The emotional toll of fostering and adopting can leave even the most dedicated parents running on empty. In this powerful conversation, Nicole T. Barlow welcomes Melissa Smallwood, a counselor and family coach whose perspective is uniquely informed by her experience on both sides of the foster care equation – first as a foster youth who entered the system in middle school, and later as an adoptive mother of five.Melissa candidly shares how burnout creeps into foster and adoptive parenting when we're constantly managing complex emotional needs, navigating bureaucratic systems, and striving to heal wounds that often run deeper than our love alone can reach. She reveals the hidden impact of parental burnout through the eyes of a child: "Unfortunately, kids internalize the symptoms of our burnout as something wrong with them, or as a lack of love for them." This painful misinterpretation creates a cycle where children's behaviors intensify in response to our frazzled state, driving everyone further into distress.Drawing from both professional expertise and lived experience, Melissa offers five practical strategies to prevent and overcome burnout, beginning with honest self-assessment. She emphasizes finding community with other foster/adoptive parents who truly understand the unique challenges, learning to ask for and accept help without shame, recognizing our personal limitations, and practicing genuine self-care focused on nervous system regulation. Her approach moves beyond bubble baths and pedicures to address the deeper work of managing our own trauma responses and expectations about parenting.If you're feeling stretched beyond your capacity or worried you might be headed toward burnout, this conversation offers both validation and hope. Melissa reminds us that acknowledging our limitations isn't weakness—it's wisdom. And sometimes, the most powerful parenting moment comes when we admit, "God, I have given all I have to give. If anything else comes from me, it has to come from you."For more resources, connect with Melissa on Instagram @MelissaSmallwood.Website: www.mendingheartscoaching.comInstagram: @melissasmallwood Facebook: facebook.com/melissasmallwoodwriterMending Hearts Network: https://shorturl.at/aAZIrI'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/
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REWIND- Building Community Around Foster Families
What if your entire city rallied around foster families? Rebecca from Georgia Kids Belong reveals how that vision is becoming reality through the Foster Friendly initiative, a movement transforming how communities support foster care.Rebecca shares the powerful work of their I Belong Project, which creates advocacy videos for children waiting for adoption. These videos don't just share statistics- they amplify children's voices and help them find forever families. But the heart of our conversation explores their groundbreaking Foster Friendly initiative, which identifies businesses, faith communities, and nonprofits willing to support foster families through discounts, services, and resources.The Foster Friendly app connects foster families with these supportive resources based on their location. What began as a small idea has grown into a movement, with entire cities now declaring themselves "Foster Friendly" and taking concrete steps to support foster families. Rebecca shares inspiring stories of how these initiatives are breaking down longstanding silos between organizations and creating organic communities where foster families find much-needed support and connection.We dive deep into why community support is so crucial for foster families. Unlike other forms of service, fostering doesn't end when you come home- it is home. The 24/7 nature of this commitment, combined with the complexities of navigating the system, leads most foster parents nationally to quit within the first year. Community support through initiatives like Foster Friendly helps extend the longevity of foster families, directly benefiting children who desperately need stability.Whether you're fostering, considering fostering, or simply want to support those who do, this conversation offers practical ways to get involved. Download the Foster Friendly app today to find supportive businesses in your area and discover how you can be part of building a community where foster families thrive!I'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/
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REWIND: Supporting Biological Kids in the Foster Care and Adoption Journey
What happens to the children who were already in the home when foster kids arrive? Daniela Coats offers a perspective rarely heard in foster care conversations- that of the birth child.Growing up as the oldest of three biological siblings in a family that began fostering when she was seven, Daniela experienced firsthand the complex emotions that come with sharing your parents, your space, and your family identity. From the jealousy she felt when a foster child called her father "Dad" after just meeting him to the invisibility she experienced as relatives and community members focused exclusively on the new additions to her family, her story illuminates the hidden challenges birth children often face.Now a licensed social worker, adoptive mother of four, and founder of With Siblings, Daniela brings professional insight alongside personal experience. She challenges common assumptions about birth order and instead focuses on how roles shift within families with each placement- like a mobile that must find a new balance when pieces are added or removed.For parents navigating this delicate balance, Daniela offers practical wisdom through her "three Rs" approach after placements end: rest to recover from the accelerated pace of life with foster children, reconnect through intentional one-on-one time with birth children, and reassess as a family whether and how to continue the fostering journey. Her children's book "The Day Lily Turned Uninvisible" further explores these themes through the eyes of a child.Whether you're currently fostering, considering opening your home, or supporting someone who is, this conversation provides essential perspective on creating a family system where every child – both those who arrive and those who were already there- feels seen, valued, and understood. Because when we support the entire family, everyone thrives.Daniela's Social Media:Instagram - @with_siblings and @daniela.coats Facebook - facebook.com/withsiblingsTXBook: https://a.co/d/5F68VsoI'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/
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REWIND: Lessons in Resilience with Raquel McCloud
Raquel McLeod shares her powerful journey as a birth mother, child of kinship care, and kinship adoptive mom, illustrating how resilience can be cultivated through intentional practices and consistent support.• The nine elements that build resilience include having one stable adult, cultivating self-worth, and prioritizing physical wellness• Physical health dramatically impacts mental wellbeing—Raquel shares how fitness transformed her life during her darkest period• Practicing gratitude and optimism builds resilience by training the brain to acknowledge both difficulty and hope simultaneously• Modeling healthy behaviors for children may not show immediate results but lays crucial foundations for their future• Involving children in daily activities (cooking, exercise, spiritual practices) builds life skills and creates opportunities for connection• Setting appropriate boundaries while maintaining family relationships is an essential skill for kinship caregiversJoin me in fostering parent well through understanding trauma, building resilience, and creating homes where both grief and gratitude can coexist.Raquel's book: https://a.co/d/aGsBFtV Raquel's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mccloudlife?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw== I'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/
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REWIND: Being a Learner as a Foster or Adoptive Parent
Ever felt like the gap between what you know about trauma and how you respond to it is impossibly wide? In this soul-nourishing conversation with Katrina Campbell, Director of Training at FaithBridgeU, we explore how continuous learning transforms not just our parenting but our spiritual lives."Suffering moved in with me," Katrina shares, capturing the profound reality of what happens when foster children enter our homes. The theoretical suddenly becomes intensely personal, challenging us at our core. Throughout our discussion, we unpack how this ministry reveals both our limitations and God's faithfulness in extraordinary ways.We dive into the difference between knowledge and wisdom in trauma parenting—knowing facts versus knowing how to apply them when a child is in crisis. Katrina brilliantly explains this as "knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit basket." This practical wisdom comes through intentional learning and community support, both available through resources like FaithBridgeU.Perhaps most compelling is our exploration of how this journey deepens faith. Those moments when we have no strength left become sacred opportunities to experience God's provision. As Katrina says, "When foster care, which is mission work, moved in with me 24-7, that's when I started to see... I had to start relying on my faith so much more."Whether you're gathering required training hours or simply seeking wisdom for your adoption journey, this episode offers a refreshing perspective on learning as spiritual formation. The challenges may be significant, but the community, resources, and divine support available make this sacred work not just possible, but transformative.Ready to approach your parenting journey with renewed purpose? Subscribe to the Foster Parent Well podcast for more conversations that blend practical wisdom with spiritual encouragement.FaithbridgeU Training Platform: https://faithbridgeu.com/I'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/
Foster Parent Well is the go-to podcast for foster and adoptive parents who are navigating the complexities of parenting children with trauma while trying to stay sane in the process. Hosted by Nicole T Barlow, a foster and adoptive mom of six, parent trainer, and wellness coach, this podcast is where faith, resilience, and practical strategies come together. If you're feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, or just plain exhausted from the daily realities of foster care and adoption—you're not alone. Here, we have real conversations about the hard stuff: attachment struggles, secondary trauma, parenting beyond behaviors, and the deep emotional weight of loving kids from hard places. But we also talk about you—your health, your nervous system, your faith, and the small, sustainable ways you can care for yourself so you can keep showing up for your kids. Expect practical tips, faith-based encouragement, expert insights, and zero sugarcoating—just real, honest talk about what it takes to foster well, adopt well, and most importantly, stay well in the process. Because parenting kids with trauma is a marathon, not a sprint—and you were never meant to run it alone. 🎧 Subscribe now and let’s do this together!
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