All Things Conflict

In this episode of Justice Redesigned, host Maria sits down with Kristyna Hawkett, founder of the Minus One Club and a dedicated divorce and separation coach. Kristyna describes the experience of divorce not as a journey, but as an "emotional earthquake" that leaves families scrambling to repair structural damage while facing ongoing aftershocks.

We dive deep into the staggering reality of the family court system, where over 14,000 new applications are filed quarterly, affecting more than 20,000 children every three months. Kristyna explains how "legalese" and the adversarial nature of the justice system can strip parents of their confidence, leaving them feeling "incapable" and "scared". This conversation is a must-listen for anyone looking to navigate separation with humanity, protect their children from systemic trauma, and avoid the devastating financial and emotional costs of a high-conflict court battle.

Key Takeaways


The Myth of the "Winning" Parent: In the world of divorce, there are no winners; the biggest losers are almost always the children.


The Emotional Earthquake: Divorce isn't just a legal process; it is a traumatic event that affects the entire family dynamic, including grandparents, aunts, and uncles.


The Dangers of "Legalese": Entering the justice system introduces a confusing language (jargon) that can make parents feel vulnerable and reduce their confidence in decision-making.


The Judge’s Perspective: Contrary to popular belief, family court judges have very little time (often under 40 minutes) to review cases and have low tolerance for co-parent "squabbling".


Systemic Overload: Every three months, under 2,300 Cafcass workers are tasked with interviewing and reporting on the lives of over 20,000 children.


The Financial Toll: High-conflict court battles can lead to families losing up to half the value of their home in legal fees over just a couple of years.


A Radical Proposal: Christina advocates for an "in-between stage" after filing an application but before seeing a judge, designed to divert families toward resolving their own issues and protecting children from social care intervention.

SOCIAL LINKS

⁠⁠⁠⁠www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠www.workplacehuddle.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

Kristyna Links

https://www.minusone.club/

https://uk.linkedin.com/in/kristyna-hawkett8

HOST BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).  

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

In this episode of Justice Redesigned, host Maria Alper sits down with Lukasz Konieczka, the founder and CEO of Mosaic, a charity supporting LGBT+ young people. Lukasz, an expert on intersectionality and social justice, discusses his "Belonging Framework" and how it serves as a pragmatic tool for fostering inclusion across both the non-profit and corporate sectors.

The conversation dives deep into the systemic issues plaguing modern society, from the "domination culture" that fuels transphobia and hate crimes to a piercing critique of how capitalism necessitates exploitation. Lukasz also shares a radical vision for the future of the penal system, arguing for a shift toward the "Dutch model" of prisons where dignity and humanity are restored to those in care.


Key Takeaways

The Belonging Framework: Originally designed for LGBT+ youth, this framework identifies specific behaviors that contribute to a person feeling they truly belong within an organization.


The "Canary in the Mine": Trans women are often the first to be attacked in a regressing society; Lukasz notes that when oppression against one group increases, hate crimes across other categories typically rise as well.


Agency and Longevity: Providing individuals with even small choices—a sense of agency—is scientifically linked to increased well-being and life expectancy, particularly in controlled environments like nursing homes or schools.


Capitalism as Injustice: Lukasz argues that capitalism inherently functions through the "theft" of labor and natural resources, prioritizing individualism and profit over sustainable social solutions.


The Dutch Prison Model: A plea to move away from dehumanizing, high-security environments in favor of simulated "outside world" environments that treat residents with dignity, privacy, and humanity.


Intersectionality in Care: Effective support requires challenging internal biases (such as racism or sexism) even within marginalized communities to ensure young people become part of the solution rather than the problem.

SOCIAL LINKS

⁠⁠⁠www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠www.workplacehuddle.com⁠⁠⁠

Lukasz Links

https://www.mosaictrust.org.uk/

https://uk.linkedin.com/in/lukaszkonieczka

HOST BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).  

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. ⁠⁠⁠https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/⁠⁠

In this episode of All Things Conflict, Maria sits down with Issy Adamopoulos , a mediator and barrister called to the bar who has dedicated her academic career to uncovering the systemic flaws in the UK legal system. Issy shares insights from her two groundbreaking dissertations on institutional racism and institutional misogyny within the justice system.

Together, they challenge the traditional "black and white" view of guilt and punishment. Issy argues that the current penal system is failing society by dehumanising individuals and ignoring the complex, traumatic contexts that lead to crime. From discussing the "Scandinavian model" of rehabilitation to the radical potential of implementing mediation at every stage of the legal process, this conversation reimagines a justice system built on humanity, education, and empathy.

Key Takeaways


The Failure of Punishment: Punishment is often used to satisfy victims' families, but research shows that dehumanising treatment in prison actually increases the likelihood of reoffending upon release.

The Root of Institutional Bias: Systemic racism in stop-and-search and misogyny in sexual assault investigations often stem from unconscious biases and a lack of education on how trauma affects memory and behavior.


Mediation as a Systemic Tool: Mediation should not just be an alternative; it should be integrated throughout the entire criminal justice process—from arrest to the courtroom—to uncover the "why" behind actions and restore humanity to the process.


Context Matters: We cannot fairly punish individuals for reactions to unfortunate circumstances or societal failings without addressing the root causes and individual trauma.


Malleability of Memory: The legal system relies on black-and-white evidence, but human memory is scientifically proven to be malleable, meaning inconsistencies in a victim's or perpetrator's story are often a natural human journey rather than malicious lying.


A New Educational Standard: Radical reform starts with empathy training and a deep education on colonial history and patriarchal values starting from a young age.

SOCIAL LINKS

⁠⁠www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org⁠⁠

⁠⁠www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk⁠⁠

⁠⁠www.workplacehuddle.com⁠⁠

HOST BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).  

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. ⁠⁠https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/⁠

In this episode of All Things Conflict, we explore the "internal emotional landscape" that dictates how we engage with the world. Our guest David Ellis argues that modern society is built on a "domination culture" of competition and excellence that fundamentally clashes with the heart of social justice. By moving away from institutional "head-knowledge" and toward heart-led empathy, we uncover a radical new way to view human connection from the way we treat people on the street to how we could completely overhaul the Ministry of Justice.

We dive into the concept of "Clink Ink," a visionary proposal to transform prisons from warehouses of punishment into creative business hubs where inmates pay for their own keep through entrepreneurship and restitution.

Key Takeaways

The Myth of Competition: The drive to be "better" than others often acts as a shadow that prevents us from achieving true social balance.

Conscience over Morals: While ethics are developed to help our minds understand fairness, "conscience" is the immediate feeling that something isn't right—a voice often drowned out by the speed of modern life.


Heart-Led Social Justice: True justice isn't just about the distribution of wealth; it is about how we care for one another on a moment-by-moment basis without the filter of social "propaganda" or fear.


Empathy vs. Sympathy: Charitable sympathy often maintains the status quo, whereas empathy creates a sustainable mechanism for change.


Radical Prison Reform (Clink Ink): By treating the prison population as "customers" with creative intelligence, we can build successful companies (banks, insurance, etc.) inside walls that allow for proper restitution and learning.


The Natural Will to Give: Every human has a genuine desire to join in and offer something; the "no" we often hear is usually just a temporary conditioning or a self-imposed wound getting in the way.

SOCIAL LINKS

⁠www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org⁠

⁠www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk⁠

⁠www.workplacehuddle.com⁠

HOST BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).  

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. ⁠https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

In this episode of "All Things Conflict," Maria hosts Fiona Ruttle. They delve into the transformative power of conflict resolution and the importance of fostering understanding in challenging situations. Fiona shares her profound experiences working in prisons, where she witnessed the humanisation of individuals often seen as "monsters." The conversation explores the role of effective communication, the significance of listening, and the need for safe spaces to navigate conflicts. They discuss the impact of personal role models on conflict management and the potential for healing relationships through dialogue. The episode culminates in a vision for justice redesign, advocating for alternatives to incarceration that prioritise rehabilitation and community engagement, highlighting the potential for individuals to flourish when given the right support.

KEY TAKEAWAYS


Transformative Power of Dialogue: Engaging in facilitated conversations, such as those using the dialogue roadmap and non-violent communication, can transform relationships and break down barriers, even in challenging environments like prisons.


Conflict as an Opportunity: Conflict should not be viewed solely as a negative experience. Instead, it can be an opportunity for growth, understanding, and creativity, allowing individuals to navigate tensions and emerge with stronger connections.


Role of Listening: Active listening is a crucial skill in conflict resolution. Allowing the person with the least awareness to speak first can create a safe space for dialogue and foster empathy, leading to more constructive outcomes.


Importance of Safe Containers: Establishing a safe environment for discussions, whether in personal relationships or community mediation, is essential for addressing conflicts without escalating tensions. This includes setting boundaries around topics that are too sensitive to discuss initially.


Community-Based Solutions: Alternatives to incarceration, such as rehabilitation programs that focus on personal growth and community reintegration, can be more effective than traditional punitive measures. Engaging communities in the resolution process can lead to more sustainable and positive outcomes.

SOCIAL LINKS

www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org

www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk

www.workplacehuddle.com

HOST BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).  

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/