The Autism Mums Podcast

Greer Jones, host of The Unfinished Idea podcast is back on the show. Since we last spoke she's launched the Beautifully Wired Summit, a free three-day online event for mums raising girls with ADHD and autism, and her first book, So, Now What? is out in November. We talk about:
The moment Greer realised she had ADHD herself
Why she wrote her book and decided to run a summit
And the benefits of breathwork

If you're at the start of this journey and feeling completely on your own, this one's for you.
About Greer Jones
Greer Jones is a speaker, writer and podcast host who is passionate about building understanding and connection in the neurodiverse world. As a mum raising an autistic and ADHD child, and part of a neurodivergent couple herself, she brings honesty, empathy and lived experience to her work. She is the creator of The Unfinished Idea podcast and online community, where she offers encouragement, practical tools and a reminder that no one has to walk this journey alone. Her story has been featured in podcasts, conferences and publications, inspiring families to embrace their unique path with hope and courage.
Key Takeaways
Girls and women with ADHD and autism are still being missed, and many mums only recognise their own neurodivergence after their child is diagnosed.
A diagnosis can bring relief as well as questions. For Greer, it was proof she wasn't "crazy", just wired differently.
Getting one answer about your child often leaves you with a hundred more questions. A broad overview can help before you go deep on any one topic.
"They're having a hard time, they're not trying to give me a hard time" helps parents respond rather than react during meltdowns.
Deep pressure, like a firm squeeze, can help some children regulate during a meltdown.
Breathwork is free, always available and backed by science on calming the nervous system.
Support packages often focus on the child and forget the parent. Mums need to be in the equation too.
Isolation is one of the hardest parts of raising a neurodivergent child, and community is what brings the light back in.
Celebrating wins, big or small, matters for children and parents alike.

Mentioned in this episode
The Beautifully Wired Summit (5 to 7 October), a free three-day online summit for mums raising girls with ADHD and autism
So, Now What? by Greer Jones, out 11 November
It All Makes Sense Now by Meredith Carder
@ReWildBreathwork, the breathwork account Greer mentions learning from
Greer's first episode with us: Essential Advocacy Tips for Parents of Neurodivergent Children (Episode 31)

Connect with Greer Jones
Website: theunfinishedidea.com
Instagram: @theunfinishedidea
Podcast: Neurodivergent Conversations, available on all podcast platforms

Connect with The Autism Mums
Website: theautismmums.com
Instagram: @autismmumspodcast
Facebook: @autismmumspodcast
TikTok: @autismmumspodcast

In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're joined by autistic author, speaker and former teacher Pete Wharmby. We first saw Pete speak at the SEND protest in London, and we knew straight away we wanted him on the show.
Pete's latest book, Different Minds: How We Can Help Our Autistic School Children Thrive, looks at what school is really like for autistic children, and why so many of them are struggling. Drawing on his years in the classroom, his own school days and his experience as a parent of an autistic daughter, Pete talks about the inflexibility of mainstream school, from strict uniform rules to stationery checks, and why the problem lies with the system rather than with our children.
We also talk about masking, the signs that a child may be holding it together at school and paying for it at home, how masking can tip into burnout, and how Pete recognises burnout in himself as an adult. Pete shares his thoughts on lunchtimes and break times, why lockdown "broke the spell" of school for so many families, and the one idea he'd love every teacher to understand: the double empathy problem.
About Pete Wharmby
Pete Wharmby is an autistic author and speaker who was diagnosed as autistic at 34, and later with ADHD. He spent many years working as a teacher before turning his focus to autism and neurodiversity awareness and acceptance, after being shocked by the statistics around depression, anxiety and life expectancy for autistic people.
Pete now delivers talks, keynotes and training for schools, workplaces and organisations across education, health and justice. He is the author of What I Want to Talk About, Untypical and his latest book, Different Minds. He's also a parent to an autistic daughter.
Key Takeaways
Autistic children's struggles at school are not their fault, and school refusal is far more likely the less flexible the school environment is.
Mainstream school has become more rigid over the last 15 years, at the same time as awareness of neurodivergence has grown, creating a real clash for families.
Autistic children need flexibility around uniform, lunchtimes, homework and timetables, because every child's needs are different.
Meltdowns after school rarely come from nowhere; they're often the result of a day full of sensory and social stress.
Masking at school often carries on at home, so look for exhaustion, irritability, "blank positivity" about the day and a lack of detail.
Encouraging a child to stop masking completely at school can put them at risk, so the priority is giving them real downtime at home.
Masking can eventually give way to burnout, which can then lead to depression if it isn't recognised and supported.
Break times and lunchtimes are unstructured and can be the hardest part of the day for some autistic children.
Talking openly with children about autism helps them understand their own brains and make their own choices, such as when to socialise and when to rest.
For many autistic children, lockdown showed that school as we know it isn't inevitable, and many families have since chosen home education.
A child's enthusiasm for school is fragile, and once broken it is very hard to rebuild.
Autistic children respond to teachers who show humanity and can admit when they've got something wrong.
The double empathy problem means autistic and non-autistic people can misunderstand each other, and teachers, as the adults, should help bridge that gap.
A lack of eye contact or a direct way of speaking is not rudeness; it's often simply an autistic way of communicating.

Mentioned in This Episode
Different Minds: How We Can Help Our Autistic Schoolchildren Thrive by Pete Wharmby
Pete's other books, What I Want to Talk About and Untypical
Cothú parent training programme with AUsome Training

Connect with Pete Wharmby
Website: https://petewharmby.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pete_wharmby_books
Facebook: Pete Wharmby - Autistic Author
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pete-wharmby-58a2131b2

Connect with The Autism Mums
Website: https://theautismmums.com/
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums
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In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're talking about EBSA: emotionally based school avoidance, sometimes called school distress or school anxiety. It's a term most parents only come across once things are already really difficult, when mornings have become impossible, your child is melting down before school, or they're holding it together in the classroom and falling apart the moment they get home.

We share our own experiences of watching our children struggle to go in, the things we tried that didn't work (including being told, more than once, that maybe we were the problem), and what we've learned about supporting a child through it without forcing them over the threshold. We talk about why "school refusal" is the wrong way to think about it, what's really going on underneath, how to spot the signs before things reach crisis point, and what to do when mainstream school just isn't the right fit anymore.

If you're in the middle of that fog right now, wondering whether this is normal, whether you should be pushing them to go in, or whether you're somehow making it worse, this episode is for you.

Key Takeaways

EBSA stands for emotionally based school avoidance, also known as school distress or school anxiety
It's "can't", not "won't": a child avoiding school is communicating that something feels unsafe, not being defiant
Warning signs include meltdowns, shutdowns, physical complaints like headaches or stomach aches, and gradually increasing absences
Many autistic children mask at school and hold it together, then collapse once they're home, so "they seem fine once they're through the door" doesn't tell the full story
School can overwhelm autistic children through sensory overload, unpredictable transitions, and constant social demands
Physically pushing a reluctant child through the school gates can get them through the door, but it can damage trust without solving what's actually going on
Keeping a detailed log of patterns, symptoms and school communication helps build the evidence families need for meetings and referrals
Working with the school on genuine adjustments, and asking what's making school hard rather than how to get attendance up, changes the whole conversation
When mainstream school isn't right, alternatives like specialist provision, home education, online provision or EOTAS can be legitimate paths forward

Mentioned in This Episode
National Autistic Society
IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice)
Not Fine in School
PDA Society
Neuroinclusive Education Network (formerly the Autism Education Trust)
YoungMinds
Cerebra
Your local SENDIASS service and local parent carer forum (search "SENDIASS" or "parent carer forum" plus your council area to find yours)

Another school year, another round of settling in, and if the excitement wore off around day two, you are not alone.
In this episode we get honest about what settling in to school really looks like for autistic children and their parents. Not the picture-book version, where everyone skips happily through the gates, but the version most of us actually live: the good days, the wobbly days, and the moments when the school says everything's fine and then your child falls apart the second they're back in the car.
We talk about masking, restraint collapse, and why settling in isn't a straight line, a supply teacher or a change to the timetable can undo weeks of progress. We also share the practical things that have helped in our own homes, from visual timetables and countdown timers to low-demand afternoons and communication books with school, plus how to know when it's time to ask for more support.
Key Takeaways
Settling in rarely looks like the picture-book version, and that's normal, not a sign you're doing something wrong
Settling can go backwards, a supply teacher, a change to the timetable, or a break like Christmas can undo weeks of progress
A school saying "they're fine" doesn't cancel out what you see at home, restraint collapse is real and often shows up with the people your child feels safest with
Visual supports, like timetables and countdown timers, remove uncertainty and can calm anxiety even for children who read and talk well
Low-demand afternoons matter more than a big welcome-home activity, most children just need space to decompress after school
Keeping a written record of what you're seeing, however small it feels at the time, builds the evidence you may need later for referrals or support
If home behaviours aren't shifting despite the visual supports and low-demand time, it's worth raising it properly with the teacher and the SENCo together
Don't forget your own wellbeing in all of this, you can't pour from an empty cup, and it's okay to lean on other parents going through the same thing

Mentioned in This Episode
Pete Wharmby's book, Different Minds: How we can help our autistic school children thrive
Countdown/colour-change timers used for transitions
Visual timetables and Velcro picture schedules
Weighted blankets
Nesti compression pod

Connect with The Autism Mums
Website – https://theautismmums.com/
Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums
Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums
Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome Alex Richardson, ambassador for the National Autistic Society.
Biography
Alex Richardson is an ambassador for the National Autistic Society, a role he has held since 2018. Diagnosed with autism at five, Alex has become a passionate voice for autism awareness, sharing his life online.
Key Takeaways
Alex's parents trusted he would get there 'in his own way and his own time', and he credits this approach for his confidence today
When Alex first started going to watch the football his dad took him two hours early, to a quiet stand, to let the noise build up slowly around him, and now, years later, he no longer arrives early and doesn't sit in a quiet stand.
College was a really positive experience for Alex because he was accepted as 'just Alex.'
The shop Alex was too anxious to walk to as a child became his first part-time job
Alex has experienced festivals and venues becoming more accessible. Sensory tents and quiet camping are increasingly available, and Alex's own feedback helped bring quiet camping to a major festival

Mentioned in This Episode
The National Autistic Society - https://www.autism.org.uk
Alex's film, My Autism Journey - https://youtu.be/7QMi9lEySEk
The sunflower lanyard scheme (Hidden Disabilities Sunflower) - https://hdsunflower.com
Connect with Alex
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexrichardsonautism
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alexrautism
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@alexrichardsonautism
Threads: https://www.threads.com/@alexrichardsonautism
Connect with The Autism Mums
Website – https://theautismmums.com/
Substack - https://theautismmums.substack.com/
Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums
Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums
Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums