The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Most of us have people in our lives who love us — partners, friends, family — yet many of us still don’t feel as loved as we want to. Why is there such a gap between being loved and feeling loved? And what can we actually do about it?
Dr. Laurie sits down with social psychologists Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky and Dr. Harry Reis, co-authors of How to Feel Loved, to unpack the science behind this disconnect. They explain why feeling loved so often eludes us — even in close relationships — and share research-backed insights that can help us change the conversation, strengthen our connections, and feel more loved both now and in the relationships we build in the future.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most
"Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community"
"Social Ties and Susceptibility to the Common Cold"
"Toward Understanding Understanding: The Importance of Feeling Understood in Relationships"
"How to Get Through Hard Times: Principals' Listening Buffers Teachers' Stress on Turnover Intention and Promotes Organizational Citizenship Behavior"
How to Win Friends and Influence People
How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls
"Self-Expansion Theory: Origins, Current Evidence, and Future Horizons"
"Do Unto Others or Treat Yourself? The Effects of Prosocial and Self-Focused Behavior on Psychological Flourishing"
"Everyday Prosociality in the Workplace: The Reinforcing Benefits of Giving, Getting, and Glimpsing"
"Kindness Counts: Prompting Prosocial Behavior in Preadolescents Boosts Peer Acceptance and Well-Being"
"The Genomic Impact of Kindness to Self vs. Others: A Randomized Controlled Trial:
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What does it mean to live a meaningful life? How do you find direction when you feel stuck or you’re unsure about your purpose? Dave Evans and Bill Burnett, co-founders of the Stanford Life Design Lab and authors of How to Live a Meaningful Life join Dr. Laurie to challenge our assumptions about where meaning really comes from. They share practical strategies from the world of design thinking to create a more purposeful and fulfilling life while making the most of your current circumstances.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life
How to Live a Meaningful Life: Using Design Thinking to Unlock Purpose, Joy, and Flow Every Day
Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience
The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are
"Overly Shallow?: Miscalibrated Expectations Create a Barrier to Deeper Conversation"
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We often think creativity comes from sudden flashes of genius within us. But what if ideas actually exist in the world around us — waiting to be discovered and shaped by anyone paying attention?
Creativity expert Dr. George Newman, author of How Great Ideas Happen, explains how anyone can become a creativity "archaeologist," uncovering innovative ideas while avoiding common myths about creativity that keep us stuck.
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It’s easy to fixate on the usual markers of success — your resume, your net worth, or how “impressive” you seem on paper. But how much do those things really speak to our wellbeing? And what do we miss when we only focus on them?
Author and cultural commentator David Brooks reflects on what he learned when he moved beyond ambition, and shares some practical ways to get unstuck.
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Life has a way of upending even our best-laid plans. Breakups, job losses, scary health diagnoses — these unexpected changes can leave us feeling stuck and uncertain about what comes next.

Dr. Laurie speaks with her dear friend and former student, Dr. Maya Shankar, author of The Other Side of Change and host of A Slight Change of Plans, about how to navigate these major shifts, including practical tips for leaning into change instead of resisting it and reimagining the possible selves we can become in the new year.
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