That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

• #201 The myth of being prepared for every eventuality: how hoarding can make us less ready for emergencies

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Many of us hoard because we believe we’re making ourselves ready for anything life throws at us, but the reality is that no amount of “just in case” clutter can truly prepare us for every scenario. In this episode, I break down the myth of preparedness, explore how hoarding can actually make us less equipped for real emergencies, and talk about why resourcefulness matters much more than having piles of stuff. The Myth of Being Prepared for Every Eventuality Exploration of the comforting idea behind keeping possessions to be “ready” for anything. Recognition that life is unpredictable and impossible to fully prepare for. Infinite Possibilities vs. Realities Discussion of how each item is kept for imagined infinite scenarios. The logical impossibility of keeping items for every scenario (need for infinite space and money). Emotional and anxiety-driven decision-making despite logical understanding. Specificity of Items and Mismatched Preparation Example of items with specific uses that don’t match actual needs when situations arise. The paradox of saving more items not solving the mismatch issue. Emphasis that saving more increases clutter but doesn’t increase preparedness. Sensible Preparation vs. Over-Preparation Differentiation between healthy, reasonable preparation (e.g., first aid kit) and hoarding excess. The importance of context when deciding what to keep. The Role of Resourcefulness Real-life anecdotes (tampon as nosebleed fix, ballpoint pen tracheotomy) illustrating resourcefulness over mere possession. Recognition of creativity and adaptability as coping strategies. Importance of improvisation and problem-solving in handling emergencies. Asking for Help and Community Support Discussion of the difficulty and value in seeking help from others. Mention of the podcast’s accountability sessions as a supportive community resource. Irony of Over-Preparedness: How Hoarding Reduces Actual Preparedness Analysis of how clutter inhibits effective response to emergencies (e.g., inability to locate items, blocked exits). Emotional and mental burden caused by excessive possessions. Emotional Drivers of Hoarding and Over-Preparedness Exploration of the underlying anxieties and emotional needs that drive hoarding. Misconception that acquiring more will eventually soothe anxiety. Discussion about the lack of true satisfaction or security from excessive possessions. The Illusion of Vindication Occasional moments when a hoarded item becomes useful, creating a sense of justification. Cost-benefit analysis: space, annoyance, energy, and opportunity cost versus occasional convenience. Distinguishing Between Convenience and Necessity Recognition that the vast majority of saved items are never useful. Importance of resourcefulness and adaptability over keeping every possible item. Everyday Adaptation and Coping Examples of daily improvisation and making do (e.g., using coins as screwdrivers, managing without umbrellas). Emphasis on resilience and ability to cope with small inconveniences. The Trap of Occasional Justification Analogy to gambling: occasional “wins” reinforce maladaptive habits. Warning against letting rare vindications justify continued hoarding. Embracing “Good Enough” and Trusting Future Capabilities Acceptance that total preparedness is impossible. Focus on nourishment, present needs, and trusting future resilience and creativity. The freeing power of letting go of the need for complete preparedness. True security and preparedness come from adaptability and trust, not material accumulation. Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @[email protected] TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

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• REMIX: Overcome overspending and compulsive shopping with Paige Pritchard

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  This week, let's revisit a brilliant conversation I had with money coach Paige Pritchard all about overspending, compulsive shopping, and resisting the urge to binge buy.  Get the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-127-overcoming-overspending-with-paige-pritchard-money-coach/ 

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• #200 Things I wish I'd known: a letter to Episode One Me

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Reflecting on the journey from my terrified first recording to episode 200, I am talking today how speaking out brought connection, understanding, and a community I never thought possible. This episode is a letter to my past self, and it’s also to you. It’s honest about what’s changed, what’s still hard, and the unexpected power of not being alone. If you’re struggling too, know you’re part of something bigger here. Letter to Episode One Self Emotional state during the podcast's inception (fear, isolation, shame) Misconceptions about being alone with hoarding disorder The unexpected journey and growth started by publishing the first episode Early Understanding of Hoarding Disorder Lack of knowledge about hoarding at the start Pain of isolation and confusion Limited exposure to terminology, research, and causes Learning and Personal Growth Through the Podcast Gained understanding about the science and psychology of hoarding Insight into links with trauma, grief, ADHD, autism, and anxiety Struggles and gradual improvements in managing inner critic Realities of Recovery No “quick fix” for hoarding disorder; non-linear progress Importance of learning Learning to discuss hard issues before they are resolved Building a Community Realisation of not being alone — over 400,000 plays Listeners’ responses and the impact of shared stories The growth of a supportive community, accountability calls, and new friendships Challenging Shame and Secrecy Confronting and gradually reducing shame through connection The belief that shame was deserved begins to change Disclosure of hoarding disorder to three real-life people and their supportive reactions Helping Others Through Honest Sharing Helps others feel less alone Listeners gain courage, understanding, and the will to seek help Gained Wisdom & Tools Increased confidence, self-trust, and knowledge Action, however small, is key to progress Understanding that worth is not tied to cleanliness or orderliness Recognition that recovery is more than just decluttering Accepting Ongoing Struggles Open acknowledgment that challenges persist Emphasis on wisdom and resilience, not just results Evolution as a Podcaster Recognition of the podcast’s impact on the host and the community Gratitude for guests and listeners Encouragement to continue the journey, highlighting non-linearity and hope Thanking podcast guests Appreciation for both long-time and new listeners Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @[email protected] TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here  

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• #199 Layers on layers: the many layers of hoarding disorder, from stuff to shame to identity

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Hoarding is far more complicated than just clutter - there are layers upon layers, from the visible stacks of possessions to the hidden emotional weight, old identities, and tangled feelings of shame and secrecy. In this episode, I talk through what these layers actually look like, why they make healing and recovery so tough, and how recognising them can help us start to move forward. It’s about giving an honest look at how hoarding really is, and offering a bit of encouragement and understanding for anyone living with it. Layers in Hoarding Disorder Explanation of the concept of "layers" Recognition of complexity in hoarding and recovery Importance of understanding layers for self-awareness and change Physical Layers of Stuff Sorting belongings as an “archaeological dig” Stories and histories attached to different layers of possessions Practical observations about layers: Top layer: Most recent or most-used items Middle layers: Mixture of older and neglected items, representing different life periods Bottom layers: Emotionally complex, broken, or “buried” items How physical layers inform decluttering decisions Emotional Layers in Hoarding Surface emotions: annoyance, sadness, irritability Deeper emotions: anxiety, fear of making wrong choices Core emotions: grief, trauma, feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy Guilt, anger, disappointment, and how these mix together The idea of layering additional distress (as per Carolyn Spring) Differentiating unavoidable pain from added self-blame Focusing on agency in managing additional emotional layers Cascading Layers: When Problems Create More Problems Examples of problems compounding: Physical issues (like leaks) made worse due to hoarding Social isolation leading to more depression and worsened hoarding Administrative issues (unpaid bills leading to fines) Cycle of increasing overwhelm and powerlessness Compassion for oneself in recognising these cycles Layers of Identity Complexity of personal identity in relation to hoarding Public vs. private identities Former, current, and future self-identities The impact of possessions on perceived identity (e.g., holding onto teaching materials) The difference between authentic identity and identity tied to objects Layers of Time Holding onto items as connections to the past Present consequences of hoarding: overwhelm, panic, paralysis Future-oriented worries: fear of needing items later Spaces/items “frozen in time,” keeping people anchored to the past Reflection on who we want to be now and in the future Layers of Shame and Secrecy Shame and secrecy as invisible yet heavy “layers” How secrecy takes energy and perpetuates shame Impact of secrecy on relationships and daily interactions Barriers to seeking help caused by shame and secrecy The process of being more open about hoarding Navigating and Addressing the Layers Emphasis on not needing to resolve all layers at once The process of recognising and being patient with layers Importance of support systems and therapy Identifying helpful (protective or wise) layers versus harmful ones Themes of self-compassion and validation for the complexity of the experience Rejecting simplistic advice to “just get rid of stuff” The process is about understanding and self-acceptance Encouragement to approach oneself with patience and compassion Closing remarks and reminders about podcast resources and support options Links Carolyn Spring Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @[email protected] TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

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• #198 Intentionality and hoarding: how to move from reactive to purposeful decision making and action

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Today I’m talking about how being intentional - basically doing things on purpose rather than on autopilot - can genuinely reshape how we deal with hoarding and our stuff. I’ll share how intentionality helps us pause, make better decisions, and treat ourselves with more compassion, rather than reacting on impulse or out of habit. Plus, I’ll look at how setting small boundaries and choosing to rest on purpose can all be important aspects of real, lasting change. The transformative power of intentionality. Setting the stage: How being intentional relates to what we keep, acquire, or discard. What is Intentionality and Why Does it Matter? Definition: Acting with purpose, consciousness, and awareness. Impact on self-perception: How intentional actions can improve self-esteem and self-compassion. Increasing the distance between stimulus and response. Agency and empowerment: Transition from reactive to deliberate decision-making. Examples (nature walks, acquiring possessions): Using intentionality to shape experiences and choices. Intentionality vs. Reactivity in Hoarding-Related Decisions Reactive behaviours: Impulse acquisitions and the resulting feelings of regret. Intentional decision-making process: Steps and self-questioning (e.g., Do I need this? Does this fit my values?). Intentionality in Dehoarding Emotional barriers: Overwhelm, panic, and high-stakes feelings in hoarding/dehoarding. The value of starting small: Engaging in micro-decisions with thoughtfulness. Shifting mindset: Moving from resentment (“I have to") to choice ("I choose to”). Language and self-talk: The impact of words on perception and action. Boundaries: Establishing and maintaining intentional rules for oneself (e.g., only buying clothing in your current size). Intentional Habits, Rituals, and Boundaries Creating structure: Using rituals (tea, meditation, rewards) to make dehoarding sessions purposeful. Habitual vs. intentional choices: Challenging default behaviors (e.g., always keeping old birthday cards). Self-reflection: Using intentionality to question long-standing personal rules. Intentional Inaction: Choosing Not to Act Recognising when rest is necessary: The difference between intentional rest and giving up. Personal example: Planning for difficult days by intentionally not scheduling activities. Self-compassion: Allowing yourself to rest without self-judgment. Rest, Self-Care, and Challenging Productivity Myths Importance of rest in the decluttering process. Distinguishing between caring rest and avoidance. Encouraging self-compassion and recognising limits. Navigating Grey Areas in Intentionality The challenge of self-deception: When “intentionality” masks hoarding justifications. Tools for discernment: Grounded vs. anxiety-driven decisions. Value alignment: Considering whether choices support personal values and goals. Managing Setbacks and Self-Compassion Responding to slip-ups: Viewing mistakes as data, not failure. Problem-solving: Analysing triggers and adjusting future behaviour. Avoiding all-or-nothing thinking: Reframing setbacks and maintaining momentum. Building an Intentionality Practice The ongoing nature of intentionality: It’s a skill developed over time. Practical applications: Small daily decisions (e.g., washing dishes immediately). Mindfulness: Checking in with thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. Encouragement: Be patient with yourself - progress, not perfection. The cumulative power of intentional decisions. Links Episode about letting yourself half-arse it (#192) Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @[email protected] TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

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