The Meaning of Men

What do boys and young men actually need from us right now?

In this episode of The Meaning of Men, I sit down with Lorraine Candy — journalist, editor and bestselling author — to explore what boys really need in today’s digital, headline-driven culture.

From emotional regulation and developmental vulnerability to social media, gaming and the “toxic masculinity” narrative, this conversation cuts through the panic and brings clarity to modern parenting. Lorraine explains why boys often lag behind girls emotionally, how media messaging distorts expectations, and why blanket bans on technology rarely solve the real problem.

We explore practical tools for raising emotionally healthy boys: setting boundaries with clear consequences, building connection through rituals, repairing ruptures after conflict, and meeting boys where they are — not where we think they should be.

If you’re parenting a son — whether he’s five or fifteen — and wondering if you’re getting it right, this episode offers grounded insight, reassurance and practical strategies to help boys grow into confident, compassionate and resilient men.

In this episode you will learn:

Why boys develop differently — and what that means for parenting

How media narratives shape fear around masculinity

Why connection beats control when setting boundaries

How to talk to boys about technology and influencers

The power of repair in strengthening your relationship

Disclaimer: Lorraine's advice is not specifically for anyone parenting neurodivergent teens or children with SEN. 

Hear more from Lorraine: 

Substack parenting newsletter: https://open.substack.com/pub/lorrainecandy

Lorraine's book: https://harpercollins.co.uk/products/mum-whats-wrong-with-you-101-things-only-mothers-of-teenage-girls-know-lorraine-candy
 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/CqkuOJeI01m/?igsh=MXB5N3d1ZzV5ZnFieg==

 

Timestamps:

04:05: Understanding Boys: Vulnerability and Development
06:42: The Impact of Media on Parenting Expectations
09:54: Emotional Development and Communication with Boys
12:46: The Role of Technology in Boys' Lives
15:54: Recognizing Behavioral Changes in Adolescents
18:36: Building Connections Through Rituals
21:45: Critical Thinking in Parenting: Media Influence
24:35: The Importance of Open Conversations About Emotions
33:06: Navigating the Impact of Social Media on Boys
34:45: Setting Healthy Boundaries for Teenage Boys
39:02: The Importance of Communication and Connection
41:58: Understanding Emotional Regulation in Boys
45:35: Maintaining Connections During Adolescence
50:04: Redefining Masculinity and Role Models
53:49: Reassurance for Parents Raising Boy

Why are Black men in America living 13 years less than their healthiest counterparts?

In this episode of The Meaning of Men, I sit down with Professor Derek M. Griffith, leading public health researcher and global expert on Black men’s health, to unpack the crisis hiding in plain sight.

From life expectancy gaps and suicide rates to structural racism, economic inequality and the commercial determinants of health, this conversation explores why Black men’s health outcomes remain among the worst in the United States — and what can be done about it.

Professor Griffith explains why he prefers the term manhood over masculinity, how identity and societal expectations shape behaviour, and why men’s health is too often framed as an individual failure rather than a policy priority.

If you care about men’s mental health, health equity, masculinity, fatherhood, purpose, resilience, and social justice — this episode is essential listening.

In this episode you will learn:

Why the 13-year life expectancy gap for Black men exists

How structural racism impacts physical and mental health

The difference between masculinity and manhood — and why it matters

Why men’s health is overlooked in public policy

Practical policy shifts that could transform outcomes for Black men

Hear more from Derek:

https://prmh.nursing.upenn.edu/

Timestamps:

03:11: The Journey to Addressing Men's Health
05:45: The State of Black Men's Health
10:49: Historical Context of Manhood and Masculinity
16:01: The Role of Provider in Black Communities
20:59: Defining Manhood vs. Masculinity
25:56: The Visibility of Men's Health Issues
30:58: Policy Changes for Men's Health
36:04: Hope for the Future of Men's Health

What do you do when staying where you are feels safer—but moving forward is the only way to survive?

In this episode of The Meaning of Men, I'm joined by Marine Corps veteran Jeremy Stalnecker to explore the life-defining philosophy of March or Die. Drawing from Jeremy’s combat experience in Iraq and his work supporting veterans, first responders, and men in crisis, this conversation goes deep into identity, trauma, resilience, and responsibility.

We unpack what happens when men tie their sense of self to a role, a past version of themselves, or a traumatic experience—and how that can quietly destroy relationships, purpose, and hope. Jeremy shares why victimhood can feel comforting, why doing nothing is often the most dangerous choice, and how true resilience is built before crisis hits. This episode is essential listening for men navigating transition, burnout, loss, or the quiet feeling of just existing rather than truly living.

In this episode you will learn:

Why “marching” is a daily decision, not a one-time breakthrough

How identity loss fuels anger, isolation, and hopelessness

The hidden comfort of staying stuck—and how to break free

Why responsibility is the gateway to freedom

How men can move forward even when the future feels unclear

Hear more from Jeremy:

Jeremy’s social media:

https://www.facebook.com/jeremystalneckerofficial

https://www.instagram.com/jeremystalnecker/

https://x.com/jstalnecker

https://www.youtube.com/@MightyOaksFoundation

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-stalnecker-63a2a17/

 

Jeremy’s website:

https://www.jeremystalnecker.com/

 

Timestamps:

03:47: The Journey from Military to Ministry
06:35: Reconnecting with Identity and Purpose
09:43: The Work of Mighty Oaks Foundation
12:46: March or Die: A Military Philosophy
15:35: Choosing to Move Forward
18:34: The Power of Decision-Making
21:32: Victim Mentality vs. Survivor Mindset
24:22: Identity and Trauma
27:28: The Challenge of Defining Masculinity
30:19: Understanding Trauma and Identity
36:17: The Importance of Preparation for Adversity
42:08: Navigating Change and Decision-Making
45:35: Finding Hope and Purpose in Life

What is misogyny really all about, and why do rigid ideas of masculinity harm boys and make them vulnerable to radical narratives?

In this episode of The Meaning of Men, I'm joined by Cynthia Miller-Idriss, one of the world’s leading experts on extremism, gender, and online radicalisation, to explore the deeper meaning of misogyny and why it matters for men’s mental health, belonging, and purpose.

Together, we unpack how misogyny often lays the cultural groundwork for extremist beliefs, hate-fuelled violence, and rigid models of masculinity that leave boys and men isolated, angry, and vulnerable. This conversation goes beyond blame, asking harder questions about loneliness, grievance-based online content, the influence of algorithms, and why so many men are searching for meaning in unhealthy places.

In this episode you will learn:

How misogyny becomes a gateway to extremism and mass violence

The hidden damage rigid masculinity does to boys — and why it fuels radicalisation

How influencers, algorithms, and grievance culture pull men down dark paths

Why loneliness and lost purpose leave men vulnerable — and what actually protects them

What “calling men in” really looks like, and how to build healthier paths to meaning

Hear more from Cynthia:

Book: Man Up - The New Misogyny and the Rise of Violent Extremism: https://press.princeton.edu/books/hardcover/9780691257549/man-up

 

Timestamps:

00:59: Cynthia's Journey and Academic Background
04:31: Understanding Misogyny and Its Broader Implications
08:46: The Link Between Misogyny and Extremism
12:04: Exploring Influencers and Their Impact on Men
16:39: The Man Box: Conditioning and Its Consequences
23:07: Finding Healthier Forms of Belonging
28:28: The Importance of Meaning and Purpose for Men
33:56: Hope for the Future: Engaging Conversations and Solutions

Why are men so often discouraged from caregiving roles?

In this episode of The Meaning of Men, I sit down with Joss Cambridge Simmons (aka Jossy Care), a male nanny and caregiver who is redefining what it means to be a man in today’s world. Together, we explore the rarely discussed role of male nannies, the stigma men face in caregiving roles, and why love, presence, and emotional safety are not weaknesses, but essential human strengths.

Joss shares his personal journey into childcare, how caregiving shaped his understanding of masculinity, and what children, families, and society gain when men show up with softness and intention. This conversation goes far beyond childcare — touching on fatherhood beyond biology, purpose-driven work, resilience in the face of judgement, and the importance of positive male role models in children’s lives.

Whether you’re a father, a caregiver, or a man questioning traditional expectations and masculinity, this episode offers insight, challenge, and inspiration for living with deeper meaning.

In this episode you will learn:

Why caregiving is a powerful expression of masculinity

How male nannies challenge outdated gender norms

The impact emotionally present men have on children

How love and softness build resilience in men

Why purpose often lies beyond society’s expectations

Hear more from Joss:

www.instagram.com/jossycare

 
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Timestamps:
 

01:50: Becoming a Male Nanny: A Unique Path
05:09: Challenging Misconceptions of Men in Caregiving
10:07: Demand for Male Nannies and Societal Shifts
18:20: Redefining Masculinity
23:13: The Role of Love in Personal Growth
29:47: Navigating Parenting Challenges
35:22: Creating Safety Over Discipline
40:14: Encouraging Male Involvement in Childcare