How to have Extraordinary Relationships

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In this deeply moving episode, Lucy Cavendish speaks with ceramic sculptor Fiamma Montagu about the death of her daughter Ischia, who died by suicide at the age of 17, and the long, complex journey of living with grief that followed.
Fiamma shares the shock and disbelief surrounding Ischia’s death, as well as her family’s experience of the mental health system and their concerns about the support Ischia received from CAMHS and other healthcare services despite previous suicide attempts.
She talks candidly about the surreal practicalities that accompany devastating loss, from arranging a funeral while barely able to function to pursuing an inquest and trying to understand the circumstances surrounding her daughter’s death.
The conversation also explores what healing can mean when there is no simple way to “move on.” Fiamma describes the practices that have helped her continue living, including exercise, breathwork, yoga, group therapy with other parents bereaved by suicide, Buddhist retreats and pilgrimages.
At the heart of her journey has been a growing connection with spirituality, self-love and acceptance. Rather than claiming to have overcome her grief, Fiamma speaks about learning to live alongside it and, in her words, to live “gracefully.”
Lucy and Fiamma also discuss creativity and the role of art in her life. Fiamma is an accomplished ceramic sculptor whose work has included involvement with the celebrated Tower of London poppy installation, alongside new public art commissions.
A powerful conversation about motherhood, profound loss, the shortcomings families can encounter within mental health care, and the possibility of finding meaning, connection and moments of beauty after unimaginable tragedy.
In this episode
The sudden reality of losing a child to suicide
Fiamma’s experience of CAMHS and mental health services
The forthcoming inquest
Navigating funeral arrangements and an inquest while grieving
Why physical movement and breathwork became important
Finding support among other suicide-bereaved parents
Buddhism, retreats, pilgrimage and spirituality
Self-love and learning to live alongside grief
The healing role of creativity and sculpture
Fiamma’s work on the Tower of London poppy installation
Learning to live “gracefully” without pretending grief disappears
Content note: This episode contains discussion of suicide, suicide attempts, bereavement and mental health difficulties. Please listen with care.

www.fiammamontagu.co.uk
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You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....

On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

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Bel Mooney is an acclaimed British journalist, broadcaster, author and long-running newspaper columnist whose career has spanned more than five decades. Best known for her thoughtful and compassionate advice column, Bel has become one of the UK's most trusted voices on relationships, family life and the everyday challenges of being human.
A familiar face and voice across television and radio, she has presented and contributed to programmes for the BBC, ITV and Channel 4, while also writing bestselling novels, memoirs and non-fiction. Her work is known for combining warmth, honesty and sharp insight, encouraging people to navigate life's complexities with empathy and resilience.
In this episode, Bel joins Lucy to explore love, friendship, family dynamics and what truly makes relationships flourish. Drawing on a lifetime of listening to people's stories, she shares practical wisdom, heartfelt reflections and timeless advice on building deeper, more meaningful connections.

Key Points of the episode:
Her variety of accents!
Her pride in her background
Her impressive CV and working life
How she never used to read the very thing she ended up writing!
How she marries after 3 months and divorced ater 35 years.
Why she does not like the term "agony aunt"
Her love of print media
How one powerful article left a lasting legacy in the world.
Some top tips for living well.
Read her column in the Daily Mail or check her out here:
www.belmooney.co.uk, or email bel@dailymail.co.uk
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Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?

You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....

On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

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Singer, songwriter, musician and renowned ukulele teacher Sam Brown on what happened when she lost her voice - an dhow she survived it. Her loss, as she explains, was triggered by trauma; the death of her wonderful mother at a relatively young age from cancer and her own marriage breakdown.
What do you do when your world is music? Best known for her iconic hit Stop! and a remarkable career performing with artists including Pink Floyd, David Gilmour, Jools Holland, George Harrison and Elton John, Sam has sold more than three million records worldwide. Then her voice just went.
She talks of how she tried everything to get is back but to no avail.
After losing her singing voice in 2007, Sam reinvented her musical life, building a thriving community through her Fabulous Ukulele Clubs, where she now teaches hundreds of students both in person and online. Her story is one of courage, humour and finding new purpose when life takes an unexpected turn. 
In this episode, we explore the healing power of music, the importance of human connection, and how extraordinary relationships can help us navigate life's biggest challenges with hope, authenticity and joy.
 It's an inspiring conversation about creativity, resilience and the relationships that shape our lives and, of course, the International Ukelele Club of Sonning Common.. 

Key Points of the Episode:
Her relationship with her singer Dad Joe Brown
Her beginnings in the music business
The shocking twist of fate that changed her life radically.
The mind/body reason for the loss of her voice
The eventual incredible (partial) solution
The club she started that grew exponentially
Her new music releases.
Her musings on past choices
The legacy she is leaving and her message.
www.misssambrown.com
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Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?

You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....

On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

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Maggie O'Kane is a highly-acclaimed, well respected journalists and documentary filmmaker with a career spanning more than four decades. Renowned for fearless investigative reporting, she first established her reputation covering conflicts across Eastern Europe and the Balkans before becoming one of The Guardian's most acclaimed foreign correspondents. Her reporting from the Siege of Sarajevo during the Bosnian War earned widespread praise for its vivid, compassionate storytelling and won her numerous journalism awards, including UK Journalist of the Year and the Amnesty International Media Award. 
After moving into documentary filmmaking, O'Kane became Editorial Director of Guardian Films, producing award-winning investigations into war crimes, human rights abuses, violence against women and global injustice. Her films have appeared on British and international broadcasters and have been recognised for combining rigorous journalism with powerful human stories. 
In recent years, Maggie O'Kane has devoted much of her work to ending Female Genital Mutilation (FGM). She helped lead The Guardian's groundbreaking global campaign against FGM, using journalism not simply to report the issue but to amplify the voices of survivors and frontline campaigners. The initiative highlighted the experiences of women and girls across Africa, the Middle East and migrant communities worldwide, bringing international attention to the issue through documentaries, investigations and public campaigns. 
Today she serves as Executive Director and co-founder of the Global Media Campaign to End FGM and is also Executive Director of Frontline Ending FGM. Working alongside grassroots organisations across multiple African countries, she champions locally led solutions, supports survivor networks, develops media campaigns and helps strengthen systems that protect girls at risk. Her approach has been widely recognised for placing affected communities, rather than outside organisations, at the centre of efforts to eradicate FGM. 
Throughout her career, Maggie O'Kane has demonstrated how journalism can do more than inform. By exposing injustice, giving a platform to survivors and helping drive international action, she has shown the powerful role investigative reporting can play in advancing human rights. Her work on FGM stands as one of the most significant examples of journalism being used as a catalyst for lasting social change.

Her list of professional accolades, and what she pioneers now.
Her backstory and how it all began.
Her story of being a "refugee from Belfast"
A meaningful coincidence.
The most dramatic situations she has been in.
How she felt invincible.
Why she was familiar with ethnic cleansing from her childhood, so could see through the lies in Yugoslavia.
The most terrifying experience of her life.
Why she should not have gone back to Belfast, but did 5 years later with her family.
The miscarriages she had (5).
Her dinner with Peter Mandelson.
Her experience with Nelson Mandela.
Her experience at a Buddhist retreat.
An exclusive and deeply honest reveal.
Her incredible work in the FGM world.
...and what needs to change...
But how they are passionately campaigning with a beautiful, celebratory campaign.
New laws being passed (albeit slowly)
www.globalmediacampaign.org

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Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?

You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....

On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

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Dr Susannah Self is a British composer, conductor and former mezzo soprano whose work spans opera, orchestral music and choral composition. 
She is a highly successful woman in what is predominantly a man's world. Her compositions garner international acclaim.
After an international singing career of more than 25 years, she turned her focus to composition, earning both an MPhil from the University of Cambridge and a PhD in Composition from Birmingham Conservatoire. She originally trained at the Royal College of Music, where she studied singing, composition and conducting, and also received scholarships from the Royal Society of Arts and the Banff Centre in Canada, where she worked with the pioneering composer John Cage. 
Self has composed four operas, including The Butt, based on Will Self's novel and premiered at the Musiktheatertage Festival in Vienna, and Quilt Song, first performed in Birmingham in 2018. Her orchestral catalogue includes four symphonies, two of which have been recorded by the Moravian Philharmonic Orchestra. Her music has been commissioned by organisations including the Arts Council England, Birmingham Opera Company, Birmingham Contemporary Music Group and the Spitalfields Festival, and is published by Composers Edition. 
Alongside her composing, Dr Self teaches at Junior Guildhall and has conducted numerous operatic productions. As a performer, she appeared with leading opera companies across Europe, including the Royal Opera House, Glyndebourne, Opera North and the Vlaamse Opera, singing a wide repertoire from Mozart and Britten to Philip Glass and contemporary works. Today, she continues to combine composition, conducting and education while championing new music and opera.

Key points of the episode:
Her life, composing and life in a man's world.
Is her world as glamourous as it looks?
How she was originally advised to be an opera singer and why.
How employment differs in the UK and Europe and the best way to succeed.
What she was like as a little 3 year old girl
How women composers were discouraged.
The flow state of composing.
The therapy she went through - Jungian style.
The delicious response her therapist had to her doubts.
Her amazing relationship with her "perfect match" partner
How composers earn money (at the top)
....and not.
Conducter - or poet?
How she makes a living- the same as the greats..
Her sense of and interest in spirituality, but not religion as such.
How brave you have to be- self daring
What she would say to her 3 year old self.
See her on her publishers websites
Composers Edition << UK
Universal Edition << Vienna
Substack
Next Performances - (Facebook)
You Tube
Soundcloud (ad free)

Support the show
Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?

You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....

On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/