Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads

What happens when you’re doing everything “right”… but it still feels wrong? In this powerful podcast swap, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles bring you Renee Swanson from The Covert Narcissism Podcast as she breaks down the invisible rules that quietly shape toxic relationships—and why none of it was ever your fault.

Awards & Downloads Line

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback Link Line

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:
https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Mental Health Quote

“Healthy relationships do not require you to memorize a rulebook just to exist.” — Renee Swanson

Episode Description

This episode hits differently—and that’s intentional. As part of a podcast swap, we’re sharing an episode from Renee Swanson, host of The Covert Narcissism Podcast, and it’s one that puts words to something so many people feel but struggle to explain.

Renee dives deep into what she calls “the invisible rulebook”—the unspoken, ever-changing expectations that shape unhealthy relationships. These aren’t normal compromises or shared agreements. These are confusing, often contradictory rules that leave you constantly second-guessing yourself, walking on eggshells, and feeling like you’re always getting it wrong… even when no one ever told you what “right” was.

Through real stories from her community, Renee highlights how these dynamics show up in everyday life—what seems small on the surface becomes a source of tension, blame, or control. Over time, this creates a cycle of hypervigilance, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion.

What makes this conversation so powerful is the clarity it brings. It’s not about the rules themselves—it’s about the environment they create. A lack of mutual respect, flexibility, and emotional safety slowly erodes your sense of self.

This episode is a reminder that if something feels off, there’s a reason. And more importantly, it’s not you.

Keywords: covert narcissism, invisible rules, emotional abuse, toxic relationships, self-doubt, gaslighting, relationship anxiety, boundaries, emotional manipulation, mental health awareness, healing journey, self-trust, trauma recovery, personal growth

Meet the Host — Renee Swanson

Renee Swanson is the host of The Covert Narcissism Podcast and a coach dedicated to helping individuals understand and heal from emotionally manipulative and narcissistic relationship dynamics. Through her work, she brings clarity to confusion and empowers people to rebuild trust in themselves after years of self-doubt.

Website: https://covertnarcissism.com/

Key Takeaways

The problem isn’t the “rules”—it’s the environment they create

Feeling like you’re always wrong is often a conditioned response, not reality

Control in toxic relationships often hides in small, everyday interactions

Double standards are a major red flag in unhealthy dynamics

Self-doubt grows when you’re constantly managing someone else’s reactions

Healthy relationships allow space for two humans to exist without shrinking

 

Actionable Items

When you feel self-doubt, ask: “Are the expectations clear—or constantly changing?”

Practice noticing where you feel calm vs. where you feel like you’re “performing.”

Remind yourself daily: “I don’t need a rulebook to exist in a healthy relationship.”

 

Important Chapters

00:00:00 – G-Rex introduces the podcast swap and the concept of “getting it wrong.”

00:01:07 – Renee explains the invisible rulebook and community-driven stories

00:04:00 – Why it’s not about the rules—it’s about the environment

00:07:00 – Real-life examples of no-win scenarios in relationships

00:12:00 – The emotional toll of constantly anticipating someone else’s needs

00:17:00 – Control disguised as preferences and everyday habits

00:21:00 – How small rules create long-term psychological impact

00:23:00 – The erosion of identity and confidence over time

00:24:40 – The truth: you were never the problem

00:25:00 – What healthy relationships actually look like

 

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!
Remember to subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:
https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #CovertNarcissism #ToxicRelationships #EmotionalAbuseRecovery #GaslightingAwareness #SelfTrust #HealingJourney #BoundariesMatter #RelationshipDynamics #EmotionalWellbeing #TraumaHealing #PodcastSwap #SelfWorth #MentalHealthEducation

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when you build the life you thought you were supposed to want—money, success, freedom, and still wake up feeling empty? In this raw and honest conversation, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Louis Kim to unpack the quiet truth so many people are afraid to admit: external success doesn’t heal internal pain. Lou shares his journey through identity struggles, multiple suicide attempts, and a decade-long path of self-discovery that forced him to rethink everything he believed about happiness, purpose, and what it really means to feel alive.

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback Link Line

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:
https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Special Announcements

Vote for Us — Women Podcasters Awards

I’m incredibly proud to share that we have been nominated in the 2026 Women Podcasters Awards in the Mindset & Mental Health category.

This recognition means more than words can capture. What started as honest, sometimes messy conversations has grown into something bigger—a space where people feel seen, heard, and a little less alone.

Now we have a chance to grow that impact even further, and your support would mean everything.

Vote here:
https://www.womenpodcasters.com/awards-voting

Voting is open now through April 30th at 6 PM PST

Voting is simple:
• Click the link
• Select the vote button
• Complete the form
Please note: only one vote per person and email address is allowed, and duplicate submissions will not be counted.

Thank you for being part of this journey—whether you’ve listened, shared, or supported in any way.

A Quick Word From Our Sponsor — Cozy Earth

This episode is brought to you by Cozy Earth—and honestly, this one hits home.

We talk a lot on this show about burnout, anxiety, and carrying way too much for way too long. Cozy Earth is about bringing comfort back into those quiet, in-between moments—the ones where you finally get to exhale. Their robes and slippers are designed to feel like a deep breath at the end of a long day—soft, intentional, and made to support real life.

Think about the women in your life—the ones who give endlessly. When was the last time they got that same level of care back?

This is your reminder: comfort matters. And you deserve it, too.

Head to https://www.cozyearth.com and use code OURHEADS for 20% off.
Because the people who give the most should feel taken care of, too.

Meet Our Guest — Louis Kim

Louis Kim is a Korean-American entrepreneur, Founder of Yusan Capital, and a leader in what he calls “Connected Capitalism.” After building and selling a successful business, Louis found himself facing deep inner struggles that led him on a path of self-discovery, spiritual awakening, and heart-centered leadership. Today, he bridges the worlds of business and inner work, helping others understand that true success starts within.

Website: http://www.loukim.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/partsoflou/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@partsoflou/

Mental Health Quote

“If you’re unhappy without money, you’ll just be more miserable with it. Real fulfillment comes from within.” — Louis Kim

Episode Description

Louis Kim did everything right, built the business, made the money, and checked every box society tells us should equal happiness. But behind the success, he was struggling in silence. In this deeply honest conversation, Louis shares what it felt like to reach the top, realize something was still missing, and how that realization led him into one of the hardest, yet most transformative, chapters of his life.

Sitting down with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles, Louis opens up about surviving multiple suicide attempts, navigating identity struggles as the child of immigrants, and confronting the uncomfortable truth that external achievements can’t replace internal fulfillment. What followed wasn’t a quick fix—it was a decade-long journey of self-discovery, letting go, and rebuilding from the inside out.

This episode explores the power of gratitude, the importance of self-love, and why chasing joy will always take you further than chasing money. Louis also shares how his perspective on leadership has evolved, and what it really means to live authentically in a world that constantly pushes you to perform.

If you’ve ever felt like you should be happier than you are, this conversation will hit home—and remind you that purpose isn’t something you find outside of yourself. It’s something you build from within.

Keywords: Louis Kim, mental health podcast, finding purpose, success and happiness, suicide survival, self-discovery, gratitude practice, emotional wellness, burnout recovery, inner peace, personal growth, authenticity, joy vs money, mindset shift

Key Takeaways

Success without purpose can feel just as empty as failure

Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for shifting your mindset

External validation will never replace internal fulfillment

Joy comes from connection and experiences—not material things

Self-love is the foundation for meaningful relationships

Your lowest moments can become the beginning of real transformation

 

Actionable Items

Create a “joy folder” on your phone with moments that make you smile

Practice daily gratitude by naming three things you appreciate

Pause and ask yourself: Am I chasing this for validation or fulfillment?

 

References Mentioned

Marcus Aurelius (Stoic philosophy on presence and gratitude)
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — https://988lifeline.org

Important Chapters

00:00 – Welcome + meeting Louis Kim

07:00 – The illusion of success and feeling empty inside

15:00 – Suicide attempts and the turning point toward self-discovery

25:00 – Gratitude, presence, and learning to appreciate the moment

35:00 – Why experiences matter more than material success

45:00 – Advice to his younger self: authenticity and gratitude

52:00 – The hardest lesson: learning to love yourself first

01:00:00 – Closing thoughts + where to find Louis

 

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!
Remember to subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:
https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #SelfDiscovery #PurposeDrivenLife #EmotionalWellness #InnerHealing #SuicideAwareness #GratitudePractice #MindsetShift #PersonalGrowthJourney #AuthenticLiving #JoyOverMoney #HealingJourney #MentalHealthMatters #PodcastLife

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when you keep walking away from conversations, feeling like everything is somehow your fault? In this special podcast swap, we’re sharing a powerful episode from Renee Swanson of The Covert Narcissism Podcast—one that breaks down the emotional weight of self-blame and why so many of us carry responsibility that was never ours to begin with. This isn’t our usual format, but it’s one we believe matters—and we truly hope you walk away from this episode learning something that shifts how you see yourself and your relationships.

Mental Health Quote

“Maybe you’re not the problem. Maybe you were just trying to be normal in a place that couldn’t tolerate normal.” — Renee Swanson

Episode Description

This episode is something a little different—and very intentional. As part of a podcast swap, we’re featuring a powerful episode from Renee Swanson, host of The Covert Narcissism Podcast. And honestly? This is one we knew our listeners needed to hear.

Renee walks us through the subtle, often invisible dynamics of covert narcissism and self-blame—the kind that doesn’t show up as obvious conflict but instead leaves you questioning yourself after completely normal interactions. Through real-life scenarios, she unpacks how everyday conversations can twist, leaving you carrying guilt, confusion, and responsibility that were never yours.

We explore what it means to be a self-reflective person in an unhealthy dynamic, how emotional intelligence can be quietly exploited, and why some relationships make you feel like you’re constantly getting it wrong. Renee also introduces the idea of internal boundaries—simple but powerful shifts that help you stop absorbing someone else’s tension and start trusting your own reality again.

This episode hits deep because it puts words to something so many people feel but struggle to explain. And that’s exactly why we wanted to bring it to you.

We’re honored to share Renee’s work on our platform, and we hope you take something real, grounding, and empowering from this conversation—because understanding this dynamic can truly change how you show up in your life and your relationships.

Keywords: covert narcissism, self-blame, emotional abuse, toxic relationships, mental health awareness, gaslighting, self-worth, emotional intelligence, boundaries, healing journey, trauma recovery, self-trust, relationship patterns, personal growth

Meet the Host — Renee Swanson

Renee Swanson is the host of The Covert Narcissism Podcast and a coach dedicated to helping individuals understand and heal from emotionally manipulative and narcissistic relationship dynamics. Through her work, she provides clarity, validation, and practical tools for those navigating confusion, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion.

Website: https://covertnarcissism.com/

Key Takeaways

Not every emotional reaction directed at you belongs to you

Self-reflection is a strength—but in the wrong environment, it can be used against you

Feeling like “the problem” is often a learned pattern, not the truth

Healthy relationships can handle normal communication without turning it into conflict

Internal boundaries help you separate your emotions from someone else’s tension

Patterns of self-doubt around specific people are important signals, not coincidences

Actionable Items

When self-blame shows up, pause and ask: “Who was I interacting with?”

Practice the boundary: “I will not internalize someone else’s tension.”

Notice where you feel grounded versus where you feel anxious or “too much”—and trust that awareness

Important Chapters

00:00:00 – G-Rex introduces the podcast swap and why this episode matters

00:00:25 – Renee sets the stage: when something feels off but you can’t explain why

00:01:07 – The kitchen scenario: how normal conversations turn into self-blame

00:04:29 – Understanding emotional offloading and the “pressure release valve” dynamic

00:06:14 – The long-term cost of self-erasure in relationships

00:07:32 – Why everyday questions become “problems” in unhealthy dynamics

00:08:21 – Workplace example: how self-doubt spreads beyond relationships

00:12:11 – The grounding question that shifts your perspective

00:13:41 – Why self-reflective people are more vulnerable in these dynamics

00:15:55 – How covert narcissism exploits emotional intelligence

00:17:22 – Weekly assignment: recognizing patterns of self-blame

00:18:58 – Reclaiming your internal compass and sense of normal

 
Subscribe, Rate, and Review! Remember to subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website: https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #CovertNarcissism #SelfBlame #ToxicRelationships #EmotionalAbuseRecovery #GaslightingAwareness #HealingJourney #BoundariesMatter #SelfWorth #EmotionalIntelligence #TraumaHealing #RelationshipDynamics #PodcastSwap #MentalHealthEducation

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when your body completely breaks down—and no one can tell you why? In this episode, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Shannon Salge to talk about burnout, chronic illness, and the deeper emotional roots of healing that most people never address.

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback Link Line

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:
https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Mental Health Quote

“You can do everything ‘right’ and still feel broken—until you start healing what’s underneath.” — Shannon Salge

Vote for Us — Women Podcasters Awards

We’ve been nominated in the 2026 Women Podcasters Awards in the Mindset & Mental Health category—and this one means everything.

What started as real, unfiltered conversations has grown into a space where people feel seen, heard, and a little less alone.

Vote here:
https://www.womenpodcasters.com/awards-voting

Voting is open through April 30th at 6 PM PST
One vote per person/email

Thank you for being part of this journey.

A Quick Word From Our Sponsor — Cozy Earth

This episode is brought to you by Cozy Earth—and honestly, this one hits home.

We talk a lot about burnout, anxiety, and carrying way too much for way too long. Cozy Earth is about bringing comfort back into those quiet, in-between moments—the ones where you finally get to exhale.

Their robes and slippers are soft, intentional, and made to support real life.

Think about the women in your life—the ones who give endlessly. When was the last time they got that same level of care back?

Head to https://www.cozyearth.com and use code OURHEADS for 20% off.

Because the people who give the most deserve to feel taken care of, too.

Episode Description

Shannon Salge thought she was doing everything right—eating clean, working out, pushing through, and showing up at the highest level. Until her body completely shut down.

In this honest and powerful conversation, Shannon joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to discuss what really happens when burnout, chronic stress, and unresolved emotional patterns manifest as physical symptoms. After years of being dismissed, misdiagnosed, and gaslit by doctors, Shannon was eventually diagnosed with an autoimmune condition—but that diagnosis didn’t explain everything.

What she uncovered next changed the way she sees health entirely.

This episode challenges the idea that healing is just about fixing symptoms. Shannon breaks down how gut issues, hormone imbalances, fatigue, and chronic pain are often tied to deeper stress patterns, nervous system dysregulation, and emotional suppression. She shares that learning to slow down, set boundaries, and listen to her body was the turning point in her recovery.

You’ll also hear about alternative approaches like bioresonance testing and functional labs, and why advocating for yourself within the medical system is non-negotiable.

If you’ve ever been told “everything looks normal” but you know something isn’t right—this conversation is for you.

Keywords: Shannon Salge, burnout recovery, gut health, autoimmune disease, mental health, chronic stress, nervous system healing, women’s wellness, hormone imbalance, emotional healing, functional nutrition, root cause healing, fatigue recovery, health advocacy, holistic healing

Meet Our Guest — Shannon Salge

Shannon Salge is the founder and CEO of The Wellness Paradigm, a virtual practice helping women move beyond symptom-chasing and heal at the root. As a functional nutritionist, metabolism and hormone expert, and autoimmune warrior, she blends science-backed testing with emotional and energetic healing to help women restore their health, energy, and resilience.

Website: https://www.thewellnessparadigm.com
Podcast: https://thewellnessparadigmpodcast.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shannon.salge/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shannon.salge/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shannon-salge
Brand Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_wellness_paradigm/
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-wellness-paradigm/id1809268079

Key Takeaways

Burnout and chronic illness often start long before symptoms show up in labs

Mental health and physical health are deeply connected—not separate issues

Treating symptoms without addressing root causes keeps you stuck

Nervous system regulation is a critical piece of long-term healing

Advocating for yourself in the medical system can change everything

There is no one-size-fits-all approach—alignment matters in healing

 

Actionable Items

Pay attention to patterns: when do your symptoms flare, and what’s happening in your life at that time?

Set one boundary this week that protects your energy or reduces stress

If something feels off in your body, trust that instinct and seek another perspective

 

Important Chapters

00:00 – Introduction and why mental health is part of total wellness
The hosts set the stage for a deeper conversation about the connection between mental and physical health.

05:00 – Shannon’s breaking point: from athlete to autoimmune diagnosis
Shannon shares how her high-performance lifestyle led to a complete physical collapse.

15:00 – Being dismissed by doctors and learning to advocate for yourself
A candid discussion on medical gaslighting and the importance of pushing for answers.

25:00 – The connection between stress, emotions, and physical illness
How unresolved emotional stress can manifest as physical symptoms.

35:00 – Discovering nervous system healing and setting boundaries
The moment Shannon realized stress and overworking were major contributors to her illness.

45:00 – Alternative healing methods and finding what works for you
Exploring bioresonance, functional medicine, and non-traditional healing approaches.

55:00 – Final thoughts: healing is possible, and you are not stuck
A powerful reminder that change is possible—even after years of feeling unwell.

 

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!
Remember to subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:
https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #BurnoutRecovery #GutHealthHealing #WomensWellness #HormoneHealth #ChronicIllnessSupport #NervousSystemHealing #RootCauseHealing #AutoimmuneAwareness #FunctionalNutrition #StressAndHealth #HealingJourney #HolisticHealth #HealthAdvocacy

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This week, we’re doing something a little different. As part of a special episode swap, we’re sharing a powerful episode from Renee Swanson of The Covert Narcissism Podcast—and this one is going to hit you right in the heart.

Mental Health Quote

“It’s not confusion—it’s communication. Different parts of you are trying to be heard.” — Renee Swanson

Episode Description

This episode is different—and intentionally so.

We’re bringing you a raw and deeply validating conversation from Renee Swanson, host of The Covert Narcissism Podcast, as part of a special episode swap. And if you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I still miss someone who hurt me?”—this is for you.

Renee breaks down the internal war so many survivors of covert narcissistic abuse experience. That push-and-pull between what you know is true and what you still feel isn’t weakness—it’s your internal system trying to protect you.

Using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework, she explains how different parts of you—like the “firefighter” that urges you to reconnect and the deeper “exile” carrying pain—are working overtime to keep you safe, even when it feels confusing or overwhelming.

This episode isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about understanding yourself. It’s about learning to sit with what’s coming up instead of judging it—and realizing that healing happens when you start listening inward instead of fighting yourself.

If this episode resonated with you, I highly recommend checking out Renee Swanson and her Covert Narcissism Podcast.
Her work goes so much deeper into understanding these patterns and helping you reconnect with yourself in a way that actually creates change—not just more awareness.
You can find her podcast wherever you’re listening right now. I’ll link her podcast and coaching in the show notes, so you can easily find her.

Keywords: covert narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, emotional abuse healing, trauma bonding, internal family systems, IFS therapy, toxic relationships, emotional healing, self-awareness, trauma recovery, attachment wounds, healing journey, self-trust

Meet the Host of The Covert Narcissism Podcast — Renee Swanson

Renee Swanson is the host of The Covert Narcissism Podcast and a coach dedicated to helping people make sense of emotionally abusive and confusing relationship dynamics. Through her work, she offers grounded, compassionate guidance to help listeners untangle internal conflict, rebuild self-trust, and reconnect with who they are after covert narcissistic experiences.

Podcast: https://bleav.com/shows/the-covert-narcissism-podcast/
Coaching: https://www.covertnarcissism.com/

Key Takeaways

Missing someone who hurt you is a normal part of trauma and attachment

Internal conflict is not weakness—it’s different parts of you communicating

“Firefighter” parts act urgently to protect you from deeper emotional pain

Healing begins when you stop judging your feelings and start listening to them

You don’t need to rush your healing—awareness is progress



Actionable Items

Pause when you feel the urge to reconnect and ask: what part of me is speaking right now?

Try Renee’s 6-step IFS process: find, focus, flesh, feel, befriend, fear

Practice responding to your emotions with curiosity instead of judgment



References Mentioned

The Covert Narcissism Podcast: https://bleav.com/shows/the-covert-narcissism-podcast/
Coaching with Renee Swanson: https://www.covertnarcissism.com/

Important Chapters

00:00 – Why you can still miss someone who hurt you
05:00 – Understanding internal conflict after narcissistic abuse
12:00 – Introduction to Internal Family Systems (IFS)
25:00 – Firefighters, managers, and exiles explained
40:00 – The 6-step process for navigating emotional triggers
55:00 – Building self-trust and ending the internal war

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!
Remember to subscribe for more powerful conversations like this from Renee Swanson and The Covert Narcissism Podcast.

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #CovertNarcissism #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #TraumaHealing #IFStherapy #EmotionalHealing #ToxicRelationships #SelfAwarenessJourney #HealingAfterAbuse #AttachmentHealing #InnerWork #SelfTrust

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.