HealthyGamerGG

In this episode, Dr. K breaks down why ADHD can quietly erode relationships—and why it’s still fixable once you can see the pattern. He opens with bleak data (most partners report ADHD significantly harms the relationship and that they feel forced to “compensate”), then reframes those stats as useful: patterns are predictable, and predictable means preventable. The core issue he names is symptomatic misperception—a neurotypical partner interprets ADHD behaviors (forgetting, distractibility, missed plans) as “you don’t care,” creating an emotional injury on top of the practical problem. From there, he explains how many people with ADHD develop dysfunctional adaptations (like masking, shutting down emotionally, or avoiding commitments) to avoid conflict, but those coping strategies create new damage. He offers a repair approach: map the recurring behavior → identify what emotion you’re trying to avoid in your partner (often disappointment) → build a shared plan to tolerate and address that emotion without avoidance. He closes by highlighting pragmatic communication (turn-taking, not interrupting, tracking topics, nonverbal cues) as a common ADHD struggle that affects “connectedness,” and points toward couples-based ADHD therapy and skills training as evidence-based ways to improve. Topics covered include: Symptomatic misperception: ADHD symptoms being misread as a lack of care The “two injuries” problem: the practical miss (cake) + the meaning attached to it Dysfunctional adaptations: masking, avoidance, indecision, emotional shutdown A repair map: behavior → what you’re preventing → the core emotion → alternative plan Pragmatic communication skills and why ADHD disrupts conversational “flow” HG Coaching : https://bit.ly/46bIkdo Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: https://bit.ly/44z3Szt HG Memberships : https://bit.ly/3TNoMVf Products & Services : https://bit.ly/44kz7x0 HealthyGamer.GG: https://bit.ly/3ZOopgQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. K reframes “zoning out” as your brain’s attempt to restore attention and reclaim cognitive bandwidth—not just a bad habit to eliminate. He explains how zoning out increases when you’re tired, overwhelmed, bored, or carrying unresolved emotional stress, and uses a patient example (ADHD feeling like it’s “getting worse”) to show how hidden mental load and emotional uncertainty can drain working memory. He introduces insights from attention restoration theory, then breaks down how multitasking and “just get started / take small steps” advice can backfire by keeping you stuck in constant task-switching. The takeaway is a productivity reset: prioritize finishing tasks, reduce multitasking, and deliberately schedule true non-productive time so your brain can process internal problems instead of forcing them to surface during work. Topics covered include: Why zoning out happens and how it restores “cognitive RAM” How unresolved emotional stress increases distraction and task-switching Attention Restoration Theory and why nature/rest can replenish focus Why “just get started” + multitasking can sabotage productivity Practical fixes: focus on task completion, minimize multitasking, and plan real downtime HG Coaching : https://bit.ly/46bIkdo Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: https://bit.ly/44z3Szt HG Memberships : https://bit.ly/3TNoMVf Products & Services : https://bit.ly/44kz7x0 HealthyGamer.GG: https://bit.ly/3ZOopgQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. K explores “the deep hurt”—a persistent inner ache that can remain even when life is going well and traditional healing improves symptoms like anxiety, depression, or trauma responses. He describes how this pain can feel unusually dense and powerful, sometimes even adding depth, creativity, and compassion rather than simply feeling “bad.” Dr. K walks through several possible explanations—ranging from early “primitive” trauma, to generational/epigenetic inheritance, to spiritual frameworks like karma and reincarnation—while acknowledging that none fully explain it yet. He closes by introducing a Buddhist concept of bodhicitta, or the “wound of compassion,” suggesting that deep inner peace can sometimes open into a profound sensitivity to others’ suffering, which can become a source of purpose and meaningful action. Topics covered include: How the “deep hurt” can persist even after mental health symptoms improve Why healing can make this pain feel more intense or more noticeable Possible explanations: unformulated unconscious material, primitive early trauma, and epigenetic inheritance Spiritual frameworks Dr. K considers: meditation, past-life impressions, karma/reincarnation Bodhicitta and the “wound of compassion” as a path from inner peace to deeper empathy and purpose HG Coaching : https://bit.ly/46bIkdo Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: https://bit.ly/44z3Szt HG Memberships : https://bit.ly/3TNoMVf Products & Services : https://bit.ly/44kz7x0 HealthyGamer.GG: https://bit.ly/3ZOopgQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do some people seem to hate you no matter what you do, even when you have not done anything wrong? Dr. K calls this displaced hatred, anger that cannot be aimed at the real source, so it gets redirected onto a safer target. He uses Snape’s unfair treatment of Harry as a clean example of how this happens when love, loss, and betrayal collide. From there, he brings it into real life: family dynamics, workplaces, and even online anger. Once you can spot displaced hatred, you stop wasting energy trying to win someone over in an unwinnable situation, and you can start tracing your own persistent anger back to the person or wound you “aren’t allowed” to be mad at. Topics Included -What displaced hatred is, and why it feels so unfair to the target -Snape, Lily, James, and Harry as a case study in redirected anger -Why the mind struggles to hold love and hate toward the same person -A therapy insight: the parent you do not talk about can hold the real pain -How “good parent” narratives can hide resentment about lack of protection -Common real world pattern: coworker anger that is actually about the boss -Why killing someone with kindness often fails when the issue is not you -How displaced hatred keeps you taking responsibility for someone else’s problem-The role of self hatred, depression, and why anger can get redirected outward HG Coaching : https://bit.ly/46bIkdo Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: https://bit.ly/44z3Szt HG Memberships : https://bit.ly/3TNoMVf Products & Services : https://bit.ly/44kz7x0 HealthyGamer.GG: https://bit.ly/3ZOopgQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. K sits down with therapist and trauma educator Patrick Teahan to explore how childhood trauma continues to shape adult relationships, identity, and emotional regulation. They unpack how early survival patterns can clash with adult goals, leading to procrastination, anxiety, avoidance, and chronic inner conflict. Rather than framing these struggles as personal failure, the conversation reframes them as adaptations that once protected us but now hold us back. The discussion moves into attachment styles, intimacy, and projection, showing how unresolved childhood dynamics often replay themselves in romantic relationships. Dr. K and Patrick explain why healing can feel destabilizing, how emotional numbing gets mistaken for peace, and what real integration looks like when growth shifts from forcing change to building emotional flexibility. Topics covered include: -How childhood trauma creates conflict between emotions and adult goals-Anxious and avoidant attachment patterns in adult relationships-Why healing can disrupt relationships built on shared dysfunction-Projection of parental wounds onto romantic partners-The difference between emotional numbness and true emotional stability HG Coaching : https://bit.ly/46bIkdo Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: https://bit.ly/44z3Szt HG Memberships : https://bit.ly/3TNoMVf Products & Services : https://bit.ly/44kz7x0 HealthyGamer.GG: https://bit.ly/3ZOopgQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices