In this episode we are delving deeper into parenting with ADHD, looking specifically at what happens when your child also has ADHD. I’ll be sharing this chat with Kate Moryousseff.  Back in series 1 I had a really interesting conversation with Dr Pragya Agarwal about parenting with ADHD. I have received more messages about that episode than any other, and I know it’s something that for many of us is proving to be the most challenging aspect of their ADHD experience. It also became clear how many of you not only have ADHD yourselves but are parenting a child or children with ADHD. Often that’s the way adults receive their diagnosis (you can also refer back to our episode with Caroline Hirons on this front!). So I wanted to delve into one woman’s experience of parenting children with ADHD.  Kate Moryoussef is an EFT and lifestyle coach and host of the ADHD Women’s Well-being podcast. She and her then 9 year old child were diagnosed within weeks of each other in 2020.  Kate and I discuss the additional difficulties of supporting a child with ADHD when you have ADHD yourself and some of the challenging situations that arise on a daily basis. She talks about trying to model healthy coping mechanisms so as to equip them to deal with their own struggles, how important it is to break generational cycles with this genetic condition, and how self awareness is key to understanding how to parent a child with ADHD.  Kate shares the situations she finds most triggering, those she avoids altogether and how to find the balance between being the guide you wish you’d had as a child and letting your child find their own path free from your projections.  Kate also reveals how she’s trying to shake the gendered shame she’s long carried as a woman with ADHD and the difficulties of teaching resilience when you don’t feel resilient yourself.  You can join Kate’s ADHD Women's Wellbeing Collective and find her on the following platforms:  Nosy: www.coachingbykate.me.uk Insta: Kate Moryoussef and ADHD Women's Wellbeing Pod Listen: The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast THE EXPERT Dr Jo Steer is a chartered clinical psychologist working with children in Surrey, and the author of Understanding ADHD in Girls and Women Please note, your first port of call if you think you might have ADHD should be your GP. In the meantime, you can find more information here:  The ADHD Foundation  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’ll be exploring the fairly new label of Deficient Emotional Self Regulation - the idea that people with ADHD struggle to moderate emotional responses, and I’m sharing this chat with Azryah Harvey.  Emotional dysregulation is notably absent from the criteria for diagnosing ADHD and yet most experts agree it is one of the most common traits of ADHD.  Emotional regulation is after all a part of executive function, something we famously struggle with. Plus, the parts of the brain affected by ADHD are also heavily involved in our emotions, and when you think about the impulsivity often involved, it’s no wonder people with ADHD often experience mood swings, low frustration tolerance, impatience, being quick to anger, aggression, greater emotional excitability, and difficulties around self soothing and letting go.  It’s worth remembering mood disorders can also be a common comorbidity, and so it’s important to differentiate, but for me, emotional dysregulation has definitely played a huge part in my life.  Azryah Harvey is an anti-racism consultant, SEN teacher, presenter, writer and an ambassador of Takeda’s Staring Back at Me campaign raising awareness of the symptoms of ADHD in women and non binary people. She was diagnosed when she was 30.  She shares how her perception of her ‘emotional profile’ has changed since her diagnosis, how confidence plays a part in shedding the shame and how quitting has become a form of regulation for her.  We discuss our experiences of masking emotions as gender norms dictate, and Azryah describes how the intersections of race play into the way others respond to her emotions.  Azryah also reveals how while why she may have struggled herself, she has huge capacity for helping others regulate within her work, first as a SEN teacher connecting with her pupils, and now within her anti-racism work.  You can find Azryah on the following platforms: https://www.azryahsmindmap.com/ https://twitter.com/_azryah  https://www.instagram.com/_azryah/ THE EXPERT Dr Jo Steer is a chartered clinical psychologist working with children in Surrey, and the author of Understanding ADHD in Girls and Women Please note, your first port of call if you think you might have ADHD should be your GP. In the meantime, you can find more information here:  The ADHD Foundation  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Grief is another area where we’re often left to question, what is the adhd and what is the grief, or I suppose the neurotypical experience of grief. As we tend to process our emotions more intensely, grief can exacerbate adhd symptoms, but also the behaviours such as social withdrawal. A big loss can also be the tipping point for someone with undiagnosed ADHD, proving to be that extra factor that makes masking untenable. But then presenting as someone who is grieving makes it harder of course to find a clear path to an ADHD diagnosis.  Emily Dean is a radio co-host, host Of the Walking the Dog podcast, and author of ‘EVERYONE DIED, SO I GOT A DOG’, which she wrote after losing her sister and both parents within a three year period. She was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago.  In this episode, Emily shares her experience of grief and we discuss the ways in which ADHD perhaps affected or even steered it. We talk about the intensity of emotions, the self criticism that can add shame to the cocktail of loss and upset, and the part masking plays in grieving with ADHD.  Emily describes the comfort found in her dog, Raymond, and how important the love and support of friends has been in both coping with her grief and living authentically as a woman with ADHD.  Emily also reveals how the next generation of ADHDers has inspired her to be more open about her diagnosis, and the moment that another family stepped in and altered the way she felt grief forever.  You can find Emily on Instagram @emilyrebeccadean, on Frank Skinner’s radio show and on the Walking the Dog podcast, and her book - Everyone Died So I Got a Dog is available on all bookselling platforms.  THE EXPERT Dr Jo Steer is a chartered clinical psychologist working with children in Surrey, and the author of Understanding ADHD in Girls and Women Please note, your first port of call if you think you might have ADHD should be your GP. In the meantime, you can find more information here:  The ADHD Foundation  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

** This episode charts the experience of one woman (notably, a scientist) with titration, and is not a substitute for professional guidance or advice. Please consult your doctor before making any changes to your dosage. ** When I was diagnosed in 2021, my psychiatrist immediately prescribed meds. I was initially reluctant because I was in denial to be honest, but then after a while I started to wonder - is this the secret to me finally writing another book? Will I finally be more patient and more chill? Will I be less anxious? Unfortunately I’d never find out because when I tried to transfer care to the NHS with my diagnosis, I was told I didn’t qualify. It’s inordinately difficult to get prescribed meds in some trusts - they’re super expensive and if it’s one of the controlled substances, it requires regular monitoring.  Not only is it understandably tricky to get your hands on those elusive meds, but not all meds suit all patients, so it’s a whole process. And one I can’t really talk about beyond that first road block I experienced.  Emma Goulding is a clinical scientist and a photographer. She began her journey with ADHD meds after her diagnosis in 2021.  In this episode, Emma shares how the titration process works, how to establish a shared care deal with the NHS and how she navigated the experience with her doctor.  She describes how it feels to take meds, the highs, the lows, and the side effects she’s experienced on various doses, as well as the ways in which coaching can help support in combination with meds.  Emma also reveals how she eventually found the ‘sweet spot’ of the perfect blend, and whether or not taking meds really is the difference between night and day for someone struggling with their ADHD.  You can find Emma Goulding at:  emmagoulding.com/journal  On Instagram at @emgo.grows and on various platforms available here  THE EXPERT Dr Mohamed Abdelghani is a consultant psychiatrist who specialises in mood disorders and adult ADHD Please note, your first port of call if you think you might have ADHD should be your GP. In the meantime, you can find more information here:  The ADHD Foundation  Understanding ADHD in Girls and Women Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’ll be talking about money with Clare Seal aka My Frugal Year. The way we earn, save and spend is inevitably affected by various ADHD traits. Impulsive spending, executive function issues when it comes to cash admin like tax returns, changing direct debits and filing expenses, forgetting to settle bills, neglecting to return the impulsively purchased haul. And budgets - that’s a struggle, isn’t it? To work out and then to stick to? Not to mention the issues surrounding employment. If you made it out of school with enough to get a steady job, a 2008 study found that Employees with ADHD are 30% more likely to have chronic employment issues, 60% more likely to be fired from a job, and three times more likely to quit a job impulsively. Granted it was most likely based on the usual white male case study, but I for one can vouch for the impulsive quitting.  I can also describe so many incidences when I’ve overpaid, underpaid and forgot to pay, when I’ve been charged for a late payment and when I’ve lost cash. Mostly, it’s just frustrating - a stark fear of money generally stops me from big splurges and I’ve now got umpteen alarms reminding me to keep up with money admin. But still, my relationship with money is less than ideal.  Clare Seal is a financial coach and speaker, and author of Five Steps to Financial Well-being, such a game-changing book in terms of how we frame money. She was diagnosed with ADHD this year.  She and I discuss the financial fall out of our ADHD experiences, particularly the vulnerability to marketing and financial systems. We talk about the how the lure of ‘shiny and new’ plays into the self shame of ADHD and the need to reinvent yourself on the regular, and the link between appreciating what you have and paying attention.  Clare cites the need for compassion in the industry and for banks to change their interfaces for neurodivergent people, and in terms of personal accountability, how important it is to identify what you have control over and how to handle the inevitable variables.  How her relationship with money mirrors her relationship with food, and how a show of compassion was the turning point for her in improving her financial well-being, but that progress is never linear.  This episode is FULL. OF. TIPS. Clare is a mine of information.  You can find her on the following platforms: Website Instagram And her book is available here  THE EXPERT Dr Jo Steer is a chartered clinical psychologist working with children in Surrey, and the author of Understanding ADHD in Girls and Women Please note, your first port of call if you think you might have ADHD should be your GP. In the meantime, you can find more information here:  The ADHD Foundation  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices