Don’t Scare the Newbies!

Once again kirizal and S are watching a movie, and James Spader is playing a pervert (with hair)! This week W/we're discussing the 1996 movie Crash - but if you haven't seen it, come on in, the plot is light and the episode gets deep! W/we're here for the controversy and censorship that surrounded Crash on release, the intersection between sex, technology, and urban isolation, and asking the question does representation matter when fetishism is portrayed so far outside reality? Plus - what is non-diagetic kink, what can Crash tell U/us about how the eroticisation of a universal threat works, and a look at intensity as a kink in itself.
Content Note: This episode contains - as you might expect - discussion of car crashes, including injuries and fatalities. W/we also discuss consensual non-consent play including simulated sexual assault, fantasies about sexual assault, and misogyny.
Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com
Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

This week, kirizal and S get into all the gory details of blood play. From the visual appeal to the perceived - if not always actual - intensity, W/we chat about what it does for U/us and the unique sensations. W/we share some memorable scenes - including the first time W/we met and the first time W/we had sex, plus chat toys and techniques, the details of planning a scene, and the all important safety and risk tips. Plus - S finds out for sure that They're not a masochist in quite a spiky way, and kirizal finally discovers a kink they don't like.
Content Note: Strong, bloody violence throughout! Discussion includes needles, scalpels, spiky impact play, menstruation, and consensual non-consent play.
Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com
Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

BDSM model and author Ariel Anderssen (who is also kirizal's sister!) - joins U/us on the podcast this week. She shares her story of overcoming shame from a Jehovah's Witness upbringing and healing from abuse, discovering kink in the time before Fetlife, and stories from her long and impressive career. Plus - feminism and kink, kink community outside the munch and play event scene, and the impact of increasing censorship on the adult industry.
Content Note: Discussion of religious shame and the impact of child abuse
Ariel's new book, Dirty, is coming in early June. It's now fully funded, and you can find more information here: https://www.arielanderssenauthor.com/dirty
Follow Ariel on Substack: https://arielanderssen.substack.com/
Follow Ariel on X (NSFW Images): https://x.com/ArielAnderssen
Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com
Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

This week, S takes the lead with Their first time writing the episode outline (exciting!) as W/we tackle the topic of long distance relationships. While kirizal has never dated further than a couple of counties over, S spent three years in a relationship at a distance of 4000 miles. Covering the joy and creativity of long distance love, the challenges of supporting a partner when you can’t just pop over for a hug, how sex works when you rely on a phone line and a bluetooth connection, and navigating discipline and structure in power exchange when a submissive is unsupervised. And kirizal asks the hard hitting question - did S take dick pics?
Thanks to S’s ex partner for her behind the scenes perspective which was really valuable in shaping this episode!
Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com
Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

This week, Lydia - founder of luxury bondage brand Kilter - joins kirizal and S to put the Business Development, Sales, and Marketing into BDSM. W/we chat about the challenges of promoting adult businesses on social media, the realities of starting a BDSM brand, her dad’s enthusiasm for her business, and life as a kinky lesbian.
Find more of Lydia at:
https://bykilter.com/
https://www.subtlebond.com/
https://www.instagram.com/lydiacoulter_
https://www.tiktok.com/@lydiacoulter__
Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com
Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies