Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast

• Episode 137: The Wheel of Consent: A New Approach to Intimacy

  What actually goes on when you attend a session with a sex therapist and what are some of the tools they use to try and help singles and couples to overcome their challenges around sex. After a hundred or more episodes, in which I suspect I have overlooked many of the practical aspects of sex therapy, I decided to use my conversation with Dr. Denise Renye to get into the nitty gritty of her profession.We begin by addressing the natural nervousness many of her clients feel when stepping into therapy for the first time. Dr. Renye reassures us that this is completely normal and shares practical tools to help ease into the process, creating an environment where they can feel safe and understood. She then introduced me to the "Wheel of Consent," a powerful tool that clarifies how we can navigate our desires and boundaries. We also talked about the practice of sensate focus, a method that encourages couples to reconnect with their partner by focusing on touch and sensation rather than performance. This approach invites them to shift their attention toward presence and shared experiences, helping to reignite the spark in their intimate lives. She reminds us that intimacy isn’t about perfection—it’s about being present with one another.We also explored the importance of setting boundaries, a vital part of building trust and safety in any relationship. Dr. Renye guided me through ways we can establish and respect boundaries, helping us create relationships that feel secure and fulfilling. For those of us who may struggle with performance anxiety, she introduces the "4D Wheel," a tool designed to help us reframe our anxieties and approach intimacy with curiosity and compassion.I hope you find these tools useful and would encourage you to find out more about them. You can find Dr. Denise Renye here.00:00 Understanding Sex Therapy02:47 Navigating Nervousness in Therapy06:08 The Wheel of Consent Explained08:55 Comparing Consent Tools11:46 Sensate Focus and Its Benefits14:52 Re-engaging with Intimacy18:07 Exploring Boundaries in Intimacy20:59 The 4D Wheel and Performance Anxiety24:00 Resources for Sexual Health27:07 Closing Thoughts on IntimacyDr. Denise Renye has specialised training and has worked directly with people in the areas of sexuality, relationships, states of consciousness, psychedelic integration and intimacy. She holds several degrees and accreditations. You can find out more about her here.Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my upcoming guide Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber!Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £9.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

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• Episode 136: Interview with Ally Iseman

  In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors I had the pleasure of speaking with fellow Substacker Ally Iseman, a relationship coach and self-proclaimed non-monogamy nerd, about the nuances of ethical non-monogamy and its implications for older adults exploring new relationship dynamics. This is an area in which I’m too familiar, having been in several relationships, both serious and casual, in which monogamy was not part of the construct. And I am now in a situationship, which has some degree of flexibility around it.We delved into the importance of communication in relationships, particularly when considering non-traditional structures like polyamory and swinging. Ali emphasised that understanding and articulating one's needs and boundaries are crucial, regardless of the relationship style. Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.We also discussed the challenges and misconceptions surrounding non-monogamy, such as jealousy and societal expectations, and how these can be navigated through open dialogue and self-awareness. Although monogamy comes with its own particular challenges, so do relationships that may involve multiple partners.Our conversation highlighted the potential for personal growth and fulfilment through exploring different relationship dynamics, especially later in life when individuals may seek new experiences or have different emotional and physical needs.Chapters00:00 Exploring Non-Monogamy and Relationships09:58 Communication in Non-Monogamous Relationships20:10 Understanding Jealousy and Compersion30:04 Navigating Relationship Dynamics in Later LifeYou can find Ali here:If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my upcoming guide Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber!Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £9.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

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• Episode 135: Interview with Anna Marti

  I’m always intrigued by what inspires ‘sexperts’ to help others navigate the challenges within their sexual relationships. For many I’ve met, their journey into this field is often deeply personal, shaped by their own experiences and struggles.In this recent conversation, intimacy coach Anna Marti, whom I have met before, shared her path to becoming an intimacy coach. Her journey was profoundly influenced by her experiences with trauma in relationships, particularly with a long-term partner who had a traumatic sexual history. Their shared effort to rediscover sexual pleasure and connection ultimately motivated Anna to pursue a career as a counsellor and learn how to heal others who found it difficult to move on from their traumatic past.Our discussion delved into the cultural influences on sexuality, the critical role of communication in intimacy, and the importance of redefining pleasure beyond conventional ideas of sex. Anna highlighted the value of bridging body and spirit, dispelling misconceptions about intimacy, and embracing playfulness in relationships.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Intimacy Coaching03:01 Understanding Trauma and Relationships05:59 Exploring Sexuality and Cultural Influences08:56 The Role of Communication in Intimacy11:51 Redefining Sex and Pleasure15:06 Bridging Body and Spirit18:02 Misconceptions About Intimacy21:11 Finding Playfulness in Relationships23:54 Key Takeaways on Connection and HealingYou can find Anna here: https://annamarti.comThousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my upcoming guide Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber!Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £9.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

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• Episode 134: Interview with Amara

  It was great to welcome back Amara Charles to Sex Advice for Seniors, a relationship and sexual empowerment expert and best selling author of three books. I really love this woman - she has a wonderful calm energy about her and she positive lights up when she talks about her work.In this episode I was keen to delve into the practise of concept of Quodoushka, which represents the fusion of energies to create a greater whole. Amara is an expert on this ancient practise, having written a book about it, and believes there are nine male and female genital anatomy types--such as Coyote Man or Buffalo Woman. I know it all sounds very woo woo, but when Amara is talking about it, it actually makes perfect sense because I certainly have known men who liked to howl like a coyote during sex (I used to worry he would wake up the neighbours). Amara discusses the three essential pillars of ageless sexuality: embodied presence, resonant communication, and sexual alchemy. Through personal stories and insights, we explore how understanding one's genital anatomy can enhance sexual experiences, the importance of acceptance in pleasure, and the potential for growth and vibrancy in sexuality as one ages. Ultimately, I’m a great believer in that whatever system works in helping us become closer, more intimate, with our partner(s), the better. And Amara has certainly witnessed, as we discussed, the transformative power using Quodoushka can have on our clients.If you’d like to find out more about Amara visit her website:https://amaracharles.com/https://www.youtube.com/@amaracharles7203Here Mystic Rapture Couples Intimacy Retreat is being held in Costa Rica May 3-10, 2025. It sounds AMAZING. Chapters00:00 Introduction to Kodoshka and Amara Charles10:32 Understanding Genital Anatomy Types22:53 The Third Pillar: Sexual AlchemyThousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my upcoming guide Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber!Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £9.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

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• Episode 133: Interview with The Gen X Sexologist

  One of the recurring topics in my conversations with older people is how to navigate a sexless relationship, especially when one person in the partnership wants more sex than the other. Having spent the last four years of my own marriage celibate, I am familiar with this dynamic. In my case, my sexual dissatisfaction was not defined by my ability to orgasm (which I had always taken control of) but more of an inability to communicate my desires and a lack of vernacular around sex and overall confidence to even know how to start the conversation.In my conversation with sexologist Renée Yvonne we discuss the challenges of navigating sexless relationships, the importance of communication about desires, and the need for understanding female pleasure. We explore how sexual satisfaction impacts overall well-being and the emotional toll of unmet sexual needs. Renée shares her experiences and insights as a certified sex counsellor, offering practical advice for couples to enhance intimacy and connection.There’s no age-specificity when it comes to learning how to talk about sex. Whether with a new partner or in a long-term relationship, we can all benefit from improving our communication skills in this area. 00:00 Navigating Sexless Relationships09:55 Communication and Desire20:01 Understanding Female Pleasure29:57 The Impact of Sexual Satisfaction on Well-beingYou can find Renée Yvonne here:www.thegensexologist.comrenee@thegensexologist.comListen to previous episodes of her The Gen SeXy Podcast here.Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my upcoming guide Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber!Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £9.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

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