannmacklin/
📹 Subscribe:
https://www.youtube.com/@livewellbewellsarah
🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/SarahAnnMacklin
📱 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@livewellbewellpodcast
💌 Newsletter: https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/

Lucid dreaming teacher Charlie Morley joins me to talk about the roughly two hours a night, around a twelfth of our lives, that we spend dreaming.

Charlie has spent close to 20 years teaching people how to lucid dream, lived in a Buddhist temple for seven years, and received a Winston Churchill Fellowship to research PTSD treatment in military veterans. The turning point came at 17, when an overdose and a near-death experience left him with four months of nightmares that ended in a single lucid dream.

What we explore together:

•Why nightmares keep coming back, and why waking yourself up from one is "like a therapy session cut short"

•How to remember your dreams, even if you think you never dream

•What actually changes in the brain the moment you realise you're dreaming

•Charlie's own pilot study, where over 85% of people with PTSD no longer met the diagnostic threshold after a six-day lucid dreaming workshop.

•Is lucid dreaming safe, who shouldn't try it, and why you shouldn't face severe trauma alone

•The four foundations to start tonight: dream planning, dream recall, the dream diary and dream signs

Love, Sarah Ann 💛

References:
Dreaming about the exam the night before (Arnulf et al., Consciousness and Cognition, 2014): https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25108280/
Lucid dreaming in children (Voss et al., Journal of Sleep Research, 2012): https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22639960/
Charlie’s PTSD lucid dream healing workshop pilot study (Yount et al., Traumatology, 2023): https://doi.org/10.1037/trm0000456

My book 'Healthy Shouldn't Be This Hard': https://www.amazon.co.uk/Healthy-Shouldnt-Be-This-Hard-ebook/dp/B0G1DHNRV5

Let's be friends!

📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahannmacklin/

📹 Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/@livewellbewellsarah

🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/SarahAnnMacklin

📱 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@livewellbewellpodcast

Charlie Morley:

🌐 Website and books: https://charliemorley.com

Chapters

00:00 Trailer
01:18 Introduction: we spend a twelfth of our lives dreaming
02:13 REM sleep isn't rest: you burn calories when you dream
03:53 What is lucid dreaming?
04:28 Why nightmares keep coming back: a therapy session cut short
05:40 "I never remember my dreams": how to start remembering
08:01 Vivid dreams, waking up anxious and why you should write nightmares down
10:19 What is a nightmare? Threat simulation and dreams as fire drills
13:05 The Sorbonne study: anxiety dreams before exams
14:37 Interpreting a dream from inside it: the black dog and the inner child
16:41 Inside the dreaming brain: what switches on when you become lucid
19:50 Practising skills in a lucid dream
20:54 Is lucid dreaming safe? Why you don't actually control the dream
23:16 The iceberg of the mind: how deep a lucid dream can go
27:22 Asking your dreams the big questions
28:21 "Is this woo woo?": spiritual traditions and the science
31:03 100K on YouTube and the APA special issue on lucid dreaming
32:03 Charlie's books and meeting your shadow
33:32 How it started: a dream mask advert before his 12th birthday
36:47 The overdose and near-death experience at 17
38:56 Agoraphobia, panic attacks and recurring nightmares
40:40 The lucid dream that ended four months of nightmares
43:17 Does it work for everyone? The PTSD study
49:30 85% below the PTSD threshold in the pilot, and the four-week follow-up
50:38 What the study can't prove
51:22 Why you shouldn't face severe trauma alone
53:21 Nightmares, sleep paralysis and jet lag can help you get lucid
54:41 Don't force it: be like a kid before Christmas
56:07 Technique 1: dream planning
57:05 Technique 2: dream recall
58:29 Why you forget your dream the moment you wake up
59:40 Technique 3: the dream diary
1:02:41 Technique 4: dream signs
1:04:45 Breathing and sleep: why slow breathing matters
1:07:12 Yoga nidra and charging your parasympathetic battery
1:09:15 Your dreams as a daily check-in on your mind
1:10:59 Lucid dreaming as a psychedelic experience you have in bed

This week’s Live Well Be Well Moment is with Jordan Haworth, registered dietitian and gut health specialist.

If you saw Jordan’s psyllium jelly go viral and wondered what the fuss was about, he explains exactly how it affects your cholesterol, blood sugar and digestion, and why most people aren’t taking enough.

My book, Healthy Shouldn’t Be This Hard: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Healthy-Shouldnt-Be-This-Hard-ebook/dp/B0G1DHNRV5

📖 If this resonates, you can join the thousands who read The Compassionate Cure each week:
https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/

Let’s be friends!
📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahannmacklin/
📹 Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/@livewellbewellsarah
🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/SarahAnnMacklin
📱 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@livewellbewellpodcast
💌 Newsletter: https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/