Let's Talk Fostering & Adoption

Can you foster and work at the same time? We unpack one of the most asked questions with Hilary Armstrong and Helen Browne from Barnardo’s Northern Ireland Fostering and Adoption team. We start where most enquiries start: the moment someone picks up the phone and asks, “Is full-time work a barrier?” Our answer is realistic but encouraging, because the real question isn’t whether you work, it’s whether you can create the time, flexibility and stability a child needs. 

We get clear on the money side too, without dodging the awkward bits. Helen explains the difference between the foster carer allowance (for the child’s day-to-day costs, linked to age) and Barnardo’s fee (recognising a carer’s skills and time). We also talk about why “being available” is not just a nice idea: many children coming into care have lived through trauma and too many moves, and those early weeks can be make-or-break for helping them settle. Add in meetings, looked after child reviews, training and appointments, and you can see why work patterns need careful thought. 

From there we move into the practical solutions that make fostering doable: strong support networks, approved safe care, and employers who genuinely understand fostering. We discuss fostering-friendly workplace adjustments, career breaks, and the recent uplift in qualifying care relief that helps many carers with tax. We also cover what happens between placements, fostering on benefits, and what’s different about foster to adopt and adoption finance. If you’re weighing up fostering with us and wondering how it would fit around your job, this conversation gives you a grounded starting point. 

Subscribe for more honest conversations, share this with someone who’s been “mulling it over”, and leave us a review so more people can find support and take the first step.
Learn more about fostering and adoption with Barnardo’s:
 https://www.barnardos.org.uk/get-support/fostering-and-adoption

To arrange a no-strings call visit
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/foster/register-to-foster

To ask a question, give us some feedback or make a topic request, email Ness at: vanessa.haynes@barnardos.org.uk

Changing childhoods, changing lives.

Two dads, Lee and Bobby, share their journey adopting siblings, from the validation of being approved as parents to navigating their sons' unique personalities and trauma responses. Their story highlights the importance of maintaining connections with foster carers while developing therapeutic approaches to parenting children who've experienced neglect.

• Equal treatment in the adoption process regardless of being a same-sex couple
• Building productive relationships with the foster carer who had cared for the boys for 18 months
• Honoring children's life stories and past experiences rather than seeing foster care as just "a holding room"
• Understanding and supporting different trauma responses
• Accessing post-adoption support including play therapy and life story work
• Learning therapeutic parenting techniques that help disarm fight-or-flight responses
• Creating support networks through extended family and professional resources

If you'd like to hear more from the Barnardo's fostering and adoption NI podcast, like and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. To learn more about fostering adoption with us, search for Barnardo's online or find the link in our program description.

Learn more about fostering and adoption with Barnardo’s:
 https://www.barnardos.org.uk/get-support/fostering-and-adoption

To arrange a no-strings call visit
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/foster/register-to-foster

To ask a question, give us some feedback or make a topic request, email Ness at: vanessa.haynes@barnardos.org.uk

Changing childhoods, changing lives.

Parent and child fostering brings unique challenges as you welcome both a vulnerable young parent and their baby into your home for an intensive placement. We explore the delicate balance between supporting new parents while documenting their progress, and how these specialised placements can transform lives.
Ness chats with Laura, a Parent and Child foster carer, and Ben from the BFANI social work team. 

• Placements typically last three months due to their intensive 24/7 nature
• Foster carers primarily support the parent to develop their own parenting skills rather than directly caring for the baby
• The first six weeks focus on support and guidance, while the second half allows parents to demonstrate independence
• Foster carers often become advocates for young parents among the many professionals involved

Search for Barnardo's online to learn more about fostering and adoption with us.

Learn more about fostering and adoption with Barnardo’s:
 https://www.barnardos.org.uk/get-support/fostering-and-adoption

To arrange a no-strings call visit
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/foster/register-to-foster

To ask a question, give us some feedback or make a topic request, email Ness at: vanessa.haynes@barnardos.org.uk

Changing childhoods, changing lives.

Therapeutic parenting recognises children's behaviour as communication and focuses on nurturing connections to help children who've experienced trauma develop trust and security. Unlike traditional parenting approaches, therapeutic parenting requires understanding a child's inner world and developmental needs rather than simply managing behaviours.

• Therapeutic parenting is not about being a therapist but about healing through nurturing relationships
• Children who enter care have experienced trauma and have different developmental starting points
• Traditional parenting techniques like time-outs can trigger feelings of rejection in care-experienced children
• Children learn who they are through how others respond to them
• Care-experienced children often function at a younger emotional age despite their chronological age
• Children with early trauma often develop internal working models where they feel unsafe and unlovable
• Building predictable, safe experiences helps traumatised children slowly develop trust

If you'd like to hear more from the Barnardo's Fostering and Adoption NI podcast, like and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. To learn more about fostering adoption with us, search for Barnardo's online or find a link in our program description.

Learn more about fostering and adoption with Barnardo’s:
 https://www.barnardos.org.uk/get-support/fostering-and-adoption

To arrange a no-strings call visit
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/foster/register-to-foster

To ask a question, give us some feedback or make a topic request, email Ness at: vanessa.haynes@barnardos.org.uk

Changing childhoods, changing lives.

What happens when a child in foster care asks the profound questions: "Who am I?" "Why am I here?" or "What happened to my parents?" These seemingly simple questions require thoughtful, age-appropriate responses that honour a child's right to understand their own story while protecting their emotional wellbeing.

Meet Emma, an Art Therapist, from our Barnardo's Glasgow service who shares how creative approaches offer unique pathways for children to express and process difficult emotions. With the use of a fictional case study, Sharon, a supervising social worker from our Northern Ireland service, walks us through how narrative work can help a child feel orientated within their own story. 
Whether you're a foster carer, social worker, therapist, or simply interested in supporting vulnerable children, this conversation offers invaluable insights into how thoughtful story work helps children integrate difficult experiences into a coherent narrative that supports healthy identity development.

Learn more about fostering and adoption with Barnardo’s:
 https://www.barnardos.org.uk/get-support/fostering-and-adoption

To arrange a no-strings call visit
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/foster/register-to-foster

To ask a question, give us some feedback or make a topic request, email Ness at: vanessa.haynes@barnardos.org.uk

Changing childhoods, changing lives.