The Autism Mums Podcast

In this week’s encore episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, join us as we navigate the complex landscape of anxiety in autistic children. We share our personal insights and experiences, exploring the diverse ways anxiety can manifest, including meltdowns, shutdowns, and sensory overloads.Whether you're early on in your autism journey or navigating school-age challenges, this episode offers reassurance, relatable stories, and real-world strategies that can make a difference.Key TakeawaysAnxiety presents differently in autistic children: It might show up as shutdowns, meltdowns, repetitive questions, anger, or even physical symptoms like tummy aches.Avoidance can be common: Children may retreat to their rooms or refuse to go places when overwhelmed.Sensory overload can be a major trigger: Noisy environments, bright lights, and even scratchy clothing can heighten anxiety.Routine changes, even positive ones, can be stressful: Children may want changes, but still struggle when they occur.Social unpredictability can add pressure: Not knowing who will be present or what will happen in social settings can create discomfort.Masking and perfectionism can lead to burnout and chronic anxiety.Support strategies matter: Ear defenders, visual timetables, sensory tools, role play, and validating feelings can help.Validation and patience are key: Simply saying 'I hear you' can help children feel safe and understood.Mentioned in This EpisodeMindfulness sessions – Supportive techniques that help children become aware of how anxiety feels in their bodies.https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-for-kids/Visual timetables and planners – Visual supports that help prepare autistic children for transitions and daily routines.Example resources: Twinkl Visual TimetablesNoise-cancelling headphones and sunglassesEdz Kidz Ear DefendersBreathing exercises for childrenhttps://copingskillsforkids.com/deep-breathing-exercises-for-kids BBC Documentary – Inside Our Autistic Minds by Chris PackhamWatch here: BBC iPlayer – Inside Our Autistic MindsHarry Potter Studio Tour (UK)Mentioned as an example of a venue with quiet spaces and autism-friendly accommodations.Accessibility info https://www.wbstudiotour.co.uk/additional-needs/Connect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook @theautismmums

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we welcome back Carl Draper for part two of our conversation.In the first part, Carl shares his personal experiences as a parent, how his understanding of behaviour has changed over time, and why unmet needs and stress responses are so often misunderstood.In this second part, Carl reflects on the challenges we can’t always predict or prevent, the importance of support systems and environment, and what helps parents regulate their own emotions when things feel overwhelming.BiographyCarl Draper was born in a North Nottinghamshire mining village and moved to Bournemouth at 19, where he served as a beach lifeguard and discovered his love for surfing. Accepted into the Royal Marines, his plans changed after a serious leg injury during a heroic rescue, an event that earned him a Local Hero Award and a feature on BBC’s 999 Rescue. He later became RNLI head trainer for lifeguards across Dorset, then served over a decade with Dorset Ambulance Service. Shifting to education, he trained firefighters and police nationwide before retraining as a mental health nurse. Carl is currently studying at Bournemouth University. In 2015, he founded Waveslider, winning the Bournemouth Tourism Award in 2017, and began documenting life with his son Bodhi in 2020.Key TakeawaysNot everything can be planned for, and learning to cope with the unexpected is an essential life skillAvoiding triggers completely can increase anxiety over time rather than reduce itThe right support system — at home, at school, or beyond — can be life-changing for familiesRoutine provides security but can also create vulnerability during periods of changeParents need their own ways to regulate stress and should seek support without guiltConnect with Carl DraperFollow Carl’s journey with his son Bodhi on the Waverslider Photography Facebook PageFollow Carl on InstagramConnect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsTranscriptVictoria Bennion: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome back. This is part twoof our conversation with Carl Draper. Carl is currently training to be a mentalhealth nurse and he's the founder of Wave Slider, where he shares his brilliantphotos and documents life with his son Bodhi.Victoria Bennion:Frank Bodi's Assistance Dog is also a regular on Wave slider. If you haven'tlistened to part one yet, we'd really recommend going back first because Carlshares some powerful context about what challenging behavior can look like andhow much can change when we start meeting a child's stress response with calm.Victoria Bennion: Intoday's episode, we pick up the conversation by talking about the things wecan't always predict or control. Those sudden changes, those moments where aplan falls apart and the ways that it can trigger big feelings for our childrenand for us too. So let's jump back in.Victoria Bennion: Arethere any steps that you can take, do you think, to prevent the...

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we welcome back Carl Draper for part one of a two-part conversation.His last episode, learning to hear a child who doesn't speak, sparked so many questions from listeners, that we invited Carl back to talk more about the topic of challenging behaviours and autism. In this first part, Carl shares his personal experiences as a parent, how his understanding of behaviour has changed over time, and why unmet needs and stress responses are so often misunderstood.BiographyCarl Draper was born in a North Nottinghamshire mining village and moved to Bournemouth at 19, where he served as a beach lifeguard and discovered his love for surfing. Accepted into the Royal Marines, his plans changed after a serious leg injury during a heroic rescue, an event that earned him a Local Hero Award and a feature on BBC’s 999 Rescue. He later became RNLI head trainer for lifeguards across Dorset, then served over a decade with Dorset Ambulance Service. Shifting to education, he trained firefighters and police nationwide before retraining as a mental health nurse. Carl is currently studying at Bournemouth University. In 2015, he founded Waveslider, winning the Bournemouth Tourism Award in 2017, and began documenting life with his son Bodhi in 2020.Key TakeawaysEmotional regulation in parents plays a crucial role in reducing escalationChallenging behaviour is often a stress response linked to unmet needsChanges in routine and adult stress can significantly impact a child’s ability to copeA balance between boundaries and flexibility helps create emotional safetyChildren learn regulation by observing the behaviour of those around themLetting go of social judgement and outdated expectations allows families to parent with confidenceConnect with Carl DraperFollow Carl’s journey with his son Bodhi on the Waverslider Photography Facebook PageFollow Carl on InstagramConnect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsTranscriptVictoria Bennion: [00:00:00] Today we're joined once again by ourfriend Carl Draper, who many of you will remember from episode nine. For thosewho don't know Carl, he is currently training to be a mental health nurse andis the founder of Wave Slider, where he shares his brilliant photographs anddocuments life with his son Bodhi.Victoria Bennion:Frank Bodie's Assistance Dog is also a regular on wave slider. Carl's lastappearance on the podcast really struck a chord, and after that episode wentlive, he received an overwhelming number of messages from parents and carerswanting to know more about how he supports his son through moments of distress.Victoria Bennion: Andwhat's often labeled as challenging behavior. So today, Carl is back with us totalk honestly and openly about exactly that we could talk to Carl for hours. Sowe've split our conversation into two episodes. In this first part, Carl shareshis personal journey as a parent. How his understanding of [00:01:00] behavior has changed over time.Victoria Bennion: Thepowerful impact of learning to regulate his own emotions and what it reallylooks like to meet chaos...

In today’s episode, of The Autism Mums Podcast, Victoria is hosting solo as Nat is home with an unwell little one. She’s joined by the wonderful Carla Wainwright, a Holistic Wellness Coach and Relationship Transformation specialist who supports parents and couples navigating the stress, overwhelm, and emotional load that can come when a child’s health or development needs extra support.Carla Wainwright's BiographyCarla Wainwright is a Holistic Wellness Coach and Relationship Transformation specialist who helps parents and couples navigate the stress, disconnection, and overwhelm that can come when a child’s health or development needs extra support. With a graduate degree in biological sciences, a 4-year practitioner diploma in Homeopathy and Heilkunst, and over 25 years as an embodied yoga teacher, Carla blends science, somatic practice, and coaching to guide couples in rekindling intimacy, deepening connection, and restoring shared purpose. Her compassionate, practical approach creates space for parents to thrive - both individually and together—while walking alongside their child’s unique health journey.Key TakeawaysMany relationship challenges stem from the fact that none of us were taught how to stay connected when life feels overwhelming.Parenting a neurodivergent or high-needs child can magnify existing patterns of disconnection within a couple.Emotional exhaustion and nervous system overload often show up as distance, irritability, or feeling like “roommates” instead of partners.Co-regulation—calming your nervous systems together—is often the first gentle step toward rebuilding intimacy.Small, simple practices like sitting side-by-side, holding hands, or breathing together can create emotional safety.Clear and compassionate communication, especially using “I” language, helps both people feel heard rather than blamed.Loving, well-expressed boundaries can strengthen a relationship rather than push partners apart.Prioritising your relationship supports the whole householdUnderstanding each partner’s unique coping style can ease misunderstandings and reduce conflict.The path back to connection starts with nervous system regulation—first for yourself, and then with each other.Connect with CarlaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/carlawainwright/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CarlaWainwrightCreatrix/Website: https://www.carlawainwright.com/Free Gift: The Connected Way Forward – Carla’s free 3-minute connection practice for couples, designed to gently rebuild closeness even when life feels overwhelminghttps://www.carlawainwright.com/connected-way-forward Connect with The Autism MumsWebsite https://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsTranscriptRebuilding Relationships While Supporting NeurodivergentChildren with Carla Wainwright[00:00:00] Victoria Bennion:Hello and welcome. It's Victoria and I'm on my own today as Nat has an illchild, but I'm grateful to...

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast  we're talking about something that many families find really tough, the Christmas season. It's a time that's meant to feel magical, but for many of our autistic children, it can actually be really overwhelming, unpredictable, and stressful.Key TakeawaysUnderstanding Christmas Overwhelm: Many autistic children find the Christmas season stressful due to changes in routine and expectations.Addressing Pre-Christmas Challenges: Difficulties can arise well before Christmas Day, with alterations in school activities and the build-up of holiday expectations.Communication and Preparation: Clear communication about what to expect can help reduce anxiety in children. Discussing plans with them beforehand is crucial.Adjusting Traditions: Families may wish to consider adapting their traditions to better suit their child's needs, such as avoiding large gatherings or adjusting meal times.Managing Social Expectations: The pressure to participate in Christmas events, such as school plays and gatherings, can cause significant distress for neurodivergent children.Sensory Sensitivities: Decorations and festive environments can be overwhelming, emphasising the need for a personalised approach to celebrations.Flexibility on Christmas Day: It can be helpful to allow for breaks and personal space on Christmas Day, adapting activities to match children's comfort levels.Creating a Supportive Environment: Setting up a calm and understanding atmosphere at home can make the season more enjoyable for neurodivergent family members.Encouraging Open Dialogue: Encouraging children to express their needs, such as using visual aids to communicate comfort levels, can help.Finding Joy in Simplicity: Embracing a less traditional Christmas that meets individual family needs can be just as fulfilling as adhering to societal expectations.Connect with The Autism MumsWebsite – https://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsTranscriptVictoriaBennion: [00:00:00] Todaywe're talking about something that many families find really tough.It's the Christmas season. It's a time that's meant to feel magical,but for many of our autistic children, it can actually be reallyoverwhelming, unpredictable, and stressful.NatalieTealdi: We're gonna talk through some of the commonchallenges that come long before Christmas Day. What happens on theday itself, and what we've learned works for our families. Hopefullyit helps you feel a little more understood and a little moresupported this year.VictoriaBennion: For many of our children, the struggles start waybefore Christmas day when everything starts to change. Routines aredifferent expectations, the look and the feel of a school. For one ofmy children, these struggles were really apparent from preschool ageand they had a lot of trauma to work through in subsequent years of,it sounds awful, doesn't...