Foster Parent Well

Foster care is one of those topics people say they care about until the details feel too heavy. That’s exactly why I wanted this conversation with Dr. John DeGarmo and Jen Lilley to be unfiltered, practical, and full of hope, because foster parenting is hard, kids in care are real, and vague inspiration is not enough when a placement call comes at 10:30 at night. John brings decades of foster care advocacy and training, and Jen brings the raw, lived experience of fostering and adoption while raising kids and using her public platform to shine a light on child welfare.

We talk about their book, Call to Foster: An Honest Guide to Getting Started, and who it’s for: the person quietly wondering “Could I do this?”, the foster parent on the edge of burnout, and the social worker who needs a resource that tells the truth without scaring good people away. We name the myths that hurt families, especially the “you must be a superhero” narrative, and why it can pile on shame when you’re already stretched thin. We also dig into why awareness equals advocacy, how trauma impacts kids for years, and why this work deserves urgency in every community.

Faith is woven through the conversation in a way that stays honest about suffering and big emotions. We share what foster care has taught us about control, surrender, resilience, and finding support that actually helps. If you’re considering fostering, already in the trenches, or looking for a concrete way to support foster families, you’ll walk away with language, perspective, and next steps you can use today. Subscribe for more real foster care conversations, share this with a friend, and leave a review telling us what stood out to you.

Called to Foster: https://a.co/d/00WC1p2e
Visit The Foster Care Institute:  https://www.drjohndegarmofostercare.com/index.html
Dr. John’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100078889265859 
Jen Lilley Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jen_lilley?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw== 
Jen Lilley’s Website: https://www.jenlilley.com/ 

Halo Project: https://haloprojectokc.com/ 

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The hardest seasons are the ones we want to hide, and they are often the ones other foster parents most need to hear about. We are coming to you from the messy middle, where trauma meets puberty, where kitchens are loud, and where you can love the people under your roof with your whole life and still feel like you have nothing left to give. If you have ever thought, “I cannot encourage anyone right now because I am barely surviving,” this conversation is for you.

May is National Foster Care Awareness Month, and we wrestle with a real question: how do we recruit, advocate, and invite others in without selling a highlight reel? Polished foster care advocacy can isolate families who are struggling and can give future foster parents unrealistic expectations. We talk about a faith-filled “both and” framework: foster care is hard and holy, grief and gift, exhausting and sacred. We also name the reality underneath adoption and reunification, and why telling the truth can actually build trust and reduce shame.

You will leave with practical, trauma-informed ways to advocate without oversharing: tell one true thing, reframe the ask so people can support through respite care, meal trains, rides, tutoring, mentoring, court advocacy, and donations, and invite questions instead of applause. We also get honest about sustainability, because rest is advocacy, and a burned-out foster parent is not a recruiter. If you are considering fostering, we share the clearest counsel we know: expect cost, expect Jesus, and do not do it alone.

Subscribe to the Foster Parent Well Podcast, share this with one person who needs it, and if it helped, leave a review so more foster, kinship, and adoptive families can find steady support.
Connect with me on Instagram:     
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Five parenting “truths” get repeated so often they start to sound like gospel: let them be bored, they should sit through church, eat what I make, obey right away, and don’t worry because kids are resilient. But when you are fostering, adopting, or parenting children impacted by trauma, those messages can pile on pressure and leave you wondering why your home feels harder than everyone else’s. I share why that disconnect is not proof you are doing it wrong. It is often proof the advice was not made for your child’s nervous system, history, or needs.

We talk about why boredom can feel like a lack of safety, how structure and predictability can reduce chaos, and what scaffolding unstructured play can look like in real life. We also dig into faith spaces, including the unspoken expectation that kids should “perform” in big church. I explain why church should be a place of connection, how movement breaks and gradual exposure can be wise, and how spiritual formation happens far beyond the sanctuary. You will also hear a personal story that reframes what growth and sanctification can look like over time.

Then we move into two everyday battlegrounds for many foster and adoptive parents: food and obedience. We explore why food is often about trust, control, and sensory needs, plus practical ways to offer safe foods without turning dinner into a war. Finally, we challenge the idea that resilience is automatic and replace it with a trauma informed view: resilience is built through consistent care, safe relationships, and support. If you are craving permission to parent differently and still feel confident you are doing good work, press play, then subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more foster and adoptive parents can find this space.
Connect with me on Instagram:     
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Quiet, unseen moments often carry the greatest weight in foster care: packing lunches, sitting in courtrooms, driving to visits, and praying in the dark when no one’s clapping. We open with a moving reunification story—a true sending where a mom and baby are wrapped in prayer, gifts, and a promise of ongoing community—and use it to reframe what impact actually looks like over the long haul.

Pastor James Griffin of Cross Point City Church joins us to share why their church mobilized around foster care and adoption through a biblical, personal, and local lens. We talk about the call to care for the vulnerable, the role of grandparents and spiritual family in breaking cycles, and the practical reality that hundreds of kids nearby need trauma-aware, loving homes. James lays out a path for anyone discerning their role: start with prayer, seek wise counsel, and consider joining a care community to support a foster family before taking the licensing plunge. Along the way, he returns to a simple but freeing reset—our job is faithfulness; God’s job is fruitfulness.

We also get honest about the grind. Why do so many families burn out? Isolation. Together we unpack habits that protect endurance: prayer as a daily confession of weakness, leaning on a church community that refuses to let families carry the weight alone, and embracing the long game of Galatians 6:9—do not grow weary in doing good, because a harvest will come. From baptisms across foster, adoptive, and biological families to ministries reshaped by trauma-informed care, we trace how quiet yeses ripple into visible change and generational restoration.

If you’re on the fence, this conversation offers tangible first steps and a vision big enough to overcome fear. If you’re exhausted, it’s a reminder that you are seen, supplied with daily grace, and never meant to do this alone. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs courage today, and leave a review to help more families find hope and practical support.
Crosspoint's Website
Instagram: @pastorjamesgriffin and @crosspointcity
Facebook: Crosspoint City Church

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What if the hardest conversation in your home could become one of the most healing? We sat down with licensed clinical social worker and adoptive mom Susan Paa to talk about how to speak with kids about their biological families in a way that is honest, compassionate, and hopeful. No scripts that erase pain. No platitudes that glamorize harm. Just grounded wisdom you can use tonight.

We unpack the core lens that changes everything: compassion. When we learn the wider context behind addiction, domestic violence, mental health, poverty, and generational trauma, our language shifts from blame to dignity without excusing unsafe behavior. Susan shares why phrasing like recovery is possible matters, how to honor birth family humanity, and simple ways to affirm kids daily—You have your mom’s eyes; your dad’s creativity is in you—so trust is present before heavy truths arrive.

Timing matters, too. Drawing on Erikson and Piaget, we explore why ages eight to ten can be the best window to share a child’s full story: before abstract thinking blooms and identity turbulence hits, facts land as facts and integrate with less shock. We cover how to address sexual trauma wisely by first teaching a healthy framework for bodies, consent, and God’s design, then layering detail with care. Along the way, we model both-and thinking: you can love your first family and name what wasn’t safe; you can miss them and feel secure here.

You won’t get every word right. You can still create a home where every person in your child’s story is spoken of with truth and honor. Listen for concrete language, timing cues, and a faith-shaped posture that holds dignity and safety together. If this served you, subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with a foster or adoptive parent who needs fresh courage today.
Find Susan on IG: @paasusan1
Replanted Conference: https://replantedconference.org/
Connect with me on Instagram:     
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
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