The Meaning of Men

What if everything we think we know about male behaviour is only scratching the surface?

In this episode of The Meaning of Men I'm joined by Dr. Becci Owens, Head of Psychology at the University of Sunderland, to explore the deeper evolutionary forces shaping men, masculinity, and modern behaviour. From male competitiveness and risk-taking to status, relationships, and belonging, this conversation challenges mainstream narratives and invites a more nuanced understanding of what drives men today.

Drawing on evolutionary psychology, Dr Becci unpacks how unconscious biological and social mechanisms influence everything from adolescent behaviour to mate selection and fatherhood. Together, we explore why young men are drawn to risk, how status-seeking shows up in both destructive and prosocial ways, and why many boys today struggle with identity and belonging.

This episode is essential listening for anyone interested in male psychology, mental health, parenting boys, or understanding masculinity in a rapidly changing world. Expect thought-provoking insights, practical reflections, and a refreshing perspective that moves beyond surface-level explanations into the deeper “why” behind human behaviour.

 

In this episode you will learn:

How evolutionary psychology explains the deeper drivers of male behaviour

Why status, competition, and risk-taking are hardwired into men

How mating strategies shift across life stages and shape relationships

Why many boys and men struggle with belonging in modern society

How to channel masculine traits into positive, prosocial outcomes

 

Hear more from Dr Becci:

Instagram: @DrBecciO

University website: https://www.sunderland.ac.uk/about/academic-staff/rebecca-owens

 

Timestamps:

05:55: Becoming a Psychologist: A Personal Journey
10:25: The Lens of Evolutionary Psychology
16:48: Exploring Strategic Pluralism in Relationships
22:05: The Drive for Status in Men
29:19: Socializing Boys and Young Men
39:50: Bridging Gaps in Male Psychology Research

What does addiction actually feel like from the inside?

This week on The Meaning of Men I sit down with influencer and mentor Gary Mairs to explore addiction, sobriety, and the deeper emotional work required for lasting transformation. From a seemingly “normal” upbringing to years of alcohol dependency, Gary shares his raw and honest journey into addiction—and the pivotal moment that changed everything.

This episode goes beyond surface-level discussions of alcohol misuse. It dives into the psychology of addiction, the neurological grip of alcohol, and the cultural pressures that keep men trapped in destructive cycles. Gary unpacks how purpose, connection, and accountability became the foundations of his recovery, and why sobriety is about far more than simply “quitting drinking.”

Whether you’re struggling with alcohol, supporting someone who is, or simply seeking greater meaning and personal growth, this conversation offers profound insights into resilience, masculinity, and healing.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected, this episode will challenge your thinking—and show you what’s possible on the other side of change.

In This Episode You Will Learn

Why addiction is both a psychological and neurological cycle

The difference between stopping drinking and true sobriety

How connection and support accelerate recovery

The hidden cultural pressures that keep men stuck

Practical strategies to manage cravings and rebuild your life

Hear more from Gary:

https://www.instagram.com/sobernsound?igsh=b3diOTVrdzFyYXln&utm_source=qr

https://www.patreon.com/cw/SoberNSound

Timestamps:

06:01: The Vicious Cycle of Alcoholism
12:25: The Turning Point
24:00: The Importance of Understanding and Connection
29:16: Common Pitfalls in Recovery
34:46: Supporting Those Struggling with Alcohol
42:43: Final Messages of Hope and Inspiration

Why are men still dying by suicide at such alarming rates?

This week on The Meaning of Men we unpack the male suicide crisis and what’s really driving it with Dr Susie Bennett, one of the UK's leading researchers in this space. We explore the complex intersection of masculinity, mental health, loneliness, and emotional suppression—and why so many men feel unable to ask for help.

Drawing on cutting-edge research and lived experience, this conversation goes beyond statistics to reveal the deeper psychological and cultural factors behind male suicide. From the “empathy gap” to the pressure to be strong, successful, and self-reliant, we examine how societal expectations can leave men feeling isolated, ashamed, and disconnected.

Crucially, this episode also focuses on solutions. You’ll hear why connection, community, and redefining what it means to be a man are essential to preventing male suicide—and how we can all play a role in supporting the men in our lives.

In this episode you will learn:

What’s really driving male suicide rates

The impact of loneliness and social disconnection

How masculinity norms affect men’s mental health

Why men struggle to open up and seek support

Practical ways to better support the men in your life

Hear more from Dr Susie:

Website:malesuicideresearch.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/male_suicide_research/

Timestamps:

07:22: The State of Male Suicide: Trends and Concerns
12:43: The Empathy Gap: Societal Perceptions of Men
18:54: Cultural Factors Influencing Male Suicide
29:46: The Psychological Impact of Masculinity on Men
33:08: The Tenderness of Providing
35:19: Redefining the Role of Provider
37:33: The Crisis of Male Loneliness
41:01: Building Connections Among Men
45:03: Diverse Interventions for Male Mental Health
52:04: Recognizing Warning Signs of Distress
01:04: 16Hope for the Future of Boys and Men

Could your brain be holding answers you’ve never accessed?

In this episode of The Meaning of Men, I'm joined by clinical and sports psychologist Santiago Brand to explore brain mapping, neuroscience, and personalised mental health.

We dive into how brain mapping (qEEG) reveals the root causes of anxiety, depression, burnout, and focus issues—moving beyond guesswork toward precision mental health. Santiago explains how understanding your brain activity can help tailor therapy, medication, and performance strategies to the individual.

This conversation also explores proactive mental health, showing why men often wait until crisis point—and how tools like neurofeedback, breathwork, and lifestyle changes can improve brain function, emotional regulation, and resilience.

If you’re looking to optimise performance, better understand your mental health, or reduce overwhelm, this episode offers practical insights grounded in neuroscience.

In this episode you will learn:

What brain mapping is and how it works

How it identifies root causes of mental health challenges

Why personalised treatment improves outcomes

The role of neurofeedback and brain training

Practical ways to support brain health daily

 
Hear more from Santiago:

Website: https://www.santiagobrand.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/santiago-brand-a985905/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neurosantiago/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Santiago-Brand-61555834522930/

 
Timestamps:
 

04:39: The Journey into Brain Science and Neurofeedback
08:42: The Importance of Brain Mapping in Mental Health
12:48: Preventative Measures and Early Interventions
20:35: Empowerment Through Understanding Brain Function
24:10: Holistic Approaches to Brain Health
30:23: Training the Brain for Better Performance
36:19: Precision in Mental Health Interventions

What if being an introvert isn’t a limitation—but simply a label you’ve learned to live with?

In this episode of The Meaning of Men, I down with Nick Shelton, author of An Introvert's Guide to World Domination, to explore confidence, introversion, and the powerful role identity plays in shaping our lives.

Nick shares his story of growing up shy and socially awkward, often feeling misunderstood at school and unsure how to navigate social situations. Instead of accepting those labels, he began observing confident people and breaking down their behaviours into simple, learnable steps.

Drawing on lessons from his time in the Air Force, Nick explains how complex personal challenges—like social anxiety or low confidence—can be tackled through small, deliberate actions.

This conversation explores how many men become defined by personality labels such as “introvert,” and how questioning those assumptions can unlock new possibilities for personal growth, connection, and resilience.

If you’ve ever felt held back by shyness, social anxiety, or the belief that confidence simply isn’t “who you are,” this episode offers a refreshing perspective—and practical tools to start changing the story.

In this episode you will learn:

Why personality labels like “introvert” can limit personal growth

How to build confidence through small, practical steps

The power of observing and modelling confident behaviour

Lessons from military training that apply to everyday life

How to challenge the identity stories holding you back

Hear more from Nick:

Book: An Introvert's Guide to World Domination: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Introverts-Guide-World-Domination-Networker-ebook/dp/B08GDV7B4B/ref=sr_1_1?crid=KMAPPT6T12V0&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.IlGRyZIC2be9dgzVPV9i0c8Ph78cAJlcQa9JkLyjJr8._vDJArjgc68QswSwwL8Ri0GUx5BKVLM2RJ4a3wREFuw&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+introverts+guide+to+world+domination&qid=1773248876&s=digital-text&sprefix=the+introverts+guide+to+world+dominatio%2Cdigital-text%2C222&sr=1-1

https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicholasleonshelton/
 
https://nicksheltonspeaks.com/
 

Timestamps:

04:07: Understanding Introversion: A New Perspective
05:50: The Power of Observation
10:08: Building Authentic Connections
10:57: An Introvert's Guide to World Domination
14:43: Leveraging Strengths for Success
15:12: Navigating High-End Events
17:27: Networking as a Skill
19:34: Building Networking Muscles
24:46: Overcoming Introversion in Social Settings
29:35: The Power of Public Speaking
34:45: Daily Habits for Relationship Building
40:38: Empowering Introverts in Early Life