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All Things Conflict

Maria Arpa MBE
All Things Conflict
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  • The Future of Work: Embracing Conflict as a Catalyst for Innovation and Creativity
    Maria engages in a thought-provoking conversation with David Liddle, founder of Total Conflict Management (TCM). They explore the transformative power of conflict resolution in workplace culture, emphasizing the importance of addressing unresolved conflict and fostering constructive dialogue. David shares his journey from community mediation to developing innovative frameworks that prioritize empathy, collaboration, and restorative practices in organizational settings. The discussion highlights the detrimental effects of traditional grievance procedures and the need for a shift towards more inclusive and supportive systems that empower individuals and promote high performance. With insights drawn from David's extensive experience and upcoming publications, this episode offers valuable perspectives on creating healthier work environments and the role of HR in driving cultural transformation. KEY TAKEAWAYS Transformative Nature of Conflict: Conflict can be both destructive and transformative. When handled well, it can lead to positive outcomes and foster engagement, creativity, and innovation in the workplace. Importance of Early Resolution: Addressing conflicts early through constructive dialogue and resolution frameworks can prevent escalation and create a healthier work environment. This proactive approach is more effective than traditional grievance procedures. Redesigning Conflict Management Systems: Current grievance and disciplinary systems often perpetuate a two-tier justice system that employees do not trust. There is a need for objective criteria and processes that promote fairness and transparency in conflict resolution. Human-Centric Approach: Understanding truth as a human experience rather than a binary, evidence-based concept is crucial. Engaging in meaningful conversations allows individuals to connect and understand each other's perspectives, leading to better outcomes. Cultural Transformation through People and Culture Functions: By shifting the focus of HR from managing risks to fostering a people and culture-centric approach, organizations can drive significant cultural transformation, enhance employee engagement, and improve overall performance. SOCIAL LINKS www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk www.workplacehuddle.com HOST BIO Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).   Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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  • Healthy Conflict Resolution: Strategies for Effective Leadership and Team Dynamics
    In this episode of "All Things Conflict," Maria Arpa engages in a thought-provoking conversation with John Cullum, a seasoned leader with extensive experience in both corporate and charitable sectors. They explore the nuances of conflict in leadership, emphasising the importance of listening and empathy in navigating challenges within organisations. John shares insights from his diverse career, including his time at Ford Motor Company and various non-executive roles, highlighting the significance of healthy debate and the value of 360-degree feedback in fostering better communication among teams. The discussion also touches on the evolving nature of leadership, the privilege of guiding others, and the necessity of balancing strategic decision-making with a deep respect for individual perspectives. As they conclude, John encourages listeners to embrace open-mindedness and continuous learning as essential components of effective leadership and conflict resolution. KEY TAKEAWAYS Importance of Listening: Effective conflict resolution in leadership requires active listening and understanding different viewpoints. Leaders should prioritize listening to foster better communication and collaboration. Healthy Conflict vs. Counterproductive Conflict: While conflict is inevitable in any organization, it can be healthy when it leads to constructive debate. However, heated and unproductive exchanges can hinder progress and require careful management. Value of Diverse Perspectives: A well-structured board should include diverse viewpoints and skill sets. This diversity enhances decision-making and helps organizations better understand their stakeholders' needs. Privilege of Leadership: Leadership roles come with the privilege of making impactful decisions. Leaders should recognize this privilege and use it to benefit both the organization and its employees, fostering a culture of respect and engagement. Continuous Learning and Humility: Embracing a mindset of curiosity and humility is essential for personal and professional growth. Leaders should remain open to learning from experiences and recognize that their titles do not define their worth or humanity. BEST MOMENTS "If the leadership aren't aligned or they're having their own conflicts, it will have an impact all the way through." - Maria Arpa "Conflict is at the heart of it. I would say, in general, the conflicts I've handled have been largely what I call healthy." - John Cullum "The best run companies are those that engage better with their employees and listen." - John Cullum "The secret is never to hope that events will turn out the way you want, but welcome events, whatever way they happen." - John Cullum "Your humanity doesn't go away. You can develop it and acquire it, but titles, they go away overnight." - John Cullum SOCIAL LINKS www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk www.workplacehuddle.com HOST BIO Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).   Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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  • The Philosophy of Systemic Win: How Leaders Can Foster Flourishing Systems
    Maria Arpa welcomes back philosopher Paul Baker to delve into the complexities of leadership, board dynamics, and the philosophy of Systemic Win. They explore how boards can assess their effectiveness not only through self-evaluation but also by considering the perspectives of those affected by their decisions. Paul emphasizes the importance of moving beyond a punitive, adversarial mindset to foster a culture of collaboration and learning. Through engaging examples, including a poignant story about a charity's evolution, they discuss the critical relationship between leaders and followers, the necessity of open communication, and the need for systemic awareness in decision-making. The conversation highlights the significance of nurturing relationships and accountability within organizations to achieve a more holistic and sustainable approach to leadership. KEY TAKEAWAYS Assessment of Board Effectiveness: It's crucial for boards to evaluate their own effectiveness, as well as how they are perceived by those who appointed them and those affected by their decisions. This includes understanding the subjective and objective measures of success. Systemic Win Philosophy: The concept of systemic win emphasizes the importance of creating environments where all parties involved feel good about the outcomes, leading to a cycle of positive reactions rather than unsatisfactory ones. This approach encourages collaboration and mutual benefit. Feedback Mechanisms: Effective leadership requires establishing systems for feedback that go beyond mere results. Leaders should actively seek input from their teams and stakeholders to understand the dynamics at play and adjust their strategies accordingly. Power Dynamics in Leadership: The relationship between leaders and followers is critical. Leaders should foster an environment of collaboration rather than exerting power over their team, as this can lead to distorted feedback and hinder progress. Complexity of Systems: Understanding that organizations operate within complex systems is essential. Leaders must balance short-term and long-term perspectives and be aware of the interconnectedness of various elements within the system to make informed decisions. BEST MOMENTS Maria Arper: "So the real problem we've got is someone does something that doesn't work very well... then reacts in an unsatisfactory way to it. So there's basically a spiral of unsatisfactory reactions." Paul Baker: "If you don't pay sufficient attention in the moment, you've got a problem. And if you don't pay sufficiently wide and long-term attention, you've got a problem." Maria Arper: "When we use power over instead of power with... the feedback that you get isn't really going to be useful because there's too much at stake for them to tell you the truth." Paul Baker: "Hierarchy can be a tyranny, but it can also be freedom. Having the right relationship with hierarchy... needs to also have some level of flexibility." Maria Arper: "If what I'm saying to you makes sense, well, talk to you and your team, because you are very good at getting people to get the reality of what they're dealing with." SOCIAL LINKS www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk www.workplacehuddle.com   HOST BIO Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).   Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.   This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/   Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/
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  • Emotional Intelligence in Leadership: Lessons from Simon Woodroffe's Business Evolution
    In this episode of "All Things Conflict," Maria engages in a thought-provoking conversation with Simon Woodroffe, the founder of Yo Sushi and Yotel, and a former dragon on Dragon's Den. Simon shares his journey from a headstrong entrepreneur with little formal education to a leader who values connection and rapport in business. He reflects on the challenges of navigating relationships in the entrepreneurial world and emphasizes the importance of building goodwill and trust. The discussion touches on personal development, the significance of emotional connections in leadership, and the cultural differences in service and teamwork. Simon also shares pivotal moments in his life that led to his transformation, highlighting the necessity of self-love and respect in fostering meaningful relationships. This episode is a rich exploration of leadership, personal growth, and the evolving nature of business in today's world. KEY TAKEAWAYS Vision and Imagination: Having a clear vision and the ability to imagine what you want to achieve is crucial for success in entrepreneurship. This vision helps guide decisions and actions toward achieving goals. Importance of Relationships: Building rapport and maintaining good relationships with others is essential in business. Creating goodwill allows for more effective collaboration and can lead to better outcomes. Personal Growth and Self-Trust: Trusting oneself is foundational for being able to lead and inspire others. Personal development, including overcoming challenges and learning to love oneself, is key to becoming a more effective leader. Balancing Drive and Connection: While being driven and focused on results is important, it is equally vital to connect with people on an emotional level. This balance can lead to greater collaboration and success in business endeavors. Learning from Experience: The journey of entrepreneurship often involves learning from mistakes and adapting one's approach over time. Embracing the lessons from past experiences can lead to personal and professional growth. BEST MOMENTS "I always used to say, you know, business is easy. It's people that are difficult." - Simon Woodroffe "If you can imagine what something is, or what you want to get to, you've got a chance of getting there." - Simon Woodroffe "I think the bank of goodwill is a very good way to put it." - Simon Woodroffe "You can't really trust other people until you can trust yourself." - Simon Woodroffe "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all." - Simon Woodroffe SOCIAL LINKS www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk www.workplacehuddle.com   HOST BIO Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).   Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.   This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/   Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/
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  • The Role of Transparency in Conflict Resolution: A Conversation with Alex Dunlop
    In this episode of "All Things Conflict," Maria welcomes lawyer and mediator Alex Dunlop, an expert in international dispute resolution. The conversation delves into the complexities of workplace conflicts, particularly at senior management levels, exploring common pitfalls such as pride, ego, and miscommunication. Alex shares insights from his extensive experience, emphasizing the importance of transparency and the often-overlooked psychological aspects of conflict, including the impact of media scrutiny and social dynamics reminiscent of schoolyard behavior. The discussion also touches on the challenges of power imbalances in mediation and the need for empathy and understanding in resolving disputes. With a blend of humor and wisdom, Alex and Maria highlight the inevitability of conflict and the potential for positive outcomes through effective communication and mediation strategies. KEY TAKEAWAYS Common Causes of Conflict: Pride, ego, and miscommunication are often the primary drivers of conflict in workplace settings. Senior individuals may become entrenched in their positions due to fear of losing face, making resolution more challenging. Impact of Perception vs. Reality: There is often a significant gap between how individuals perceive the consequences of conflict (e.g., fearing job loss) and the actual reality, which may not be as dire. This misperception can exacerbate anxiety and defensiveness. Role of Transparency: A lack of transparency in communication can lead to catastrophization, where individuals fill information gaps with worst-case scenarios. Providing clear, honest communication can alleviate fears and reduce conflict. Power Imbalance in Mediation: When mediating conflicts involving power imbalances, it is crucial to separate organizational hierarchy from individual disputes. Focusing on the personal dynamics between the parties can help address the underlying issues more effectively. Conflict as a Natural Part of Life: Conflict is an inevitable aspect of human interaction, and rather than viewing it solely as negative, it can be seen as an opportunity for growth and understanding. Acknowledgment and empathy are often more desired outcomes than punitive measures. BEST MOMENTS "I think the answers usually are pretty simple, aren't they? Certainly pride and ego, for sure. That's probably my top two." - Alex Dunlop "Whenever there's a gap in information, the human... we fill that gap with the worst case scenario." - Alex Dunlop "I think a lot of fear of scapegoating in those type of organizations, particularly at very, very senior levels." - Alex Dunlop "I think conflict's absolutely inevitable. The world would be a very, very dull place without it." - Alex Dunlop "Nobody wakes up in the morning and thinks, right, I'm going to go and make somebody's life really miserable." - Alex Dunlop SOCIAL LINKS www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk www.workplacehuddle.com HOST BIO Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).   Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/   Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/
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About All Things Conflict

Who doesn't have conflict in their lives? Whether at work, at home or somewhere out in the world we are all affected by conflict even when it is indirect. The impact of poorly managed conflict can devastate lives. With 30 years’ experience mediating conflict and training peacemakers, Maria has held people’s hearts through everything from workplace hostility, board room battles, belligerent teenagers, separated parents at loggerheads to neighbours at war, street gang rivalries, threats to life and business deals gone wrong. In this podcast Maria lifts the lid on why we fight and how we can resolve conflict and design it out of our lives. Maria’s mission is to reduce unnecessary human suffering through conscious awareness, facilitated dialogue and trauma healing, using her communications tool, the Dialogue Road Map.
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