323. Q&A: Am I holding my child back by letting them skip social events?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... How to find the grey space in your parenting choices and how black and white thinking can be a sign of your own anxiety and overwhelm. The difference between being wishy-washy and intentionally shifting your strategy. How to use “love and limits” to navigate situations that may feel overwhelming to your child. Why these activities may be more difficult for kids during the summer than during the school year, and how to factor in some of the tools you may not even have known were in place during the year. What it means to “shrink a kid’s world” and how parents can do that while still stretching their kid just enough. How parents can help determine which activities to push your child to do and which to pull back from. Why it might be harder for you to enforce boundaries during the summer, and a helpful mindset shift you can use to feel more comfortable with your choices. How you can build your child’s social skills and strengthen their emotional intelligence. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why birthday parties are so triggering for some kids 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about encouraging shy children without making them feel bad about it 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament and personality with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
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322. Navigating divorce or separation through a family systems approach: Preventative steps to reduce the risk of insecure attachment with Una Archer
Una Archer joins me for a thoughtful conversation about how to help children feel safe, secure, and resilient in the face of their parents' separation or divorce. Together we explore: Why there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to separation, even among siblings, and why tuning into each child’s unique needs matters. What the Circle of Security framework is and how it can be used to support children’s attachment during major family transitions. The three core emotional needs that children rely on to feel secure, and how parents can meet these needs in everyday moments (check the show notes for a helpful visual!). How to separate your own trauma and fears from your child’s experience so you can truly see and respond to them without projection. Why allowing more time and slowness during transitions isn’t a setback, but an important part of healing and connection. The power of rupture and repair in relationships and practical ways parents can engage in repair after conflict or misunderstanding. How different family structures after separation—sometimes two distinct family systems—can be healthy depending on what your family needs. Navigating the challenges of co-parenting, including managing handoffs and stepping back when it’s not your parenting time. If you’re looking for compassionate, practical guidance on fostering secure attachment for your children through big changes, this conversation is full of insights and tools you won’t want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: https://www.helpyourchildthrive.co.uk/ The Separated Parent's Guide to Attachment: 3 Steps Towards Emotional Security ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 If you're currently in the midst of separation, moving forward after divorce, or adjusting to life post-split, Upshur Bren Psychology Group's weekly virtual Divorce Process Group for Women provides a safe space for woemen to process their emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. Visit https://upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 https://drsarahbren.com/42-busting-divorce-myths-and-breaking-down-the-true-effect-it-has-on-children-a-conversation-with-michelle-dempsey-multack 🎧 277. Q&A: Is “nesting” during a divorce better for your kids? 🎧 280. Codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns: Creating stronger, healthier romantic partnerships with Alana Carvalho 🎧 102. Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele
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321. Q&A: What is the best response to my kid who is constantly saying, “I’m bored”?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... When your child says “I’m bored” does that actually mean they are? How to decode their language to get to the root of their struggles. What is a developmentally appropriate amount of time parents can expect of their children to play independently? What is a “bored list” and a “bored box” and how can you create these tools to help with the summer slump. How self-regulation and executive functioning play a part in your child’s feelings of boredom and how understanding this can help you scaffold more effectively. How to use a few minutes of connection time as a bridge into helping your child become engrossed in an activity on their own. A trick for determining if your child may just need help getting started with an activity, especially when going into a new environment or situation, like a park, pool, or playground. In our highly stimulating world, kids can express feeling bored when things are a bit slower. How to off-set this to find more balance. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how screens affect regulation with Ale Duarte 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can encourage independent play 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to help your child maintain their friendships over the summer WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
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320. Why boys and girls need different things: The neuroscience of the sexes with Michael Gurian
New York Times bestselling author, therapist, and social philosopher Michael Gurian joins me for a fascinating conversation about the brain science behind why boys and girls often need different things—and how understanding these differences can help us raise emotionally healthy, resilient kids. Together we explore: The difference between sex and gender. Why boys’ brains often orient more toward spatial and kinesthetic activities, and how this shapes the way they bond and communicate. The surprising brain-based reason empathy often comes more easily to girls than boys and how to nurture empathy in boys. How school systems unintentionally disadvantage boys and practical things parents can do at home to help them thrive. Why “use your words” doesn’t always work for boys—and how to support emotional expression in more body-based, multisensory ways. The crucial distinction between healthy aggression and violence and why rough-and-tumble play can actually build resilience and connection. How maternal and paternal nurturing styles differ and how each uniquely supports children's development. How understanding these biological and developmental differences can help reduce conflict, build trust, and support each child’s unique strengths. If you’re curious about what neuroscience can teach us about the different ways boys and girls develop, connect, and express themselves—and how this understanding can help you parent more effectively—this episode is filled with research-based insights and practical tools you won’t want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 👉🏻 https://www.michaelgurian.com/ 📚 Boys, A Rescue Plan: Moving Beyond the Politics of Masculinity to Healthy Male Development 🎧 Wonder of Parenting - A Brain-Science Approach to Parenting CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 214. Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman 🎧 286. Empowering girls to navigate media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein 🎧 149. Q&A: How to answer your kid's questions about gender
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319. Q&A: Where’s the line between supporting my child and feeding their anxiety?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... What “scaffolding” and “accommodations” actually mean, where they differ, and where they overlap. Why the exact same parenting move can either build your child’s confidence or unintentionally undermine your intentions, and the simple trick to figure out which one you're doing! How your child’s discomfort plays a role in how you respond to them, and the important information that can reveal to us as parents. A real-life example of the difference between scaffolding versus over-accommodating when you have a child with social anxiety - a helpful framework for what to do and what to try to avoid doing. How scaffolding is specifically tied to skill-building, both emotionally and practically. Why your own bandwidth matters and how to balance consistency with realistic expectations. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? CLICK HERE to learn more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to see if it’s the right fit for your family. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting kids through fears with Jennie Monness 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about separation anxiety 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about SPACE with the creator of this modality Dr. Eli Lebowitz of the Yale Child Study Center WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child's adolescence and every stage in between.
Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship.
And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We’re answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the “rules.”
From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parent—this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust.
About Sarah Bren, PhD
Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.
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