That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

• #204 Am I my things? When possessions define us: the psychological connection between identity, self-concept and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  On this episode, I’m joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to unpack how our possessions connect with our sense of identity and self-concept, and why letting go can feel so threatening for those of us who hoard. We talk through how objects hold meaning, memories, and dreams for the future, and what it looks like to build a stronger sense of self without clinging to things. If you’ve ever felt like discarding something meant losing a part of yourself, you definitely want to listen to this one. We break down exactly why that fear happens and where to start. A plant pot associated with negative experiences. Discussion of emotional and aesthetic reasons for keeping vs. discarding. Objects “glowering" at us. Identity and Self-Concept in Hoarding Definition of identity and self-concept. Possessions and Sense of Identity The psychological process of possessions intertwining with identity. How this differs from typical sentimental attachment. Retention itself (rather than use or display) as a meaning-making act in hoarding. The difference between identity (roles, characteristics, life story) and self-concept (beliefs about self, worth, and abilities). Typical patterns seen in people with hoarding disorder: fragmented identity, externalised identity via objects. Psychological Fusion Between Identity and Possessions The concept of "identity objects" — how discarding items feels like losing part of oneself. Objects as external proof and storage for identity, memory, and meaning. Safety of objects over human relationships. The cycle of validation and shame in hoarding. Pathways to Possession-Identity Fusion Childhood experiences and boundary violations leading to control needs. Identity confusion and external markers for self-definition. Psychological ownership: objects as self-extension. Functions of retained objects—proof of past, present, and future self. Anthropomorphism and obligations to objects. Executive function challenges: objects as external memory aids. Perfectionism and fantasy identity protection. Influence of cultural materialism and marketing. The Fear of Losing Identity When Discarding Objects "Throwing away part of myself." Three psychological routes for ownership: control, intimate knowledge, and personal investment. The role of control and avoidance of uncertainty. The painful admission of poor judgment (e.g., unworn clothing) when discarding. Possessions as Identity Markers Retaining items from past roles (retired teachers, old job materials). Holding onto objects representing hopes for future identity. Objects as evidence for important life chapters, relationships, or personal history. Psychological needs these objects serve and when that becomes problematic. Books as Proof of Intellectual Identity Discussion of books held as evidence of being intellectual, regardless of actual reading. Exploration of how objects can become substitutes for action and risk. Therapeutic approach to shifting identity building from possession to action. Community and Connection in the Hoarding Journey The loneliness and isolation frequently felt by people who hoard. The importance of community, connection, and peer support, including podcast listeners and accountability sessions. Effects of increased openness and connection on identity. Identity Shifts During Dehoarding and Recovery Changes in identity during the process of recovery and letting go. Building new narratives — sometimes research or recovery itself becomes an identity. Increased connection and belonging through shared experience and vulnerability. Maintaining Identity Without Excessive Possession Strategies for building identity through actions, creativity, and lived experience. Selecting representative or truly meaningful items rather than keeping everything. Observing how "non-hoarding" individuals make decisions about sentimental items. Discomfort and growth opportunities in sharing one's journey while still in progress. The value of authenticity and vulnerability. First Steps for Listeners Fearing Loss of Self Through Discarding Acknowledging that fear is rational and understandable. Suggesting mindful observation of attachment thoughts. Testing beliefs by gentle action, e.g., creative tasks with what is already available. Finding supportive people for accountability and encouragement. Reflective work on personal values — building identity from the inside. Reassurance that identity predates possessions and is not dependent on them. Objects as scaffolding rather than the core of one’s identity. Encouragement to trust oneself and to start building stability from within. Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Dr Jan Eppingstall at Stuffology https://www.facebook.com/stuffologyconsulting/ https://twitter.com/stuff_ology https://www.instagram.com/stuff_ology/ Dr Jan Eppingstall on Pinterest Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @[email protected] TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

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• #203 How to declutter when you can't reach your shelves

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  If you’re facing the frustration of knowing where your things belong but just can’t access your shelves or cupboards because there’s too much in the way, this episode is for you. I break down why piling things up with good intentions doesn’t actually solve anything, why decluttering comes before organising, and share honest strategies for making actual progress when your home feels overwhelming. Barriers to Organising Due to Inaccessible Shelves E.g. wanting to keep clothes but can’t access the wardrobe Emotional impact: frustration and the cycle of blocked organisation Layers and spread of clutter that block storage areas The Vicious Cycle of Clutter and Organisation How inaccessible shelves lead to piles that further compound the problem The emotional fallout: self-blame and shame Reframing the struggle as a symptom of hoarding disorder’s progression, not personal failure Coping Strategies & Common Pitfalls Temporary solutions (bags/boxes for items meant for inaccessible areas) and associated risks (forgetting what’s inside) The “out of sight, out of mind” issue Overestimating the capacity of designated spaces for stored items Imperfect Progress and Starting Where You Are Importance of starting without perfect access or planning Emotional and practical aspects of starting with what’s immediately available The danger of over-planning and the value of taking imperfect action Building Momentum: Small Steps and Accessibility Clearing even small spaces leads to broader clearing efforts How minor improvements enable further progress Core Issue: Volume Over Organisation Identifying excessive possessions as the root problem, not lack of organisation Emphasis that organising without decluttering only rearranges clutter Professional advice: dehoarding and decluttering must come before organising The Trap of Reorganisation Without Decluttering The concept of “churn”—moving items around versus actual removal How adding more storage increases clutter, not solves it Real progress comes from discarding items and opening spaces Regaining Access and Realistic Organisation Regaining access to storage areas requires reducing overall volume Setting realistic expectations for what storage spaces can hold Organising solutions are secondary to decluttering Practical Strategies for Decluttering Picking a strategic spot or simply starting wherever you are Focusing efforts (entrances, exits, specific goals, categories) Opening neglected bags/boxes and revealing new priorities Breaking down overwhelming tasks and celebrating small wins Safety Considerations Avoiding dangerous physical manoeuvres to reach blocked areas Importance of asking for help and maintaining physical safety Mindset and Momentum Recognising and celebrating progress, no matter the size Positive reinforcement to build motivation for ongoing decluttering The Hard Truth: Volume Reduction is Essential Acknowledging that reaching shelves requires lowering the overall volume Practical details (where to put items temporarily) less important than reducing quantity Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @[email protected] TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

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• #202 "Acting as if" for hoarding disorder

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  In this episode, I talk about the idea of "acting as if" - taking action before you fully believe you can, and using that to chip away at compulsive hoarding behaviours. I share stories from my own life, including how channelling others’ confidence helped me move through paralysing shyness, and how small steps can help shift thinking around possessions and habits. It’s all about behaving your way to progress, even when your feelings haven’t caught up yet. Listen in to find out more, including how to go about it without burning out or being retraumatised. Introduction to "Acting As If" Explanation of the “acting as if” concept: taking action before you truly believe in it Shyness in childhood, learning to appreciate autumn) Psychological Basis for "Acting As If" Theory that action creates motivation Contrast with waiting for motivation or readiness Clarification: distinction from toxic positivity Application to Hoarding Disorder Connection between repeated cycles and hoarding behaviour How new actions create evidence and lead to belief changes Importance of breaking cycles of hoarding through behaviour change Practical Strategies for Acting As If Imagining how another person (someone without hoarding disorder) would act Acting as if items are already gone to help with psychological closure Acting as if you trust the process or expert advice Acting as if you deserve a nicer home and greater self-worth Acting as if letting go of items won’t be as painful as feared Acting as if you can tolerate discomfort Common Obstacles and Challenges Feeling like a fraud or being inauthentic New actions feeling unnatural Comparison to physiotherapy exercises: discomfort as a sign of change Intensification of difficult feelings and memories Panic, grief, anger, fear Navigating emotional responses and learning from them Separating intense emotions from actual danger Distinguishing between productive discomfort and harmful pushing Productive discomfort vs. burnout or retraumatisation Importance of support and learning moderation Slipping up after success with “acting as if” Giving yourself permission to start again Using setbacks as data, not failure Benefits of Acting As If Reduction of analysis paralysis and cognitive overload Achieving small wins and momentum Disproving fears through new evidence Gradual adaptation of beliefs and feelings to new behaviours Brain’s capacity to notice new patterns and adapt Tips and Encouragement for Trying “Acting As If” Suggests listeners identify one area to test acting as if Reassurance that belief is not required to begin Details about the Chirp Your Home decluttering course Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @[email protected] TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

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• REMIX: Hoarding disorder, Diogenes syndrome or squalor? With Dr Jan Eppingstall

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  I am full of germs and even huskier than usual, so this week, enjoy this fascinating conversation with Dr Jan Eppingstall, where we talk about hoarding disorder vs Diogenes syndrome vs squalor vs disposophobia vs syllogomania vs Plyushkin Syndrome vs Havisham Syndrome! Phew! You can get the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-116-hoarding-vs-squalor-vs-diogenes-syndrome-with-dr-jan-eppingstall/ 

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• #201 The myth of being prepared for every eventuality: how hoarding can make us less ready for emergencies

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Many of us hoard because we believe we’re making ourselves ready for anything life throws at us, but the reality is that no amount of “just in case” clutter can truly prepare us for every scenario. In this episode, I break down the myth of preparedness, explore how hoarding can actually make us less equipped for real emergencies, and talk about why resourcefulness matters much more than having piles of stuff. The Myth of Being Prepared for Every Eventuality Exploration of the comforting idea behind keeping possessions to be “ready” for anything. Recognition that life is unpredictable and impossible to fully prepare for. Infinite Possibilities vs. Realities Discussion of how each item is kept for imagined infinite scenarios. The logical impossibility of keeping items for every scenario (need for infinite space and money). Emotional and anxiety-driven decision-making despite logical understanding. Specificity of Items and Mismatched Preparation Example of items with specific uses that don’t match actual needs when situations arise. The paradox of saving more items not solving the mismatch issue. Emphasis that saving more increases clutter but doesn’t increase preparedness. Sensible Preparation vs. Over-Preparation Differentiation between healthy, reasonable preparation (e.g., first aid kit) and hoarding excess. The importance of context when deciding what to keep. The Role of Resourcefulness Real-life anecdotes (tampon as nosebleed fix, ballpoint pen tracheotomy) illustrating resourcefulness over mere possession. Recognition of creativity and adaptability as coping strategies. Importance of improvisation and problem-solving in handling emergencies. Asking for Help and Community Support Discussion of the difficulty and value in seeking help from others. Mention of the podcast’s accountability sessions as a supportive community resource. Irony of Over-Preparedness: How Hoarding Reduces Actual Preparedness Analysis of how clutter inhibits effective response to emergencies (e.g., inability to locate items, blocked exits). Emotional and mental burden caused by excessive possessions. Emotional Drivers of Hoarding and Over-Preparedness Exploration of the underlying anxieties and emotional needs that drive hoarding. Misconception that acquiring more will eventually soothe anxiety. Discussion about the lack of true satisfaction or security from excessive possessions. The Illusion of Vindication Occasional moments when a hoarded item becomes useful, creating a sense of justification. Cost-benefit analysis: space, annoyance, energy, and opportunity cost versus occasional convenience. Distinguishing Between Convenience and Necessity Recognition that the vast majority of saved items are never useful. Importance of resourcefulness and adaptability over keeping every possible item. Everyday Adaptation and Coping Examples of daily improvisation and making do (e.g., using coins as screwdrivers, managing without umbrellas). Emphasis on resilience and ability to cope with small inconveniences. The Trap of Occasional Justification Analogy to gambling: occasional “wins” reinforce maladaptive habits. Warning against letting rare vindications justify continued hoarding. Embracing “Good Enough” and Trusting Future Capabilities Acceptance that total preparedness is impossible. Focus on nourishment, present needs, and trusting future resilience and creativity. The freeing power of letting go of the need for complete preparedness. True security and preparedness come from adaptability and trust, not material accumulation. Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @[email protected] TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

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