Learning to Hear a Child Who Doesn’t Speak with Carl Draper
In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome Carl Draper, student mental health nurse, award-winning photographer and father to Bodhi, an autistic child with a powerful story. Carl opens up about the early signs of autism in his son, facing expulsion from nursery on day one and the intense stress of parenting a non-verbal child with little sleep or support. He shares how a pivotal moment with his camera led to a personal breakthrough.BiographyCarl Draper was born in a North Nottinghamshire mining village and moved to Bournemouth at 19, where he served as a beach lifeguard and discovered his love for surfing. Accepted into the Royal Marines, his plans changed after a serious leg injury during a heroic rescue, an event that earned him a Local Hero Award and a feature on BBC’s 999 Rescue. He later became RNLI head trainer for lifeguards across Dorset, then served over a decade with Dorset Ambulance Service. Shifting to education, he trained firefighters and police nationwide before retraining as a mental health nurse. Carl is currently studying at Bournemouth University. In 2015, he founded Waveslider, winning the Bournemouth Tourism Award in 2017, and began documenting life with his son Bodhi in 2020.QuoteI’ve always had this thing with special educational needs parents or SEND parents — we’re not in the same boat, but we are in the same storm. - Carl DraperKey TakeawaysTrust Your Instincts - Parents often notice signs before professionals do. If something feels off, it’s okay to seek answers and push for support.Environment Shapes Experience - The right setting and supportive people can help a child thrive.Diagnosis is a Beginning, Not an End - Receiving a diagnosis can bring clarity, but also grief and uncertainty. It marks the start of a new chapter, not the end of a story.Regulation Starts With Us - Emotional regulation in ourselves is often needed when supporting a child with complex needs. We can’t pour from an empty cup.Creativity is Healing - Photography can offer a way to pause, reflect and process life. Creative outlets are powerful tools for emotional resilience and self-regulationAssistance Dogs can offer deep connection, comfort, and safety to children with additional needs.Advocacy Requires Persistence - Navigating the SEND system often involves battles, persistence and support.Mentioned in This EpisodeCAMHS / ID CAMHS – Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services, including services for children with intellectual disabilitiesVon Kebles – The training center supporting Frank, Bodhi’s assistance dogConnect with Carl DraperFollow Carl's journey with his son Bodhi on the Waverslider Photography Facebook PageFollow Carl on InstagramConnect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsEpisode Transcript[00:00:00] Hello and welcome tothe Autism Mums podcast. I'm
--------
27:56
Helping Your Autistic Child with Anxiety
In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast Victoria and Natalie dive in to the topic of anxiety in autistic children. Drawing from their personal experiences as mums of autistic boys, they explore the many ways anxiety can present itself - from meltdowns and shutdowns to avoidance, ritualistic behaviour, physical symptoms, and anger. They offer a compassionate look at how anxiety impacts daily life and what has helped their children feel more supported and secure.Whether you're early on in your autism journey or navigating school-age challenges, this episode offers reassurance, relatable stories, and real-world strategies that can make a difference.Key TakeawaysAnxiety presents differently in autistic children: It might show up as shutdowns, meltdowns, repetitive questions, anger, or even physical symptoms like tummy aches.Avoidance can be common: Children may retreat to their rooms or refuse to go places when overwhelmed.Sensory overload can be a major trigger: Noisy environments, bright lights, and even scratchy clothing can heighten anxiety.Routine changes, even positive ones, can be stressful: Children may want changes, but still struggle when they occur.Social unpredictability can add pressure: Not knowing who will be present or what will happen in social settings can create discomfort.Masking and perfectionism can lead to burnout and chronic anxiety.Support strategies matter: Ear defenders, visual timetables, sensory tools, role play, and validating feelings can help.Validation and patience are key: Simply saying 'I hear you' can help children feel safe and understood.Mentioned in This EpisodeMindfulness sessions – Supportive techniques that help children become aware of how anxiety feels in their bodies.https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-for-kids/Visual timetables and planners – Visual supports that help prepare autistic children for transitions and daily routines. Example resources: Twinkl Visual TimetablesNoise-cancelling headphones and sunglasses Edz Kidz Ear Defenders Breathing exercises for children https://copingskillsforkids.com/deep-breathing-exercises-for-kids BBC Documentary – Inside Our Autistic Minds by Chris Packham Watch here: BBC iPlayer – Inside Our Autistic MindsHarry Potter Studio Tour (UK) Mentioned as an example of a venue with quiet spaces and autism-friendly accommodations.Accessibility info https://www.wbstudiotour.co.uk/additional-needs/Connect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums
--------
20:04
What is PDA?
In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, Victoria and Natalie dive into the unique challenges of raising a child with a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) profile. They share personal stories, strategies, and reflections to help parents and caregivers better understand and support their children navigating PDA-related behaviors.Key TakeawaysPDA is driven by anxiety and a need for control; traditional demands can trigger refusal.Offering controlled choices helps reduce pressure and gives children a sense of agency.Visual schedules and plenty of preparation help ease transitions and reduce stress.Managing your own calm and letting go of nonessential demands are important for low-demand parenting.It’s okay to adjust family routines to what works for your child, even if it looks different from your original parenting ideals.Misunderstandings from others can be painful but focusing on your child’s needs is what matters most.Mentioned in This EpisodePDA SocietyDr. Naomi Fisher webinars and resourcesConnect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums
--------
16:05
Caring for Yourself When Your Child Is Having a Tough Day
In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're talking about ways to look after yourself when your child is having a tough day.Key TakeawaysHow supporting our children with their emotions can leave us feeling completely drained.Common mistakes we’ve made when trying to "push through" a tough day.Simple ways we try to carve out moments of calm: meditation, breathing space, and gentle resets.How creating a comforting environment - with blankets, candles, soft music - can make a difference.Allowing yourself to cancel non-essential tasks or meetings when you need breathing space.The power of talking it out with someone who truly understands.Finding and building a supportive community around you.The importance of zoning out, resting, and knowing that tomorrow is a new day.Mentioned in This EpisodeGabby Bernstein’s Meditation AppConnect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums
--------
14:01
Practical Ways to Help Your Autistic Child with Daily Life
In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we talk about the practical ways we can help our autistic children with daily life. We’re sharing some of the things that have helped us make daily life a bit easier with our autistic children. From using timers and visual timetables to experimenting with tooth brushes and finding softer clothing.These are ideas that have worked for us, they might help you too, or simply offer reassurance that you’re not alone on this journey. Key TakeawaysTimers and visual supports can help ease transitions by giving your child a sense of control and predictability.Choosing soft, seamless clothing may make a difference for children who find layers uncomfortable.Toothbrushing challenges might be eased by trying different tools like U-shaped or triple-angled toothbrushes.Flexibility is key - what works one day might not work the next, and that’s okay.Planning days out in advance with visual itineraries can reduce anxiety about what's coming next.Noise sensitivity might be supported by using ear defenders, earbuds, or listening to favourite music.Strong smells can sometimes be managed with things like balaclavas or carrying scents like orange oil to mask overwhelming smells.Having a sensory kit (with familiar snacks, toys, and calming tools) may offer comfort when you're out and about.Mentioned in This EpisodeHere are some of the tools and resources discussed in this episode:Visual timers Laminated visual timetablesSeamless/sensory-friendly clothing U-shaped toothbrush and triple-angled toothbrushEar defendersBach's Rescue RemedyOrange Essential OilTiger balmThe Early Bird course by the National Autistic SocietyStretchy resistance bands for calming sensory feedbackConnect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums
Welcome to The Autism Mums Podcast — a supportive space for parents and carers navigating life with autistic children.
We’re your hosts, Victoria and Natalie, two sisters raising autistic children. We know the joy, the overwhelm and the thousand tiny moments no one else quite gets. That’s why we created this podcast - to offer a safe space, a sense of community, and some gentle encouragement along the way.
In each episode, we’ll bring you honest conversations, shared strength, and expert insights to support your journey. Whether you're celebrating a win, managing a meltdown, or just trying to get through the day, you’ll find real talk and real understanding here.
You can expect mum to mum chats, practical tips, mini solo moments and conversations with experts.
Whether you’re new to this journey or deep in the day-to-day, we see you and we’re walking this path with you.
UK