PART ONE: LEARNED HELPLESSNESS with Bay Garnett
Today I speak to the stylist, editor, podcaster and author of Style & Substance, Bay Garnett, just one year on from her ADHD diagnosis. While we amble through our shared memories and her career as a stylist, we also dive deep into the issues of learned helplessness with someone for whom the discovery is still quite fresh. The concept of Learned Helplessness was established by American psychologist, Martin Seligman in 1967, and it’s essentially the theory that when a person or animal learns to accept and endure an unpleasant event and no longer tries to avoid or adapt, even when it can be easily avoided, they have been conditioned to think they have no power over their situation. It’s something commonly seen with ADHD, especially those diagnosed later in life, as we repeatedly try and fail to perform as we’d wish. It becomes easier – emotionally and physically – to avoid that activity altogether. It’s something I can identify in several of my own issues, from putting together flat pack furniture to changing passwords online.
Bay - one of the best loved multi-hyphenates of the fashion world – and I first met about 15 years ago at Vogue, when she was styling the likes of Sophie Dahl for cover shoots, championing vintage and second-hand clothing. It was great to be able to reflect on that time together through the lens of ADHD, and share the experiences that led Bay to seek an assessment last year.
We discuss growing up ‘on the outside’ of things, feeling incapable at school and bunking off, and how that develops into adulthood, in your career, within your family dynamic and in day-to-day living. Bay shares how she still isn’t sure she knows what she’s ‘good at’, after years of feeling inadequate, but has unwittingly shaped a career that would make the most of her strengths and largely reduce the number of challenges she would face around admin and organisation. She reveals what it’s like to work at VOGUE when you’ve got ADHD, what it feels like to lose things and how people often show up for you in those scenarios.
In a slight twist on our usual format, we have decided to share YOUR questions with the experts. This week, we ask Dr Mohamed Abdelghani, a lead consultant psychiatrist specialising in ADHD in adults at Nurify Medical in London: how do you know if your ADHD meds are working? How should you ideally feel on them?
Follow the podcast for the next episode of this 2-part feature with Bay, where we explore what follows a diagnosis, how Bay is unlearning learned helplessness and the positive impact her ADHD has had on her kids.
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You can find Bay on Instagram @baygarnett and her book, Style & Substance: Why What We Wear Matters is available here
You can also listen to Bay’s podcast, This Old Thing, wherever you get your podcast from.
If you are experiencing any issues with your medication, consult your doctor. Please note, your first port of call if you think you might have ADHD should be your GP. In the meantime, you can find more information here:
Understanding ADHD in Girls and Women, by Joanne Steer
Huge thanks to The Tape Agency for making this two-part special and taking such good care of me.
Please note, your first port of call if you think you might have ADHD should be your GP. This podcast is no substitute for professional medical care or diagnosis. In the meantime, you can find more information here:
The ADHD Foundation
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