331. Q&A: My sensitive kid got the "strict" teacher and I'm worried they won't vibe. Is there anything I can do as a parent to help?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... What to do if your child is assigned a teacher whose style may not seem like the best match. How to advocate for your child in a way that supports collaboration and avoids conflict. Why starting the school year with a proactive email to the teacher can set the tone for a strong partnership. The surprising benefits a strict or “old school” teacher might actually offer sensitive kids. How to prepare your child to advocate for themselves, build resilience, and navigate new classroom dynamics. What to do if things don’t go as hoped—and how to intervene effectively if your child truly isn’t thriving in the classroom. If you’re feeling anxious about the upcoming school year and unsure how to support your child through a potentially tricky teacher match, this episode will help you feel more grounded, empowered, and ready to approach it with openness and confidence. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Do you have a sensitive child? Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids. 👉🏻 Learn more about how a one-time or short-term parenting coaching session at Upshur Bren Psychology Group can help you navigate back-to-school transitions, teacher mismatches, and other challenges. You can also schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family’s unique needs by going to upshurbren.com/calendar. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what it feels like to be a 10-year-old going back to school 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the myth of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child refuses to go to school 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
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330. When your child says ‘I hate myself’: Helping sensitive kids build self-esteem and get out of a cycle of self-criticism with Dr. Blaise Aguirre
Psychiatrist, author, and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre joins me to talk about how we can help kids—especially emotionally sensitive ones—understand, process, and reframe internalized messages of self-criticism and even self-hatred. Together we explore: Why even well-loved and supported kids can develop a sense of being “unlovable” How emotional sensitivity can make children more vulnerable to misattunement, comparisons, and internalized shame The difference between skills-based therapy (like DBT) and addressing the deeper emotional roots of suicidality and self-loathing What parents can do in the “before, during, and after” of tough parenting moments to promote co-regulation and connection Why simply telling a child they are wonderful may backfire—and what to say instead How to recognize if your child is living in a distorted self-narrative, and how to gently interrupt that cycle Practical strategies for helping kids build emotional awareness, distress tolerance, and a more compassionate self-concept Why your own nervous system regulation is essential—and how DBT teaches us to regulate before we reflect Whether your child is currently struggling with self-esteem or you just want to shore them up now to minimize this risk in the future, this episode will leave you with powerful insights and tangible tools for helping them feel seen, supported, and deeply understood. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.mcleanhospital.org/treatment/3east 📚 I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You 📚 DBT For Dummies 📚 DBT Workbook For Dummies (For Dummies: Learning Made Easy) ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child’s mental health and your own. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 27. What do you do when your child says “I’m stupid,” “I hate myself,” “I’m a bad kid,” or worse? 🎧 129. Q&A: How can I support my sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child? 🎧 316. Self-compassion, critical thinking, and connection: What the research reveals about raising capable kids with Melinda Wenner Moyer 🎧 318. The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud 🎧 307. Q&A: My toddler is so sensitive that even when I’m being silly with him, he loses it. What can I do?
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329. Q&A: Is my child anxious or just sensitive? Or could it be both?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... Regardless of whether your child is experiencing sensory sensitivities or anxiety, our goal is the same - helping you define exactly what that goal is. Where do anxiety and sensory sensitivities overlap? (Spoiler: A lot of this boils down to nervous system regulation.) How you can help your child understand what their unique triggers are and the tools and strategies that can help them navigate these without so much distress. What to consider to help you if it’s time for an intervention, like occupational therapy, parenting support, individual therapy for your child. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? CLICK HERE to learn more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to see if it’s the right fit for your family. 🔗 https://www.spacetreatment.net/ 📚 Breaking Free of Child Anxiety & OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents by Eli R. Lebowitz, PhD ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether your child's hitting might be a sign of aggression or sensory seeking 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding your child's sensory sensitivities with Alyssa Blask Campbell WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
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328. The neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids: Supporting your child’s emotional growth and regulation with Dr. Kristen Lindquist
Neuroscientist and psychologist Dr. Kristen Lindquist joins me for a fascinating conversation about how children develop emotional regulation — and how we as parents can support that growth not just through what we say, but how and when we say it. Together we explore: Why the ability to feel and name emotions is something children build slowly over time — and what role parents play in that process. What neuroscience reveals about how the brain develops emotional literacy from infancy through adolescence (and even into adulthood!) How emotion regulation is like a “software update” that builds on the brain’s existing “hardware.” Why the timing of emotional teaching matters — and how to use the “before” and “after” moments (not the meltdowns themselves!) for the most impact. How tools like play, books, and nonverbal attunement can build emotional awareness without overwhelming sensitive or avoidant kids. The role of interoception — our sense of internal bodily cues — in helping kids (and adults) understand and manage what they feel. If you’ve ever tried to label your child’s feelings mid-tantrum and been met with more screaming, or felt unsure how to help your child build real coping tools, this episode will help you take a science-backed, developmentally informed approach that fosters connection and long-term resilience. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.kristenalindquist.com/ 🔗 https://psychology.osu.edu/people/lindquist.83 ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Want more games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my ✨FREE✨ guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages! 👉🏻 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills so you can get back to enjoying parenthood? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 24. The psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin 🎧 06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom 🎧 202. Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte
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327. Q&A: What’s the best way to explain and prepare my toddler for my upcoming surgery without scaring them?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... How to prepare a toddler for a parent’s surgery or temporary physical limitations in a way that is honest, concrete, and not scary. Creative, developmentally appropriate ways to help your child understand and process upcoming changes to routines—like playtime, bedtime, or physical closeness. The power of play, role-playing with toys, and using analogies to help kids grasp abstract concepts. What to expect behaviorally from your child during your recovery and strategies for responding to potential regressions or increased irritability. How to reframe this period as a chance to foster independence and pride in your child while still maintaining connection. The surprising importance of shifting focus to what you still can do with your child, and how to create new, meaningful rituals during a difficult time. Why prioritizing your own healing—both physically and emotionally—is one of the most supportive things you can do for your child. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to understand toddlerhood with the authors of the Terrific Toddlers series 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to tell your toddler you're pregnant 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about telling your toddler about a miscarriage WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child's adolescence and every stage in between.
Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship.
And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We’re answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the “rules.”
From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parent—this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust.
About Sarah Bren, PhD
Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.
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