Coming Clean With Me

For 20 years, Matthew Hopkins lived in a constant state of paranoia, violence, and chaos — coked up, tooled up, knives under the pillow, convinced people were coming through the door. Alcohol and cocaine weren’t just part of his weekends, they defined his identity, his relationships, and his sense of safety.
In this follow-up episode of Coming Clean With Me, addiction specialist Elliott Wald sits down with Matthew two years clean, revisiting where he was eight months sober and where he is now. The contrast is stark: new house, new mindset, repaired family relationships, and a calm he says he’d never experienced before.
He speaks openly about curtain switching, hallucinations, carrying knives, sleeping with his foot against the door, and how his paranoia became so severe that even alcohol alone would trigger it. Relationships were toxic, consequences disappeared, and fear became normal.
This episode goes deep into:
What early sobriety actually feels like
Anxiety, grief, and fear of a life without drink or drugs
Why recovery isn’t just stopping — it’s rebuilding
How hypnosis, environment change, and self-understanding played a role
The reality of loneliness, growth, and emotional regulation after long-term use
Matthew also talks candidly about:
Buying his first home
The shock of mental quiet after chaos
Turning down cocaine for the first time
Navigating pubs, weddings, and social environments sober
Why some people secretly want you to fail
This is a no-gloss, no-influencer recovery story — just lived experience, accountability, and what sustained change actually looks like.

Elliott Wald is a British psychologist, hypnosis expert, and behavioural analyst with over 30 years of clinical experience. He specialises exclusively in the treatment of cocaine addiction via nasal use (snorting) — a form of stimulant addiction that is frequently misunderstood and poorly treated by generic recovery models.
Alongside his formal clinical training, Elliott also brings direct lived experience. He maintained a daily cocaine addiction for 15 years, when he was publicly visible and appearing as an expert on national television. This combination of clinical expertise and first-hand experience allows Elliott to understand stimulant addiction from both a neuropsychological and human perspective — without ideology, moral judgement, or surface-level explanations.
Elliott’s work focuses on the psychological, behavioural, and neurobiological mechanisms that drive cocaine addiction, including dopamine dysregulation, compulsive habit loops, impulsivity, identity reinforcement, and relapse conditioning. His approach is highly individualised, evidence-informed, and fundamentally different from generic coaching, peer-led advice, or one-size-fits-all recovery programmes based on someone else’s story.
He has appeared as an addiction expert across major UK broadcasters including ITV, BBC, Sky News, and Sky Living, and is a published author in the field of addiction.
Over 90% of Elliott’s patients work with him online, meaning private, one-to-one treatment is accessible to clients across the United States and worldwide, without the need for travel.
If you’d like to watch a video explaining how Elliott’s one-to-one programme works, or to enquire about private treatment, send a WhatsApp:
 UK: 07875 751960
International: +44 7875 751960
Find out more on Elliott's website:
https://www.hypnosis-expert.com/ADDICTION/

Brandon Block was one of the most recognisable names in UK dance music — Space Terrace in Ibiza, global gigs, and mainstream success but behind the sets, he says he was sniffing so much cocaine he renamed it “THE WALLOP” — and by the end, he describes going through an eighth (3.5g) within an hour, buying repeatedly throughout the day, and living in a cycle where he wouldn’t go to bed without a bag ready for the morning.
In this raw, unfiltered episode of Coming Clean With Me, addiction specialist Elliott Wald sits down with Brandon to trace the real timeline: growing up in Wembley, struggling at school with focus and concentration, being bullied, discovering music through a mentor figure at school — and then how the club scene, availability, and constant partying pulled him into heavy substance use.
Brandon describes being introduced to drugs early, later taking ecstasy in the acid house era, and then being introduced to cocaine at a rave — where the escalation, he says, became pretty quick.
Then comes the turning point: Brandon describes an epiphany moment in hospital where he realised the core driver wasn’t pleasure — it was the fear of living without drugs. 
If you’re battling cocaine addiction, daily sniffing, binge cycles, insomnia, anxiety, or the “club scene” trap — this conversation is a rare, first-hand account from someone who lived it at the extreme and built a life beyond it.
Covered in this episode
Cocaine addiction (sniffing) and extreme tolerance
“The Wallop” — renaming cocaine during heavy use
Daily use, no sleep patterns, and living bag-to-bag
Club culture, Ibiza, and drug availability in the industry
Illness, hospitalisation, and the wake-up moment
Anxiety, fear, and what keeps people stuck
Stopping without relapse (Brandon’s account)
Staying in nightlife while staying clean
Elliott Wald is a British psychologist, hypnosis expert, and behavioural analyst with over 30 years of clinical experience. He specialises exclusively in the treatment of cocaine addiction via nasal use (snorting) — a form of stimulant addiction that is frequently misunderstood and poorly treated by generic recovery models.
Alongside his formal clinical training, Elliott also brings direct lived experience. He maintained a daily cocaine addiction for 15 years, when he was publicly visible and appearing as an expert on national television. This combination of clinical expertise and first-hand experience allows Elliott to understand stimulant addiction from both a neuropsychological and human perspective — without ideology, moral judgement, or surface-level explanations.
Elliott’s work focuses on the psychological, behavioural, and neurobiological mechanisms that drive cocaine addiction, including dopamine dysregulation, compulsive habit loops, impulsivity, identity reinforcement, and relapse conditioning. His approach is highly individualised, evidence-informed, and fundamentally different from generic coaching, peer-led advice, or one-size-fits-all recovery programmes based on someone else’s story.
He has appeared as an addiction expert across major UK broadcasters including ITV, BBC, Sky News, and Sky Living, and is a published author in the field of addiction.
Over 90% of Elliott’s patients work with him online, meaning private, one-to-one treatment is accessible to clients across the United States and worldwide, without the need for travel.
If you’d like to watch a video explaining how Elliott’s one-to-one programme works, or to enquire about private treatment, send a WhatsApp:
 UK: 07875 751960
International: +44 7875 751960
Find out more on Elliott's website:
https://www.hypnosis-expert.com/ADDICTION/

Kilos. Crime. Cocaine. And a life lived in constant hyper-vigilance.
In this episode of Coming Clean With Me, addiction specialist Elliott Wald sits down with Jeff Charles, a man who spent over a decade immersed in criminality, large-scale drug supply, violence, and addiction — while quietly battling fear, shame, and a collapsing sense of self.
Jeff opens up about growing up in East London and Essex, being diagnosed with ADHD at a young age, feeling segregated at school, and being permanently excluded by 12. Thrust into adult environments early, he gravitated towards criminal role models, building a reputation rooted in fear, money, and control — while internally living with constant anxiety and moral conflict.
He describes:
Moving from low-level crime to large-scale theft and drug distribution
Normalising cocaine use by keeping “half an ounce back” for himself
Living in daily fear of prison, violence, or death
The psychological toll of hyper-vigilance and identity fragmentation
Losing friends to suicide and accidents linked to the lifestyle
Alongside cocaine addiction, Jeff also details severe weight gain, reaching 222kg (nearly 35 stone), alcohol misuse, depression, and suicidal ideation. One of the most harrowing moments comes when he describes filming goodbye videos for his children — moments before attempting to take his own life.
Jeff speaks candidly about how faith, therapy, journaling, routine, and purpose now keep him grounded — and how founding The Actualization Project became part of his recovery, not the goal of it.
This is not a glamorised crime story.
 It’s a raw account of what addiction takes — and what it takes back.
If you’re struggling with cocaine addiction, contact Elliott Wald team – Whatsapp UK 07875 751960 Worldwide +44 7875 751960
Elliott Wald is a British psychologist, hypnosis expert, and behavioural analyst with over 30 years of clinical experience. He specialises exclusively in the treatment of cocaine addiction via nasal use (snorting) — a form of stimulant addiction that is frequently misunderstood and poorly treated by generic recovery models.
Alongside his formal clinical training, Elliott also brings direct lived experience. He maintained a daily cocaine addiction for 15 years, when he was publicly visible and appearing as an expert on national television. This combination of clinical expertise and first-hand experience allows Elliott to understand stimulant addiction from both a neuropsychological and human perspective — without ideology, moral judgement, or surface-level explanations.
Elliott’s work focuses on the psychological, behavioural, and neurobiological mechanisms that drive cocaine addiction, including dopamine dysregulation, compulsive habit loops, impulsivity, identity reinforcement, and relapse conditioning. His approach is highly individualised, evidence-informed, and fundamentally different from generic coaching, peer-led advice, or one-size-fits-all recovery programmes based on someone else’s story.
He has appeared as an addiction expert across major UK broadcasters including ITV, BBC, Sky News, and Sky Living, and is a published author in the field of addiction.
Over 90% of Elliott’s patients work with him online, meaning private, one-to-one treatment is accessible to clients across the United States and worldwide, without the need for travel.
If you’d like to watch a video explaining how Elliott’s one-to-one programme works, or to enquire about private treatment, send a WhatsApp:
UK: 07875 751960
International: +44 7875 751960
Find out more on Elliott's website:
https://www.hypnosis-expert.com/ADDICTION/

Four days into a cocaine bender with no sleep, Josh Wyard says he started seeing things — and realised how far his life had slipped. In this episode of Coming Clean With Me, Josh describes how cocaine use escalated from a social line at a Skepta gig into an offshore-fuelled binge cycle, payday loans taken out in minutes, and a debt spiral that left him in a plan for £66,000.
Josh explains he grew up in Great Yarmouth, raised by his grandparents after his parents split. He describes being exposed to drug culture on weekends with his dad, being bullied at school, and later entering offshore work — where long shifts, boredom on time off, and “reward” thinking helped normalise using “the packet”.
He talks openly about peak use (“an eighth a day”), hiding it at home, paranoia, sleep deprivation, and how relationship breakdown intensified his downward spiral — including a period where he says he spent £5,000–£6,000 on cocaine in a week. He also describes the practical reality of addiction: waking up to cravings, using in secret, and structuring life around access and recovery time before returning offshore.
Finally, Josh explains the moment he decided his last ever line would be the last — and how that choice tied into a complete behaviour shift: joining a gym, setting targets, losing 50kg, rebuilding his lifestyle, and finding community through the “7am Club” (runs, sauna, and ice baths). He closes with a message he repeats clearly: there is a way out.
Topics covered
Cocaine addiction (nasal use) and binge patterns
Offshore work culture and “reward” cycles
Sleep deprivation, paranoia, hallucinations
Payday loans, debt, and financial collapse
Relationship breakdown and mental health
The last line decision and behaviour change
Weight loss, gym discipline, and community support
Elliott Wald is a British psychologist, hypnosis expert, and behavioural analyst with over 30 years of clinical experience. He specialises exclusively in the treatment of cocaine addiction via nasal use (snorting) — a form of stimulant addiction that is frequently misunderstood and poorly treated by generic recovery models.
Alongside his formal clinical training, Elliott also brings direct lived experience. He maintained a daily cocaine addiction for 15 years, when he was publicly visible and appearing as an expert on national television. This combination of clinical expertise and first-hand experience allows Elliott to understand stimulant addiction from both a neuropsychological and human perspective — without ideology, moral judgement, or surface-level explanations.
Elliott’s work focuses on the psychological, behavioural, and neurobiological mechanisms that drive cocaine addiction, including dopamine dysregulation, compulsive habit loops, impulsivity, identity reinforcement, and relapse conditioning. His approach is highly individualised, evidence-informed, and fundamentally different from generic coaching, peer-led advice, or one-size-fits-all recovery programmes based on someone else’s story.
He has appeared as an addiction expert across major UK broadcasters including ITV, BBC, Sky News, and Sky Living, and is a published author in the field of addiction.
Over 90% of Elliott’s patients work with him online, meaning private, one-to-one treatment is accessible to clients across the United States and worldwide, without the need for travel.
If you’d like to watch a video explaining how Elliott’s one-to-one programme works, or to enquire about private treatment, send a WhatsApp:
 UK: 07875 751960
International: +44 7875 751960
Find out more on Elliott's website:
https://www.hypnosis-expert.com/ADDICTION/

Harry Beattie spent over a decade in Narcotics Anonymous while repeatedly relapsing. In this episode of Coming Clean With Me, he shares what finally changed when his sobriety began to stabilise — not through a new programme, but through major life shifts including fatherhood, daily structure, public accountability, and cold-water exposure. He reflects on why previous recovery attempts failed and what made the difference this time.

In conversation with cocaine addiction expert Elliott Wald, Harry opens up about his history of cocaine use, repeated relapse, and the emotional roots of addiction. He discusses growing up in an emotionally distant home, living with undiagnosed ADHD, and using cocaine to quiet his mind rather than energise it — until it led to paranoia, disrupted sleep, and deteriorating mental health.

Harry explains how responsibility, habit, and routine became key to lasting sobriety. He maintains a focus on discipline, structure, and daily consistency rather than thinking in terms of being “cured.”

00:00 – Cocaine addiction recovery: From chaos to Ice Bath Harry
00:34 – Childhood abandonment and emotional neglect
00:42 – Privilege without nurture: hidden trauma
01:11 – 409 days clean: why sobriety finally stuck
01:30 – Full introduction: Ice Bath Harry’s story
03:14 – Growing up wealthy but emotionally deprived
04:13 – ADHD, school expulsions, and being labelled “naughty”
06:40 – Seeking validation, rebellion, and risk-taking
09:20 – Impulsivity, danger, and early addiction traits
10:19 – Undiagnosed ADHD and addiction vulnerability
12:35 – “I’m not cured”: understanding long-term recovery
12:49 – Video game addiction and escapism
13:49 – Alcohol, early substance use, and rebellion
15:36 – First cocaine use and immediate emotional relief
16:45 – Why cocaine felt calming, not stimulating
18:10 – ADHD, dopamine deficiency, and cocaine
21:43 – How cocaine addiction escalates
23:04 – Sales culture, money, and daily cocaine use
24:07 – When cocaine stops working
26:26 – Addiction, anxiety, and loss of control
28:30 – Isolation, paranoia, and binge use
30:00 – Dry sniffing and hiding cocaine addiction
31:09 – Why traditional recovery failed
33:56 – Losing family, home, and identity
36:00 – Staying awake for days on cocaine
38:30 – Cocaine-induced paranoia and psychosis
42:10 – “This isn’t what cocaine promised”
44:20 – Rock bottom and emotional collapse
46:55 – Rehab, relapse, and reality
49:05 – Visualising recovery and future identity
51:22 – Is addiction a disease?
55:00 – Why one-size-fits-all recovery doesn’t work
59:57 – Alcohol vs cocaine: brain differences
01:08:11 – Why stimulant addiction needs a different approach
01:24:26 – Ice baths, dopamine, and recovery
01:26:00 – Public accountability and staying clean
01:28:30 – Building Ice Bath Harry online
01:31:40 – Identity, shame, and self-belief
01:32:30 – What addiction really is
01:34:00 – Fatherhood, meaning, and closing message

Elliott Wald is a British psychologist, hypnosis expert, and behavioural analyst with over 30 years of clinical experience. He specialises exclusively in the treatment of cocaine addiction via nasal use (snorting) — a form of stimulant addiction that is frequently misunderstood and poorly treated by generic recovery models.

Alongside his formal clinical training, Elliott also brings direct lived experience. He maintained a daily cocaine addiction for 15 years, when he was publicly visible and appearing as an expert on national television. This combination of clinical expertise and first-hand experience allows Elliott to understand stimulant addiction from both a neuropsychological and human perspective — without ideology, moral judgement, or
Find out more on Elliott's website:
https://www.hypnosis-expert.com/ADDICTION/