In This Together - Same But Different

The Battle of Social Media: Stay, Leave or Do It Differently?

Is social media bringing us together — or quietly pulling us out of our own lives?

This week, we’re having a very same but different conversation about our relationship with social media.

Liz has barely used Instagram all summer. There was no grand digital detox and no dramatic announcement; she just stopped opening it, and noticed that she felt more present in her actual life.

Bernie has gone in almost the opposite direction. She’s decided to show up more online, particularly for her work, but without bending herself into whatever shape the algorithm currently demands. 

From there, we get into the much messier question underneath it all: what is social media actually doing for us — and to us?

We talk about curated lives and comparison; the strange feeling of knowing huge amounts about people we don’t actually know; whether watching someone’s Instagram Story can trick us into feeling as though we’ve genuinely checked in with them; online friendships and community; creativity; AI-generated content and the growing difficulty of knowing what’s real; social media as a tool for small businesses; algorithms, trolls and digital noise; and why sometimes stepping away is simply the right thing to do.

We also talk about something both of us are trying to navigate as parents: raising children in a world where even if they don’t have social media accounts themselves, we can’t completely control what gets shown to them by friends, algorithms or other devices.
There’s no “delete Instagram immediately” conclusion here. And there’s definitely no “social media is wonderful” conclusion either.
Instead, we land somewhere much more personal:
When I use it, how do I actually feel?
Connected? Inspired? Amused? Supported?
Or just… a bit crap?
As ever, we’re figuring it out while we talk.
In this episode we talk about:
Taking a break from Instagram and noticing what changes
Social media as connection versus social media as noise
Why algorithms, hooks and trends make us both want to rebel
Showing up online authentically when you run a business
Comparison, body image and mental health
Online friendships, community and “checking in” without actually checking in
AI-generated writing, images and videos — and the erosion of trust online
Using social media intentionally rather than automatically
Parenting, smartphones, YouTube, WhatsApp and unwanted online content
Helping children develop digital and media literacy
Why neither of us thinks social media is simply “good” or “bad”
Bernie’s move towards Substack and a more old-school style of publishing
And, naturally, sending pigeons and knitting jumpers as alternative podcast marketing strategies
Content warning:
This episode includes discussion of burnout and suicide, graphic violent content encountered online, pornography and sexual content in the context of children and online safety.

We’d genuinely love to know where you land on this one. What does social media give you? What does it take from you? Have you stepped away, leaned in, found a middle ground — or are you still figuring it out too?

In This Together: Same But Different — two coaches, best pals, and two slightly different takes on being human.

The wellness industry is worth around 5.6 trillion dollars, and the dodgy end has learned to talk exactly like the qualified end. In the last episode of season 2, Liz and Bernie get into grifters: the influencers and self-styled healers promising to fix your whole life with a weekend retreat and a well-placed crystal.

They talk about what being trauma informed actually means, why declaring a space safe doesn't make it so, and why the most confident voice is so often not the most qualified one. There's the difference between evidence and a good soundbite, why nuance never goes viral, and the small but vital things to look for before you hand over your money or your trust: scope of practice, supervision, real training.
It's not an anti-wellness episode. It's a be-discerning one. Because people deserve support, and that support should come with honesty, humility and proper ethical care, not grand promises and guru energy.

Back in August for season 3!

Shownotes:
Gabor Maté: https://drgabormate.com/
Brené Brown: https://brenebrown.com/
China's restrictions on unqualified health and wellness content: https://www.chinadaily.com.cn/a/202508/04/WS688ff13aa310c0209d01abff.html

Also mentioned
Liz's group coaching programme, It's Not Just Me. A 6-week foundational course for anyone worn out from overthinking, people pleasing and holding everything together. Starts September: https://www.lizgoodchild.co.uk/its-not-just-me/
Bernie's CPD training on stress and burnout, open to all practitioners (coaches, therapists, wellness practitioners, doctors, nurses and more), with a community that meets quarterly. Currently running her fourth cohort: https://stress-ed.co.uk/training/

Contact:
To let us know about themes and topics you’d love us to discussion in Season 3, you can email us here:  inthistogetherchat@gmail.com
To contact Liz directly: hello@lizgoodchild.co.uk or via DM https://www.instagram.com/liz.good.child/
To contact Bernie directly: bernadette@stress-ed.co.uk

Anyone else feeling like the world has collectively lost the plot?

Between politics, wars, rising costs, climate anxiety, social media and the endless stream of breaking news, it's no wonder so many of us are feeling overwhelmed, anxious and emotionally exhausted.

In this episode, Liz and Bernie dive into what happens when our nervous systems are exposed to a constant flow of alarming information, and why so many people are walking around carrying stress, fear and uncertainty that doesn't seem to switch off.

Drawing on their experiences as coaches, they explore how uncertainty affects our wellbeing, why doomscrolling keeps us stuck in survival mode, and what happens when we feel powerless in the face of events we can't control.

The conversation also takes a thoughtful look at politics, community, difference, fear and belonging, while asking an important question: how do we stay informed and engaged without becoming completely consumed by what's happening in the world?

Along the way, they chat about:

• Why the world feels more overwhelming than ever
• The impact of constant news consumption on our nervous systems
• Vicarious trauma and emotional contagion
• The psychology of fear, uncertainty and control
• Why people seek certainty when life feels unstable
• Social media algorithms and the doomscrolling trap
• The importance of community, connection and curiosity
• Looking for "glimmers" and practising a little more bloom scrolling
• Simple ways to feel more grounded when everything feels chaotic

This isn't a conversation about ignoring what's happening around us. It's about finding ways to stay informed, stay connected and stay human without burning ourselves out in the process.

Because maybe the answer isn't carrying the whole world on our shoulders.

Maybe it's putting the phone down for a bit, looking for the helpers, finding some glimmers, watching cute Shetland ponies run around a field, and remembering that we're all just doing our best to make sense of a very noisy world.
Mentioned in this episode
• Julian Rotter's theory of Locus of Control
• Pearl Drego's concept of the Cultural Parent
• Vicarious Trauma
• Doomscrolling and Bloom Scrolling
• Mr Rogers' famous advice: "Look for the helpers"
• Life Is Beautiful (1997) – the Oscar-winning film Bernie references when talking about finding hope, humanity and moments of joy even in the darkest circumstances.

If this episode resonated with you, we'd love it if you'd follow, rate and review the podcast, and share it with someone who might need the reminder that they're not the only one feeling this way.

Because we're all in this together. Same, but different.

In Episode 10, we’re talking perimenopause. Not as experts with all the answers, but as two women right in the middle of it.

Liz shares her terrifying experience of neurological symptoms, scans, hospital tests and being told it might be MS or a brain tumour, before finally discovering it was perimenopause.

Bernie talks about endometriosis, anxiety, UTIs, body changes, overwhelm and the messy overlap between burnout and hormones.

We also talk about:
The overlap between burnout, chronic stress and perimenopause
Health anxiety and being dismissed by medical professionals
HRT and the difference it made within days
Body changes, weight gain and learning to live in a different body
Brain fog, fatigue and forgetting basic words 
Why so many of us feel we have to fight to be heard
The emotional and psychological impact of hormonal change
Nervous system overwhelm and learning to regulate differently
Why connection and hearing “me too” matters so much

This one is honest, emotional, funny in places, and deeply validating for anyone who’s ever wondered: “Is it just me?”

Episode shownotes:
Dr Louise Newson: Menopause specialist and educator
Dr Nicky Keay: Specialist in exercise, hormones and female health
Renee McGregor: Leading Sports and Eating disorder specialist dietitian

Stay in touch
Email: inthistogetherchat@gmail.com
Instagram: @liz.good.child and @bernadettedancy_stresscoach

Work with us
Liz: 1:1 coaching/therapy (availability + info):https://www.lizgoodchild.co.uk/
Bernie: 1:1 stress & lifestyle coaching + CPD-accredited training in Stress Management for Health and Wellness Professionals:http://www.stress-ed.co.uk

Episode 9: The Quiet Losses No One Talks About

What if grief isn’t just about losing people… but losing versions of your life?

In this episode, we’re exploring the quieter, less visible side of loss — the kind that doesn’t always have a clear name.
From those unexpected moments that catch you off guard (like feeling sad after something lovely), to the lives we didn’t live, the choices we didn’t make, and the parts of ourselves we’ve outgrown —t his is a conversation about all the ways grief shows up beyond death.

We talk about:
The bittersweet feeling of seeing something you didn’t have
“Sliding doors” moments and the paths not taken
Ambiguous loss and unmet needs
Understanding yourself differently later in life
Why even the right decisions can come with a sense of loss
The pressure of timelines and expectations
And why you can love your life… and still grieve another one

This one is honest, reflective, and very “same but different.”
Because sometimes the hardest losses to process… are the ones no one else can see.

Episode shownotes:
Brandi Carlile: The song, “The Mother”. “Welcome to the end of being alone inside your mind.”
Alan Wolfelt: “All change is loss, and all loss must be mourned.”
Counterfactual thinking: Imagining alternative versions of the past (“what if…” thinking)
Prediction error (neuroscience): The brain updating its expectations when reality doesn’t match its internal model.
Pauline Boss: Ambiguous loss (loss without clear closure or definition
Carl Jung” “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
Bernice Neugarten: Social clock (cultural expectations about life timelines and milestones)
David Blanchflower: U-shaped happiness curve (wellbeing dips in midlife and rises later)
The Bell Jar: Sylvia Plath” Fig tree metaphor (the lives we don’t choose).
Nora Ephron: Reflections on ageing, regret, and self-perception, “I Feel Bad About My Neck”.
Sehnsucht: A German term describing a deep, bittersweet longing for something intangible or unattainable.
Liz Moreton: https://stress-ed.co.uk/mbsr/

Work with Liz Goodchild - www.lizgoodchild.co.uk
Work with Bernie Dancy - www.bernadettedancy.co.uk