ADHD Mums

• 20. SCHOOL SERIES: How to Choose a School That Won’t Break Your Kid (or You)

  If you're a neurodivergent parent staring down the impossible decision of where to send your child to school — this episode is for you. Forget the glossy brochures and test score spreadsheets. In this raw, strategic conversation, Jane and Millie Carr walk you through the real questions to ask, the red flags to watch for, and how to trust your gut when it comes to choosing a school that won't retraumatise your kid — or you. We unpack the hidden barriers ADHD and autistic families face during school enrolment, what buzzwords to interrogate (hello “inclusive” and “resilient”), and how to decode a school’s culture beneath the surface. Because being told “we’ve got neurodivergent kids here too” isn’t the same as knowing how to support them. You’ll walk away with scripts, insight, and the confidence to stop people-pleasing your way into another educational crisis. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: Why “inclusive” doesn’t always mean safe The buzzwords that signal masking, not belonging Questions to ask on a school tour that don’t flag your child as “the hard one What to look for beyond classrooms: playgrounds, posters, and teacher training The role of trauma-informed, neuroaffirming values in everyday school lif When to walk away (even if it’s inconvenient) How to weigh up private vs public when the real issue is leadership Real-life stories of switching schools — and what finally worked 💭 This episode is for you if:– You’ve been burned by schools that promised support and delivered shame– You’re overwhelmed by the decision and scared to get it wrong– You want your child to feel safe, regulated, and seen — not just compliant 📥 Download the free School Choice Kit — includes a walk-through guide, green/red flag checklist, school tour scripts, and more:👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/product/the-school-choice-kit/ 📝 Want to go deeper? Read the blog version of this episode:👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/how-to-choose-a-school-that-wont-break-your-kid-or-you/ Need support navigating school chaos?Making School Work is your go-to advocacy guide for when your neurodivergent child isn’t coping — and the school says they’re fine. Packed with scripts, templates, and clarity for IEPs, school refusal, and shutdowns, it helps you hold your ground in the rooms that matter.Get it here: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/ Other Quick Reset Episodes: S3E8 Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E10 Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E12 I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E14 I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E15 He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E16 No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E17 How we survive the 3- 6:00 PM shit show when kids are coming down off meds: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E18 Why you are bad at asking for help and what to do instead: Spotify | Apple Podcast Resources Mentioned: 🔗 To find out more about Millie Carr or purchase her books please click on her website or check out her IG 🔗 Sign our Change Petition here 🔗 Submit your experience with schooling here 🎧 Listener Questions please send here 🔗 Free Guides and Resources: https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/ Disability & Education Laws Referenced (Qld Human Rights Act, DSE 2005, UN CRPD) 👩‍⚖️ Human Rights Commission: humanrights.gov.au 📚 References & Further Reading Disability Standards for Education 2005Read via the Department of Education – Australian Government Disability Discrimination Act 1992View the full legislation on the Federal Register 🎧 Listen Now If you’ve ever sat through a 15-minute IEP meeting where nothing changed, or wondered how much louder you have to get before someone listens—this episode is your script, your validation, and your reminder: You’re not too much. The system is too underprepared. Hit play. Forward it to your child’s support coordinator. Save it for your next meeting. JOIN THE COMMUNITY: Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format! FOLLOW FOR MORE: Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube LEAVE A REVIEW: Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together. COLLABS: For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected]. MORE RESOURCES: Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here. Topics Covered In This Episode: asking for help, ADHD mums, good girl conditioning, emotional labour, burnout, pathological self-reliance, support scripts, parenting shutdown, masking, trauma-informed parenting, help refusal, co-regulation, overfunctioning, performance parenting, ADHD and motherhood, emotional suppression, boundaries, unmet needs, meltdown cycle, maternal overload, neuroaffirming support.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 19. SCHOOL SERIES: When School Stops Feeling Safe

  If your child holds it together at school but falls apart at home — this episode is for you. In this raw and deeply validating conversation, Jane is joined again by educator Millie Carr to unpack what happens when school is no longer emotionally or psychologically safe for neurodivergent kids. From missed warning signs to outright shutdown, we explore how subtle distress gets overlooked — and how easily parents are made to feel like they’re overreacting. You’ll learn what to watch for, what to say to schools without getting dismissed, and how to hold your ground when your gut says something’s not right. Whether your child is masking, refusing, or silently burning out, this episode gives you tools to recognise what’s happening — and advocate without losing yourself in the process. 🧠 What We Cover in This Episode: What it looks like when school stops feeling safe for your child How stomach aches, fatigue, and ‘bad behaviour’ are often nervous system distress Why behaviour plans focused on compliance miss the point The invisible trauma of forced attendance How to approach schools without being labelled the ‘difficult parent’ Repairing a broken relationship with school staff — and when not to bother Why sitting on the floor too long can be the final straw The difference between refusing school and not coping What to do when your child can’t tell you what’s wrong — and no one at school is listening 💭 This episode is for you if:– You’ve ever sat in the car after drop-off wondering if you’re doing the right thing– You’ve been told your child is ‘fine’ at school while you’re watching them unravel at home– You want to stop walking on eggshells with the school and start backing yourself 📥 Related Resource:➡️ The School Choice Kit — A neuro-affirming guide to help you choose the right school for your child. Includes questions to ask, red flags to watch for, and planning tools to support your decision-making. Download the Kit 📖 Read the blog version of this episode: 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/when-school-stops-being-safe/ Need support navigating school chaos?Making School Work is your go-to advocacy guide for when your neurodivergent child isn’t coping — and the school says they’re fine. Packed with scripts, templates, and clarity for IEPs, school refusal, and shutdowns, it helps you hold your ground in the rooms that matter.Get it here: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/ Other Quick Reset Episodes: S3E8 Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E10 Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E12 I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E14 I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E15 He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E16 No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E17 How we survive the 3- 6:00 PM shit show when kids are coming down off meds: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E18 Why you are bad at asking for help and what to do instead: Spotify | Apple Podcast Resources Mentioned: 🔗 To find out more about Millie Carr or purchase her books please click on her website or check out her IG 🔗 Sign our Change Petition here 🔗 Submit your experience with schooling here 🎧 Listener Questions please send here 🔗 Free Guides and Resources: https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/ Disability & Education Laws Referenced (Qld Human Rights Act, DSE 2005, UN CRPD) 👩‍⚖️ Human Rights Commission: humanrights.gov.au 📚 References & Further Reading Disability Standards for Education 2005Read via the Department of Education – Australian Government Disability Discrimination Act 1992View the full legislation on the Federal Register 🎧 Listen Now If you’ve ever sat through a 15-minute IEP meeting where nothing changed, or wondered how much louder you have to get before someone listens—this episode is your script, your validation, and your reminder: You’re not too much. The system is too underprepared. Hit play. Forward it to your child’s support coordinator. Save it for your next meeting. JOIN THE COMMUNITY: Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format! FOLLOW FOR MORE: Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube LEAVE A REVIEW: Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together. COLLABS: For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected]. MORE RESOURCES: Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here. Topics Covered In This Episode: school trauma, masking, school refusal, neurodivergent burnout, ADHD parenting, shutdown, emotional safety, school gaslighting, dysregulation, behaviour plans, invisible load, sensory overwhelm, difficult parent myth, school advocacy, trauma-informed education, IEPs, school transitions, nervous system overload, emotional regulation, parenting instincts, neuroaffirming support.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 18. QUICK RESET:  Why you are bad at asking for help and what to do instead

  If the words ‘let me know if you need anything’ make you panic instead of feel supported — this one’s for you. This Quick Reset is a nervous system-level sigh of relief for the mums who feel safest surviving in silence. If you’ve ever shut down instead of speaking up, snapped when someone finally offered to help, or felt like asking for support meant erasing your worth — this episode will hit home. Hard. We unpack the trauma behind “I’ve got it,” the invisible legacy of pathological self-reliance, and how masking your needs became part of your personality. But it’s not who you are — it’s what you learned. It’s time to stop waiting until burnout to be visible. This episode offers small scripts, mindset shifts, and reframes that make asking for help feel less like failure — and more like a form of love. ✨ IN THIS RESET: Why asking for help feels like failure (especially for high-functioning women) How ‘good girl conditioning’ trained you to suppress needs Why no one notices you're struggling — and why that’s not your fault The trauma loop of independence, silence, and resentment Scripts to ask for support without shame When your meltdown isn’t about dinner — it’s about years of invisible labour Rewiring your worth away from being useful Real-life strategies to pre-negotiate support (before the spiral) Giving yourself the grace to stop performing strength 💭 This episode is for you if:– You say “I’m fine” when you’re not — and no one calls your bluff– You wait for a breakdown to finally say “I need help”– You want to rest before you collapse, but don't know how to start 🔬 References Dr. Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself (2011) – particularly chapters on caregiving and gendered expectations. Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2018). The Mindful Self‐Compassion Workbook. Guilford Press. 📚 RELATED RESOURCES: Free ADHD Medication Advocacy Guide 🔁 SHARE THIS RESET:If this one hit hard, send it to a mum friend who’s also stuck in survival mode. Let her know: she’s not broken, she’s bracing. Other Quick Reset Episodes: S3E8 Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E10 Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E12 I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E14 I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E15 He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E16 No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E17 QUICK RESET: How we survive the 3- 6:00 PM shit show when kids are coming down off meds. Spotify | Apple Podcast 🧠 TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: asking for help, ADHD mums, good girl conditioning, emotional labour, burnout, pathological self-reliance, support scripts, parenting shutdown, masking, trauma-informed parenting, help refusal, co-regulation, overfunctioning, performance parenting, ADHD and motherhood, emotional suppression, boundaries, unmet needs, meltdown cycle, maternal overload, neuroaffirming support.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 17. QUICK RESET: How We Survive the 3–6PM Sh*t Show When Kids Are Coming Down Off Meds

  If your afternoons feel like a slow-motion train wreck — tears, yelling, slammed doors, and you hiding in the pantry with a chocolate bar — this episode is for you. This Quick Reset speaks directly to the ADHD mums stuck in the brutal 3–6PM rebound window (or 3–9PM if your house is really on fire). When the stimulant meds wear off, the chaos ramps up — and suddenly the smallest request can launch a meltdown. Whether your child is screaming in the backseat or your teenager is giving you the silent treatment, this episode validates the unspoken truth: it’s not you, it’s the neurochemical whiplash. Jane breaks down the reality of post-school dysregulation, explains why your child falls apart as soon as they get home, and shares real-life survival tools (not Pinterest-perfect routines) that actually help. ✨ IN THIS RESET, WE COVER: What’s really happening when ADHD meds wear off (spoiler: it’s not “bad behaviour”) Why the smallest requests trigger epic meltdowns The connection between sensory build-up, emotional suppression, and after-school explosions Why your child’s brain crashes when yours does too The invisible rebound window: how to recognise it and adapt School masking and why ‘safe’ doesn’t always look calm The only two things that changed Jane’s afternoons (music + snacks, no eye contact) Low-demand parenting that actually protects connection Why the “put your lunchbox on the bench” battle isn’t worth it — and what to do instead 💭 This episode is for you if:– You dread the school pickup more than the morning rush– You spiral into shame after yelling — again– You feel like the only mum hiding in her laundry at 5PM questioning everything 🎧 Listen now on your favourite platform and hit follow so you never miss a Reset. 🔗 Resources & Links: Join the Facebook community: ADHD Mums FB Group More resources & tools: www.adhdmums.com.au/shop 🔁 SHARE THIS RESET:If this one hit hard, send it to a mum friend who’s also stuck in survival mode. Let her know: she’s not broken, she’s bracing. Other Quick Reset Episodes: S3E8 Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E10 Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E12 I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E14 I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E15 He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E16 No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E18 Why you are bad at asking for help and what to do instead: Spotify | Apple Podcast 🧠 TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:ADHD rebound, parenting rage, stimulant medication, after school meltdowns, low-demand parenting, sensory overload, emotional dysregulation, school masking, post-med crash, parenting with ADHD, after school routine, co-regulation, ADHD parenting tips, medication wear-off, shutdown, parenting burnout, survival strategies, neurodivergent kids, rethinking routines, school trauma, ADHD mums.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 16. QUICK RESET: No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed

  If you’ve spent hours calling pharmacies, chasing down scripts, or fighting tears in front of your child’s school — this episode is for you. This week’s Quick Reset is a brutally honest look at the ADHD medication shortage and what it’s actually costing families. It’s not just about pills. It’s about access, function, and survival. If you’ve been told to 'just hang in there' while rationing doses, burning out, and trying to stay regulated — this episode will meet you where you are. We unpack why the shortage isn’t just a supply chain hiccup — but a structural failure — and what you can do right now. You’ll hear the real-life chaos behind one bottle of meds, the truth about demand vs infrastructure, and the emotional cost of parenting without the support you fought hard to access. 🧠 What We Cover in This Episode: What’s actually causing the ADHD medication shortage in Australia Why this isn’t about 'overprescribing' — it’s about systemic neglect The real impact on parents who are rationing, relapsing, and burning out How executive function vanishes when meds disappear What the TGA, the PBS, and DEA limits have to do with your child’s treatment Bridging scripts, access barriers, and what GPs still don’t know Why this crisis is about disability rights, not convenience The stories that politicians need to hear — and how to send them 💥 This episode is for you if:– You’re sharing meds between siblings or skipping doses to make it through the week– You’ve been left with no support, no alternatives, and zero help — yet somehow still expected to function– You want to advocate without being told to 'calm down' 🎧 Listen now and take the first step toward action — even if all you can do today is hit play. 🔁 SHARE THIS RESET:If this one hit hard, send it to a mum friend who’s also stuck in survival mode. Let her know: she’s not broken, she’s bracing. Other Quick Reset Episodes: S3E8 Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E10 Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E12 I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E14 I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E15 He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E17 How we survive the 3- 6:00 PM shit show when kids are coming down off meds: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E18 Why you are bad at asking for help and what to do instead: Spotify | Apple Podcast 📚 Related Resources: – Free ADHD Medication Advocacy Resource– TGA Medication Shortage Portal– 📥 Download MP forms, free resources & more on this subject here 🧠 TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:ADHD medication shortage, ADHD mums, stimulant access, unmedicated parenting, executive dysfunction, advocacy, system failure, rationing medication, Concerta shortage, Ritalin supply, neurodivergent burnout, mental health crisis, parenting unsupported, TGA, PBS medication, real-life ADHD, medication access, writing to MPs, disability rights, school chaos, neuroaffirming advocacy, ADHD parenting.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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