Sex With Emily

Whether you're questioning who you're attracted to or wondering why someone incredible on paper leaves you feeling nothing below the waist, you're not alone. In this episode, I unpack the messy, confusing space between wanting someone and wanting to build a life with them—and why those two things don't always line up.

From a woman who's always identified as straight but can't stop fantasizing about women, to a listener who's been getting nothing but one-arm hugs after six dates, I get into the questions most people are too afraid to ask out loud. I also share what the science actually says about attraction—including why your post-gym crush might not be as real as it feels, and what your birth control could be doing to your "type."

In this episode, you'll learn:

 • Why putting a label on your sexuality might be the last thing you need to do right now—and what to try instead

 • The conversation that can save you months (or years) of wondering where you stand with someone who won't make a move

 • What to do when you and your partner are both waiting for the other person to take control in bed

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).

• Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Head to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply today!

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

Timestamps:

0:00 - Introduction 

1:56 - The science of sexual attraction 

5:01 - You can want someone without wanting to date them 

6:12 - Surprising facts about who you're attracted to (and why) 

9:19 - "Am I bisexual or do I just think women are hot?" 

10:50 - The one-arm hug situation 

15:25 - When your partner's meds killed your sex life 

20:40 - 19 years married and ready to give up 

25:31 - How to rekindle the spark after years together
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A Pressure-Free Reframe on Desire, Connection, and Sex

This isn't your typical Valentine's Day episode. I'm skipping the performance pressure and Pinterest-perfect expectations to focus on what actually matters: real connection. Drawing from thousands of your survey responses—and two decades of hearing the same struggles around desire mismatch, stress, and intimacy—I built this Valentine's guide around your actual pain points, not trending hashtags.

From why sensory play beats a five-star reservation to how sleep might be the sexiest gift you can give yourself, I break down the science and stories behind lasting desire.

In this episode, you'll learn:

 • Why prioritizing rest is actually foreplay—and how just one extra hour of sleep can increase desire by 14%

 • How to use your senses (not grand gestures) to create genuine intimacy and take the guesswork out of date night

 • The difference between romance as performance and connection your body actually feels—and why that distinction changes everything

The 2026 Sex With Emily Valentine’s Gift Guide: https://sexwithemily.com/the-2026-sex-with-emily-valentines-gift-guide/ 

2026 Sex With Emily Valentine’s Gift Guide Products Mentioned (find the full Guide above): 

• CERE Enchantment Gel⁠- Go to ⁠getcere.com

• Promescent Delay Spray- ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/sweggpromescent⁠⁠ 

• LELO TIANI 3 - ⁠www.lelo.com/tiani-3⁠  (Use code “SWE20”  for 20% off!)

• Visit ⁠Vyleesi.com⁠ for full prescribing information or consult a healthcare provider about Vyleesi. 

• Magic Wand Waterproof HV-360 - ⁠https://bit.ly/sweggmagicwandwaterproof⁠ 

• Airbnb - https://bit.ly/sweairbnb 

• Canyon Ranch - https://bit.ly/swecanyonranch 

• SmartSX- https://bit.ly/sweggsmartsxfreemonth 

• Womaness Coco Bliss- https://bit.ly/sweggwomanesscocobliss 

• Je Joue Naughty Gift Set- https://bit.ly/sweggnaughtygiftset 

• 1:1 Coaching With Emily- Complete this form: https://bit.ly/sweggprivatecoaching or Email [email protected] for more information! 

• Sex With Emily Yes!No!Maybe? List- Head to sexwithemily.com/guides

• Ohmibod Foxy Panty Vibe- https://bit.ly/sweggfoxy 

• Shop Sex With Emily Gift Card - https://bit.ly/sweggshopgiftcard 

• Crave Pleasure Jewelry -  https://bit.ly/sweggcrave 

• Pleasure Planner - sexwithemily.com/guides 

• Wisp - https://hellowisp.com/products/omg-cream  

• Common Confidential Massage Butter - commonconfidential.com (use the code SEXWITHEMILY for 15% off) 

• Essentia Mattresses - myessentia.com/

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).

• Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Reach out to [email protected] to learn more! 

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

Timestamps:

0:00 - Intro

2:03 - Why Connection Beats Romance Every Time

3:28 - Experience Gifts That Actually Build Intimacy

5:17 - Dating Advice: Be the Person You Want to Find

7:28 - Desire Doesn't Magically Appear—It's Created

9:35 - Foreplay Starts Way Before Touch

12:11 - Your Nervous System Is Your Sex Organ

16:41 - Self-Pleasure Is a Relational Skill

20:50 - When Your Libidos Don't Match

26:11 - Building Your Ideal Date Night Using Your Senses

29:52 - Why Sleep Is the Sexiest Gift You Can Give
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whether you've been with your partner for ten months or ten years, knowing what you actually want in bed is harder than it sounds—especially if you never got the chance to explore. In this episode, Dr. Emily takes listener calls about the real challenges that keep couples stuck: shame around masturbation, mismatched experience levels, and the fear that fading passion means something's broken.

From a wife who's never had a partner ask what she wants to a husband hiding his solo sessions in the basement, Emily breaks down why sexual self-discovery isn't selfish—it's essential. She also tackles what to do when your partner wants to swing but you're not sure, and why taking penetration off the table might be the fastest way to bring the heat back.

In this episode, you'll learn:

 • Why being a skilled lover has nothing to do with how many people you've slept with—and everything to do with curiosity and communication

• How to take the lead in bed without becoming a completely different person (even if you've always been submissive)

• The "hell yes or hell no" rule for navigating swinging, threesomes, and any sexual experience that makes you feel vulnerable

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).

• Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Reach out to [email protected] to learn more! 

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

Timestamps:

0:00 - Introduction

1:33 - McKenzie: Husband complains about sex life to others

4:36 - Why partner count doesn't determine sexual skill

6:14 - How to discover what you actually want in bed

9:37 - Experience is not a numbers game

10:43 - Dan: Feeling guilty about masturbating while married

13:06 - Why masturbation shame hurts relationships

15:41 - Sarah: Giving her husband a prostate orgasm for his 50th

19:04 - Switching from submissive to dominant in bed

23:02 - Alex: Girlfriend wants to try soft swapping

25:17 - Hannah: Taking sex off the table to reconnect

30:03 - Building intimacy without rushing to penetration
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Solo sex is one of the most powerful tools you have for better partnered sex — and most people are barely scratching the surface. In this throwback episode, Dr. Emily makes the case for why your relationship with yourself might be the most important sexual relationship you'll ever have.

From finding out what actually turns you on to using masturbation as a way to manage stress and boost confidence, Emily covers everything you need to know about flying solo — including how to bring toys into the mix without awkwardness. She also takes listener calls about navigating different libidos in relationships, dealing with performance anxiety, and figuring out how to ask for what you want in bed.

In this episode, you'll learn:

 • Why masturbation is essential for sexual self-awareness — not just a fallback when you're single

 • How to explore fantasies and toys on your own so you can communicate better with partners

 • The connection between solo pleasure, stress relief, and overall sexual confidence

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).

• Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Reach out to [email protected] to learn more! 

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

Timestamps:

0:00 - Introduction

1:30 - Why Masturbation Matters (Even If You Have a Partner)

3:05 - The G-Spot Myth: Why It's Really a "G-Area"

4:50 - First-Time Masturbation Guide for Women

8:17 - Choosing Your First Vibrator: What to Know

10:54 - Can You "Retrain" Your Body to Orgasm Without a Vibrator?

14:00 - Edging Explained: How to Intensify Your Orgasms

17:38 - Overcoming Shame and Religious Guilt Around Self-Pleasure

24:01 - The We-Vibe Melt: Why It's a Game-Changer

30:40 - Rapid Fire: Mismatched Libidos, BDSM, and Confidence Tips
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When the wedding’s over and real life kicks in, it’s so common for sex to shift — sometimes fast. In this throwback live show, Dr. Emily tackles the myth that marriage equals the end of your sex life, and breaks down how to bring back that “honeymoon energy” without forcing it or turning intimacy into another chore.

Emily shares a simple framework for staying connected long-term (including her idea of “sex vows”), then takes calls from listeners navigating a sudden post-marriage libido drop and the emotional whiplash of being single while everyone around you is getting engaged.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

 • Why desire often drops after commitment — and how to address it before resentment builds

 • Practical ways to revive novelty and reconnect (including “sex vows” you can actually use)

 • How to handle the pressure and loneliness when it feels like everyone else is getting married

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).

• Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Reach out to [email protected] to learn more! 

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

This episode is sponsored by…

Qualia: 

Magnesium, multiplied. 10 forms for total support. Go to qualialife.com/SEXWITHEMILY to get 50% off and save an extra 15% with the code SEXWITHEMILY. 

Timestamps:

0:00 - Introduction

3:26 - Current Trends in Sex and Relationships

5:25 - Essential Conversations Before Marriage

7:40 - Writing Your Sex Vows

9:49 - Planning Your Pleasure: Yes/No/Maybe List

12:39 - Recreating Honeymoon Sex Energy

16:00 - Q&A: When His Sex Drive Plummets After Marriage

22:30 - Q&A: Exploring Bisexuality in a Committed Relationship

25:24 - Q&A: Building a Sex Life You've Never Had

30:56 - Q&A: When Your Partner Doesn't Want Marriage
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices